for Spider in the Wind5/9/2005 c1 
14Cheyenne Kai
nothing to criticise. Well written descriptions, and sets the scene vividly. This is really good, and I defiantly want to read more.
14Cheyenne Kainothing to criticise. Well written descriptions, and sets the scene vividly. This is really good, and I defiantly want to read more.
8/4/2003 c4 7Demeter Rose
I'm starting to wonder if Lian has some plot-driven ulterior motive for helping Nelia. Hmm...
Did you you mention the earrings before? It might be a good idea to say something about them beforehand.
I like the pace that you're moving the plot along at.
7Demeter RoseI'm starting to wonder if Lian has some plot-driven ulterior motive for helping Nelia. Hmm...
Did you you mention the earrings before? It might be a good idea to say something about them beforehand.
I like the pace that you're moving the plot along at.
8/4/2003 c2 Demeter Rose
I'm trying to get into the habit of taking notes while I'm reading. Here's what struck me from your story.
~The first two lines are both well-written separately(the first has great sensory detail and I like the mood of the second), but together they're redundant.
~If she's lost her memory how does she know that her injuries came from fighting?
~Lian has a very intriging sense of humor.
I like both your characters, and how you revealed little facts about Nelia makes for a good hook-I definitely want to know who she is and how she got here.
I'm trying to get into the habit of taking notes while I'm reading. Here's what struck me from your story.
~The first two lines are both well-written separately(the first has great sensory detail and I like the mood of the second), but together they're redundant.
~If she's lost her memory how does she know that her injuries came from fighting?
~Lian has a very intriging sense of humor.
I like both your characters, and how you revealed little facts about Nelia makes for a good hook-I definitely want to know who she is and how she got here.
2/28/2003 c4 6Ketharil
heeheehee, I like Benna. She's great- just crazy enough to be believeable. Most of the time the old crazies who tell the future are just so obvious, but Benna . . . She's great.
Well? Why aren't you posting more?
And on a completely unrelated note, how is being an English major working out? At the moment it's just my minor, but I'm giving it serious thought . . .
-Keth
6Ketharilheeheehee, I like Benna. She's great- just crazy enough to be believeable. Most of the time the old crazies who tell the future are just so obvious, but Benna . . . She's great.
Well? Why aren't you posting more?
And on a completely unrelated note, how is being an English major working out? At the moment it's just my minor, but I'm giving it serious thought . . .
-Keth
2/17/2003 c4 grant365
Wow. this is getting extremely good. I like the idea of Benna being able to see into the future, and, heh, i was wondering when some sort of magic was going to eventually stir up. Yet another excellent chapter, and sorry for not getting around to reading this earlier.
On another note, yes, I have yet to update pretty much anything I've been working on. Answer? Well. to say the honest truth. I stopped writing. I suppose I just lost the motivation. but I am starting to get that back, and hopefully will have something to show for it by the end of the week :D So unfortunantely, Shards may not get an update for about a month or so, but thank you for being patient and reading.
Once again, keep up the great work, and I'll be waiting for the next chapter :)
-Grant365
Wow. this is getting extremely good. I like the idea of Benna being able to see into the future, and, heh, i was wondering when some sort of magic was going to eventually stir up. Yet another excellent chapter, and sorry for not getting around to reading this earlier.
On another note, yes, I have yet to update pretty much anything I've been working on. Answer? Well. to say the honest truth. I stopped writing. I suppose I just lost the motivation. but I am starting to get that back, and hopefully will have something to show for it by the end of the week :D So unfortunantely, Shards may not get an update for about a month or so, but thank you for being patient and reading.
Once again, keep up the great work, and I'll be waiting for the next chapter :)
-Grant365
2/13/2003 c2 Naja Copperleaf
I really liked this. I think your dialogue and characters are realistic, and everything flows well. ;) Keep on writing with your crazy English major skills! ;)
I really liked this. I think your dialogue and characters are realistic, and everything flows well. ;) Keep on writing with your crazy English major skills! ;)
2/7/2003 c4 3naughty little munchkin
hey there!
wow! those three chapters and the prologue were awesome! i really liked them a lot. they are very detailed and your words carry a lot of mystery, suspense and a great deal of surprses in them, esp. about Nelia. I meant to read your stories sooner, but i was busy with schoolwork and stuff. Oh, and thanks very much 4 reading my story :) Your opinion is greatly appreciated!
n e way, a job very well done here and will definitely return to read the next chapters. I'll read your other stories eventually. i'm sure they're just as great as this one!
lotsa luv, nadia
3naughty little munchkinhey there!
wow! those three chapters and the prologue were awesome! i really liked them a lot. they are very detailed and your words carry a lot of mystery, suspense and a great deal of surprses in them, esp. about Nelia. I meant to read your stories sooner, but i was busy with schoolwork and stuff. Oh, and thanks very much 4 reading my story :) Your opinion is greatly appreciated!
n e way, a job very well done here and will definitely return to read the next chapters. I'll read your other stories eventually. i'm sure they're just as great as this one!
lotsa luv, nadia
1/31/2003 c4 1Sharpe
Wonderful. You are a true artist and your medium is words. A perfect mixture of romance, mystery and adventure. Well, being quite the lecher, I can never have too much romance, but I like the way you keep your characters relationships distant, yet with desire always on the horizon, and danger in the air. Please continue on with this intricate tale you are so masterfully delivering to us.
1SharpeWonderful. You are a true artist and your medium is words. A perfect mixture of romance, mystery and adventure. Well, being quite the lecher, I can never have too much romance, but I like the way you keep your characters relationships distant, yet with desire always on the horizon, and danger in the air. Please continue on with this intricate tale you are so masterfully delivering to us.
1/5/2003 c3 grant365
Very good! The way you are slowly unveiling Nelia has made me very curious as to who and where she is from. You have great interaction between Nelia and Lian, and though it was a little short, it was still another great chapter. Keep up the good work!
-Grant
PS: Thank you for the compliments, and I truly appreciate you taking time to look at my work. I hope you find it interesting :)
Will definitely be back to read the next chapter!
Very good! The way you are slowly unveiling Nelia has made me very curious as to who and where she is from. You have great interaction between Nelia and Lian, and though it was a little short, it was still another great chapter. Keep up the good work!
-Grant
PS: Thank you for the compliments, and I truly appreciate you taking time to look at my work. I hope you find it interesting :)
Will definitely be back to read the next chapter!
12/29/2002 c1 grant365
One thing I forgot to say in my other review, is you are not a miserable failure like you say in your bio. I mean, even though I do not personally know you, I can say that you do indeed have a natural talent in writing. Over-description is just as decaying to a story as lack of, and in order to keep the reader interested, you have to find the medium to that. This, you have done a great job with. Keep on writing, and don't force change in your style, for your way of writing from what I have seen, is perfect. Keep up the good work!
One thing I forgot to say in my other review, is you are not a miserable failure like you say in your bio. I mean, even though I do not personally know you, I can say that you do indeed have a natural talent in writing. Over-description is just as decaying to a story as lack of, and in order to keep the reader interested, you have to find the medium to that. This, you have done a great job with. Keep on writing, and don't force change in your style, for your way of writing from what I have seen, is perfect. Keep up the good work!
12/29/2002 c2 grant365
Excellent and interesting. YOu are definantely going somewhere with this, and I really enjoyed the first chapter. Please continue writing this and I'll be checking back later for updates. :)
Excellent and interesting. YOu are definantely going somewhere with this, and I really enjoyed the first chapter. Please continue writing this and I'll be checking back later for updates. :)
12/28/2002 c1 orlando lover hehe
wow, this is really good and sounds like a great story. please write more! this was too short for such a good piece of writing...does that make sense? probably not...ah well, its late. keep writing!
wow, this is really good and sounds like a great story. please write more! this was too short for such a good piece of writing...does that make sense? probably not...ah well, its late. keep writing!