1/6/2004 c1 5aqua-angel
Wow, a very powerful piece O.O i'm still shuddering from all the chills getiing from the chappie. I can feel a lot of emotions from the characters, nicely done :)
Wow, a very powerful piece O.O i'm still shuddering from all the chills getiing from the chappie. I can feel a lot of emotions from the characters, nicely done :)
9/15/2003 c1 150SpawnMeister666
This is good. Reminds me a little of one of Stephen Kings short stories, the name of which I cant remember right now. A really good story and I cant wait to read more of your work when you update.
And by the way, thanks for having a look at some of my work!
Spawny
This is good. Reminds me a little of one of Stephen Kings short stories, the name of which I cant remember right now. A really good story and I cant wait to read more of your work when you update.
And by the way, thanks for having a look at some of my work!
Spawny
7/9/2003 c1 3Eraserhead
That was eerie. I usually don't like creepy stories at all, but this was very very well-written.
That was eerie. I usually don't like creepy stories at all, but this was very very well-written.
4/15/2003 c1 44Xantiarta
OMG! This was a very nicely written story, although short. You have quite a talent. Oh, and thanks for the review on "Always Beautiful". ;)
OMG! This was a very nicely written story, although short. You have quite a talent. Oh, and thanks for the review on "Always Beautiful". ;)
2/13/2003 c1 8Soleil Antoinette
Hey - thanks for reviewing P4Poncho - I'll definately take that into consideration! Actually, I wanted to edit it, but who knows how fanfic really works - hope I don't end up deleting my whole account. :S thanx again!
Hey - thanks for reviewing P4Poncho - I'll definately take that into consideration! Actually, I wanted to edit it, but who knows how fanfic really works - hope I don't end up deleting my whole account. :S thanx again!
2/3/2003 c1 12SeeYaPancho
That's a nice ghost story you got going there! I liked how you didn't just go for the scare but enriched it with a message of hope in the face of loss.
One thing, though: maybe you should try using pronouns such as "he" or "she" to adress the parents. Maybe you were going for emphasis, but at some point - specifically during the scene when the son calls - it became easy to overlook the "s" in "Mrs." and get confused for a milisecond; possibly throwing the reader out of the story slightly.
Oh, and here's something I just thought of: wouldn't it have been cool if the father went out to look for the boy and finds the police officers investigating the scene just as the mother is recieving the otherworldly call? It's not really a suggestion, just proof that your story got my brain juices flowing! Good job.
That's a nice ghost story you got going there! I liked how you didn't just go for the scare but enriched it with a message of hope in the face of loss.
One thing, though: maybe you should try using pronouns such as "he" or "she" to adress the parents. Maybe you were going for emphasis, but at some point - specifically during the scene when the son calls - it became easy to overlook the "s" in "Mrs." and get confused for a milisecond; possibly throwing the reader out of the story slightly.
Oh, and here's something I just thought of: wouldn't it have been cool if the father went out to look for the boy and finds the police officers investigating the scene just as the mother is recieving the otherworldly call? It's not really a suggestion, just proof that your story got my brain juices flowing! Good job.