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for The Three Seasons

9/10/2003 c1 3Tenika D
This is very pretty! The tools you've used to describe the seasons are very clever. Well done!

Tenika Dargan

BTW, if you save your poems in .txt format it'll stop putting the weird spaces in between the lines. It took me forever to figure that out! Saving it in .txt changes characters put in bold and italics to regular characters, but if that doesn't bother you, then it works really well.
11/13/2002 c1 11kealohikakahiaka
Don't hate me but here's some constructive review:

1. I think the poems would cast a better light and "shine" better if they were seperate, not a set. Or you could just add bigger spaces between them and give them each a title, so they stay in a set but compliment and contrast better.

2. I also think you tried to add a revelation point at the end of the haikus, which is good, unlike a lot of other so called "haikus" on this site.

Overall, you did a good job, and I'm sure my suggestions are probably missing the point of this whole piece, but that's how I see it, and of course, the author always knows best. :)

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