for From the Deep10/31/2002 c1 
43Carter Tachikawa
First draft? I sure couldn't tell. It's very good. Keep it up and thanks for the review.~CT
43Carter TachikawaFirst draft? I sure couldn't tell. It's very good. Keep it up and thanks for the review.~CT
10/30/2002 c1 34Starrby
First draft?
I kinda like it just the way it is.
The way you've broken it (groups of three) is helpful in keeping place, while also having connected the lines which go together.
If I had to give any construtctive criticism, I would say that the first line of the 10th section down seems a little out of place as that all others bave a definate punch to them, each being a sentince in it's self, but this one being a sentince and the begining of another. Perhaps move 'Destruction' to the next line? I don't know...
~Starry
34StarrbyFirst draft?
I kinda like it just the way it is.
The way you've broken it (groups of three) is helpful in keeping place, while also having connected the lines which go together.
If I had to give any construtctive criticism, I would say that the first line of the 10th section down seems a little out of place as that all others bave a definate punch to them, each being a sentince in it's self, but this one being a sentince and the begining of another. Perhaps move 'Destruction' to the next line? I don't know...
~Starry
10/21/2002 c1 24psychochick3
Hmmmm . . . . interesting. Physics class has an interesting effect on your imagination. Thought provoking, and actually this has helped inspire my art essay that's due tomorrow. I actually like this the way it is. I don't know what else I can say about this.
24psychochick3Hmmmm . . . . interesting. Physics class has an interesting effect on your imagination. Thought provoking, and actually this has helped inspire my art essay that's due tomorrow. I actually like this the way it is. I don't know what else I can say about this.