for Hollow Glass5/8/2011 c2 
9oregonnights
I had an unbelievebly difficult time reading this. It is one thing to describe things in detail and try to paint a visual picture. It is also one thing to employ heavy use of metaphor and simile. But this was 'purple prose' at its worst. This piece was ridiculously over the top. It didn't flow properly and had a very forced feel to it. Had you toned it down a bit this could have been an excellent piece of work. Instead you where left with this flowery monstrosity.
9oregonnightsI had an unbelievebly difficult time reading this. It is one thing to describe things in detail and try to paint a visual picture. It is also one thing to employ heavy use of metaphor and simile. But this was 'purple prose' at its worst. This piece was ridiculously over the top. It didn't flow properly and had a very forced feel to it. Had you toned it down a bit this could have been an excellent piece of work. Instead you where left with this flowery monstrosity.
12/30/2006 c2 3CarmenTakoshi
I am in complete awe. Before reading your story "Fallen", I decided to read a sample of your writing to decide if it was worth reading... and it is SO worth it.
You pulled off the first person POV to perfection. It was deep, immersive, full of character, and no case of seeing-stuff-that-I-shouldn't-be-seeing-unless-a-walk-around-with-a-mirror.
Your characters' relationship in itself is sublime. I almost felt like dancing myself as I was reading about their first encounter (but I'm sharing an apartment with seven other people right now, so no).
AH! It was beautiful! Everthing! I am in COMPLETE AND UTTER AWE!
3CarmenTakoshiI am in complete awe. Before reading your story "Fallen", I decided to read a sample of your writing to decide if it was worth reading... and it is SO worth it.
You pulled off the first person POV to perfection. It was deep, immersive, full of character, and no case of seeing-stuff-that-I-shouldn't-be-seeing-unless-a-walk-around-with-a-mirror.
Your characters' relationship in itself is sublime. I almost felt like dancing myself as I was reading about their first encounter (but I'm sharing an apartment with seven other people right now, so no).
AH! It was beautiful! Everthing! I am in COMPLETE AND UTTER AWE!
10/31/2006 c2 5Lady Psychic
Wow, this is prime example of beautiful writting! This is an awesome vampire story.
5Lady PsychicWow, this is prime example of beautiful writting! This is an awesome vampire story.
2/15/2006 c1 2Miharu
wow! o_o i loved how you described everything. I want to be like you when i grow up.
2Miharuwow! o_o i loved how you described everything. I want to be like you when i grow up.
8/2/2005 c2 21as beauty dies
boh are just so beautiful. the writing brings it onto a completely different level the lines: "Strange. The colours seemed to fade when he was gone." & "And I guess that not all flowers bleed" -just amazingly put and just a wonderful way to end both chapters. they hit the heart really, make something as outlandish as this real and bring it to life. this is truly wonderful. very, very beautiful.
~* noelle*adds this to favorites
21as beauty diesboh are just so beautiful. the writing brings it onto a completely different level the lines: "Strange. The colours seemed to fade when he was gone." & "And I guess that not all flowers bleed" -just amazingly put and just a wonderful way to end both chapters. they hit the heart really, make something as outlandish as this real and bring it to life. this is truly wonderful. very, very beautiful.
~* noelle*adds this to favorites
4/23/2005 c2 M L
I love your use of color and temperature. Wow, anyway, I wish you would write more with this.
I love your use of color and temperature. Wow, anyway, I wish you would write more with this.
4/11/2005 c1 90poetic abortion
You did quite well, I am still left in awe at this. Being a vampire fanatic I was intrugued by the summery. Just by reading that I got trapped into this. Its as though you have woven a spell that captivates the reader into reading this. Well done on this! Keep up the good work! ^_^
!~* Noelle *~!
90poetic abortionYou did quite well, I am still left in awe at this. Being a vampire fanatic I was intrugued by the summery. Just by reading that I got trapped into this. Its as though you have woven a spell that captivates the reader into reading this. Well done on this! Keep up the good work! ^_^
!~* Noelle *~!
3/17/2005 c2 brisingr draumar
wow, when centi sait to read your stories im VERY glad i listened! this was so, i dont know beautiful, for lack of a better word! i love it that the vampire feels his loss of life and then regains it in a full circle ending almost, with the white rose that his love gave him, so like the ones his creator, or destroyer left him in. the title is a very good one, radiating symbolism through the shared emptiness, but i love the fact that they fill eachother in the end, his saddness forever gone along with his lover's innocence. very discriptive and extremely love filled. its a wonderfully inventive story that i am quite fond of! kudos! *claps*
wow, when centi sait to read your stories im VERY glad i listened! this was so, i dont know beautiful, for lack of a better word! i love it that the vampire feels his loss of life and then regains it in a full circle ending almost, with the white rose that his love gave him, so like the ones his creator, or destroyer left him in. the title is a very good one, radiating symbolism through the shared emptiness, but i love the fact that they fill eachother in the end, his saddness forever gone along with his lover's innocence. very discriptive and extremely love filled. its a wonderfully inventive story that i am quite fond of! kudos! *claps*
2/9/2005 c2 31emptyword
*blinks tears away* So so so beautiful. I do hope that you are published. A talent like yours should not go to waste. I loved the symbolism in this.
31emptyword*blinks tears away* So so so beautiful. I do hope that you are published. A talent like yours should not go to waste. I loved the symbolism in this.
2/9/2005 c1 emptyword
Your writing is...breathtaking. Literally. It was so otherworldly. I love it, the story AND your writing.
Your writing is...breathtaking. Literally. It was so otherworldly. I love it, the story AND your writing.
8/2/2004 c2 freak
wowzers...that was truly beautiful. it was so sweet and full with emotions.
in other words i loved it
:o)
wowzers...that was truly beautiful. it was so sweet and full with emotions.
in other words i loved it
:o)