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for Anna's Suicide

5/13/2004 c1 71IHavePizza
So true...so true. And utterly beautiful too.
4/18/2004 c1 8Amara Ryden
wow. this is great. =)
11/20/2003 c1 30Roadside Dryer
Them! Them! I know the answer. They killed Anna! Ha I will turn you all in! I hate people who turn others down! They are so cruel, kill them all! Ha ha very nice, I love it! He he!
5/6/2003 c1 9JBJ 18
Awesome Job! The effect and everything is great. Keep it up.
2/18/2003 c1 3Cry Tears of Darkness
wow! very touching and emotional! Wow! good job! I really like this one, its so true and realistic as well. :)
1/22/2003 c1 13theblindman
Wow, you've managed to take an incredibly cliché topic and pass it off as brilliant. Cynicism aside, it really is wonderful. Really.

Constructive criticism?

Friends - they told her was ugly

You're missing a word, though that's nothing but a typo, and I missed it the first, second and third time through. It seems to zip along after the fourth line, as tension increases and we seem to be rushing towards the climax to spill over some trucidateous cataract.

They never saw what she could've been

I understand the problem here to be that without the conjuction, it becomes too long. I guess if you switch it to present tense the problem dissolves away ("could be" instead of "could've been"), but I'm not sure if that's the effect you're going for...

Anyway, that is the second-best poem I have ever read on the internet. Impressive.

tbm
1/19/2003 c1 lillian
wow this is really deep! its so emtional ive never read anything like this be4. i cried cuz it wuz beautiful u should right lord of the rings fanfiction. u would be soooo good at aragorn and legolas cuz they r in love and u no how to make emotions reel.

luv

lillian
1/10/2003 c1 71Toireasa
Hmmmmm, I like it and it's pithy. You make a good argument. Can't say that I agree with you, but you do make this powerful and true. Good job, you've earned my respect.

~Toireasa
1/10/2003 c1 132Sarah Parker
Wow. That's about all I can say right now... This is the best thing you have ever written, Hez. Wow. This has seriously made me just start crying. It's so powerful and... wow. So very, very sad. And I think, in truth, Anna is very real. Sadly, there are a million Anna's in this world, if not more. This poem is so short, and yet you captured so much in it. And that line, "Poor little Anna had no where to turn/But to the cold stell of Papa's gun." ... wow. Again. You are amazing, and your writing just as much. I don't think anything this short has ever made me cry like this... beautiful, beautiful, a million times beautiful, Hez. I'm very glad I stopped on by here today.
1/10/2003 c1 20Moonwinges
Wow, what a thoughtful poem! I love the way you pose the question at the end, letting the reader decide. A wonderful poem!
1/9/2003 c1 12Glass Visage
OOH! Good poem! Wow, what a hook at the beginning and a twist at the end! I love this.

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