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7/10/2004 c1 10Zarancids
Cool. An incredible, well thought out idea this story is.
So, Zero cannot leave or the world would self-destruct, and he saves the girl's life by not allowing her to leave. Very creative.
However, I can't leave without saying that you must separate them into chapters, and this story does need rewritting. Ever writer must do
this. But...
Keep up the great work!
10/4/2003 c1 41ionlyliveindreams
Woah, I can't believe I didn't notice this before. Very cool idea. I notice that your sci-fi stories usually have something to do with mind-control. That's not overly cliched yet, so kudos to you. Great job, I have a feeling that there could be more? If there is more lurking in a notebook somewhere, you know what to do :) Hehe, anyways, I really like this. I'm glad you didn't have a whole bunch of numbers that started with the same numbers, that would be so confusing. It's great!

Keep writing

10/10/2002 c1 2Anonymous43
10/9/2002 c1 kaze2k5
I can't find anything wrong with this story so far; even though I'm tired and I barely read it for the first time, but it's awesome. I'm setting this as an example for myself because I'm writing a story too, but I may or may not post it on the site

Great work

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