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12/24/2002 c5 ski1118
oh... my... GOD! can i just say that you have this ability to make me love and hate normrak at the same time? seriously~ he's starting to get a bit more, what's the word... i can't say friendlier b/c that just isn't true. i don't know. i think he's starting to care for raina. that's what i'm trying to say. the part at the end when they ended up on the bed *grins* loved it. see, i hated him when he killed her crush, but then the end... god i dont know what to think anymore! and yes~ you must kill rina soon. very soon indeed. and kander, i dunno. i'm still not liking him very much. he and rina belong together, so that's that. normrak is the head's son, huh? well wasn't expecting that! it's just... weird. who's his mother than? she has to be a heinous bitch then don't you think, if her son turned out to be... well... normrak. well, i'm glad you posted again, and so quickly this time! :o) so you're going to be 13 soon? wow! i seriously thought that with your talent you were at LEAST 15 or something! i'm 16 by the way, and i'm sure once you're my age your writing will be incredible. i've been writing since i was about ten and it's strange how over the years you can look back and see how much your writing has changed and you've changed as a person. you'll know what i mean once you get into highschool and you can look back at all of your writings. keep writing though, you do have a serious talent for it, and especially at only 12. consider creative writing classes once you reach highschool! oh~ off topic but, yes! this chapter turned out MUCH better than your others did, format wise that is. i could read it faster and it was much easier to read. thanks for changing it! well, have a very merry christmas and i hope you get everything you wished for! :o)
12/24/2002 c2 Devin
To ski1118: Nooooo, not Raina and Kander, Raina and Normrak! You're wroooong...wrong I say, wrong!

I don't like Kander all that much...mmnope, Normrak's way more interesting. Raina will have to change him somehow, make him have a little bit of emotion, but not too much to change him entirely. Yes, anyway, that's my ideas for the story, byebye!
12/24/2002 c5 Devin
Yup, it's easier to read, which is good, yesyes. And Normrak being the Head's son..interesting. I was always wondering about him wanting to be called "Norm." Heh. So anyway, write more of this...and our story too! Byeee!
12/23/2002 c4 ski1118
*j16writer* (i'm going to be using this name a lot more often now cause this one has my stories on it.) so this is only the first part of day four? well of course it! it better be because you left raina entangled in normrak's arms! hmmm... my prediction coming true maybe? maybe not. he's too much of an ass... i'm glad to see she finally grew a backbone though. she is starting to gain some self-confidence and starting to stick up for herself now. that's a good thing. i know i wouldn't let someone beat me without somewhat fighting back or biting back nasty comments, even if it did kill me. hey~ better to be dead than live being beat. just my opinion... so rina is a slayer, huh? well i wasn't expecting that. and i am so not liking this whole kissing thing going on between her and kander! hello! he has to fall in love w/ raina and just... b/c that's what you said! grrr... oh. have i mentioned i'm really glad that you updated? lol... this story is absolutely intriguing and i check everyday to see whether or not you post. i do love it oh so much! ok~ that was real corny. anyhow! have a very merry christmas and a happy new year if you don't update before then! :o) but i hope you do! but... take your time because your chapters are always nice and long and i hang on to every word. i'd rather wait than have an extremely rushed chapter. i think we all would. oh and a question? is there anyway you can reformat the way you post your stories? it's a little hard to read. it happened to one of my chapters once because i accidentally saved it as a text file. is that how you save yours? because if you do, you should try to save it as a web page, it makes it a whole lot easier to read. if you can't, it's no big. i'll continue to read and review anyhow. just thought that i'd let you know. can't wait for the next part of day four with raina and normrak! *grins evilly* it should be quite interesting! and this time i left you a nice long review! happy? :o)
12/22/2002 c4 Devin
Very nice, very nice...I'm beginning to envy your writing ability. -sniffle- God, I need to write more.

...There's my review...

..now where's my muffin?
12/21/2002 c4 lucy ann
please update soon
12/21/2002 c4 55Adyna O'Riley
wohoo, normrak seems to have . . . feelings.


Great Story
12/9/2002 c3 Devin
Shelle! Ha, I'm at school right now...I finished my work so I guess I get to go online. Well, I decided to review for you. You already know I like the story, I like all your stories. But I'm gonna be DIFFERENT...Normrak is cool. o.O I always like the bad guys...He's my favorite, don't kill him please? You're really good at making him so evil. I dunno if I would have been able to do that, but I'm kind of losing faith in my writing ability...stupid writer's block thingie.

So ANYWAY, I'm glad you decided to continue this. Its really good. OH, one more thing, that I was gonna tell you in the first chapter...I think you went a bit fast in the first chapter. Right away Kander came and stuff, it made it a little bit confusing. And, it might have been better if you could have learned more about the characters, like having Raina start off all normal, and then she gets kidnapped, or show what happens with Kander before he actually takes Raina. Wow...for once I actually have suggestions! Cool!

Maybe...just maybe..I'll be able to start a story. OR continue on ours! Thats what I really need to do...Ha, well, I'll stop rambling pointlessly now...heh heh...bye Shelle! Oh, and remind to write back to your letter, I keep forgetting..
12/7/2002 c3 j16writer
yay! another chapter!b/c it is very late, i will have to make this short and sweet. raina has seriously got it bad. and i do hate normrak, ever so much. but hell, he does make a good villian. errmm... kander. don't like him. still. once he got involved w/ the rina chick, i dunno... just don't like him anymore. i guess in my weird way of thinking, maybe raina will end up w/ normrack, maybe kander forgets about her eventually, and over time, raina can change the guy. i don't know, it's late, and i'm tired, and my mind is in weird places right now. lol... b/c we all know that will never happen! anywho. i can't believe he actually killed the poor child. the only character that i absolutely adored just cause i love little kids ;o)... christ, im 16 and i love children! lol, yeah, anyway. great chapter. again, this story is totally different from anything i've read. i love stories like these! heh. keep up the good work. can't wait to find out what happens next.
12/7/2002 c3 Adyna O'Riley
Good story!

Can I kill Normrak? Thanks! *beats Normrak to a bloddy pupl while he's crying for mercy* I feel refreashed!

Again, Great Story!
12/1/2002 c1 natmarie
Hey, hun

nice start. Can't wait to see more. tell me when you update pleae. I should be updating soon, keep an eye out
11/30/2002 c2 j16writer
i so cannot believe that i am the only person reading this intriguing story! well i am glad you decided to continue with it, i really do enjoy it. but oh my god, can we say Kander went from being a total sweetheart to an unbelievable jerk? oh i want to slap him upside his head! and Normrak! how could he just kill an innocent little child like that? it's just horrible... i hope Alex lives, he's adorable. he reminds me of my little cousin actually. anyway~ and i hope Kander comes to his senses and tries to rescue Raina. and i just have to say, i absolutely love the creative names. i get tired of all the Ashley's and the Mike's, it's good that you have a variety of different names in your story. i hope you continue with it, because i plan on telling my friend about this story to see if she'll read it as well. please keep writing! :o)
11/24/2002 c1 j16writer
yea i get to be your first reviewer! just wanted to say yes! you should continue w/ it. you've got a very good story line layed out and the two characters... can't wait to see how that turns out. it was a little confusing at the begining, but by the end of the chapter i understood. great job, keep up the good writing. it immeadiately hooked me right in. can't wait for the next chapter, i'll put it in my favorites to keep an eye on it! :o)
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