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for The Lyrical Abyss

9/16/2004 c1 17the mouse that roared
This poem is so sad. It really puts the reader into Lia's shoes. I like how Adam is all tied up in the poem-having the religious reference adds a lot of power to it, especially with your author's note about the terrorist attacks. I like how the ending is consistent with the rest of the poem in leading up to it, yet it still is an ending. It sounds kind of like the words have just flowed to a stop, or flowed away to speak somewhere else. This is a great poem; I have nothing to criticize.
Favorite lines:
Well, the poem fits together so well it is hard to choose. Well, here are the ones that spoke to me most:
The repetition in "And only Lia can see that/ And only Lia knows that" and "Adam lives still, she knows Adam lives still." (And how still can be defined as "on" or "motionless," which both compares and contrasts him to the flames. Interesting. But I'm going off in a tangent; don't mind if you've lost my train of thought.) Like I said before, I like the ending a lot, and how you use repetition (not that I'm repeating myself or anything). And how it is used more in the end of the poem in the beginning. Lines that really stood out for me were "The fires still burn/The screams still sound/The pain still sears," Anyway, great poem. :)
1/16/2004 c1 9Happy-Platipus
Whoa...
This poem is really amazing. I don't know what to say.
It reflects the situation so precisely...
1/2/2004 c1 MagenDavid
Beieve me Yonit, I know what you mean...
9/12/2003 c1 125AttRs Vicious Ley
wow. that's powerful. like u were there. were u?
12/9/2002 c1 20Moonwinges
Wow, this poem scares me, in a good way. There's something in the way you place the words that makes it brush a certain heart-string. It's really beautiful. Do you live in Israel?
11/27/2002 c1 38Twixt Realities
This was written really well. The first line also seemed to pull me in!
11/5/2002 c1 Woxul51
Hey, this is a beautifully written poem. I enjoyed reading it. It's very dark, and the way you described things was amazing. Nicely written.

Please drop by and read and review something of mine, if you can find the time.
11/4/2002 c1 90SweetGrape
Very moving and upsetting.

Nice note about how people can't understand her pain or how it continues or how it affects her.

Unsettling and strangely calming at the same time with the ending.

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