for Sanctuary5/3/2003 c1 
89Crucified Sanctity
Your works are very good but with all due respect, stop being so bitchy toward other peoples!
89Crucified SanctityYour works are very good but with all due respect, stop being so bitchy toward other peoples!
5/1/2003 c1 6Belle the Shadow-Cat
OH i like it a lot. Don't leave me hanging! I want more...Update this dang it...and a chaporone...lovely kill him off will ya?
Belle
6Belle the Shadow-CatOH i like it a lot. Don't leave me hanging! I want more...Update this dang it...and a chaporone...lovely kill him off will ya?
Belle
5/1/2003 c1 3Cry Tears of Darkness
very good story! I loved it a lot! And I thought you had kill Kainus there... was not ready for that, but then you brought him back so yeay! *Cheers* Thank you!
3Cry Tears of Darknessvery good story! I loved it a lot! And I thought you had kill Kainus there... was not ready for that, but then you brought him back so yeay! *Cheers* Thank you!
4/30/2003 c1 58WhisperBlack
you've got an excellent premise and plot laid out, and i love your characters.
however, things seem just a bit contrived. it's difficult to have ultimate weapons and have it be effective and believable. i would suggest that the Seraphim swords have a weakness. i would also make Xavier trip and fall flat on his face a few times, it might make him more human and seem less like an angel.
And no teenager goes off to save the world without at least thinking about it for five seconds.
Keep writing, you'll only get better!
Cheers,
WhisperBlack
58WhisperBlackyou've got an excellent premise and plot laid out, and i love your characters.
however, things seem just a bit contrived. it's difficult to have ultimate weapons and have it be effective and believable. i would suggest that the Seraphim swords have a weakness. i would also make Xavier trip and fall flat on his face a few times, it might make him more human and seem less like an angel.
And no teenager goes off to save the world without at least thinking about it for five seconds.
Keep writing, you'll only get better!
Cheers,
WhisperBlack
4/30/2003 c1 267Lady B.V Rose
very kool so far...i can't wait for the next part...
Now I've gotta go
Coz I'm getting hammered
Gonna have a vodka.
^_~
Sayonara
~Suicide Phantom~
267Lady B.V Rosevery kool so far...i can't wait for the next part...
Now I've gotta go
Coz I'm getting hammered
Gonna have a vodka.
^_~
Sayonara
~Suicide Phantom~
3/11/2003 c1 33Dean R. Winters
Very nice. Your characters are well developed as well. And pretty lenthy with 4,462 words I believe. Good talent, Xero.
33Dean R. WintersVery nice. Your characters are well developed as well. And pretty lenthy with 4,462 words I believe. Good talent, Xero.
12/17/2002 c1 fairyofwallpaper
i feel bad for them...a chaperone:( nooooooo!
lol
great plot, though! good story!
i feel bad for them...a chaperone:( nooooooo!
lol
great plot, though! good story!