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for The Chosen One...Chapter 1: A Legend Begins

7/19/2005 c1 9Eyetk
Okay, a very interesting story, and a very intriguing setting.

One thing I might say, though, is you might want to go back and check a few things-capitals where they don't need to be, 'holing' instead of 'holding', etc.

Hm...because the setting is so..developed, it hints of a much larger world that we have yet to see. Unfortunately, explanations are a bit too scarce; if you can somehow work it in so that we get a better picture of the entire background (including definitions of new terms), it'd flow better. For now, it's just a bit -too- alien to get a clear picture of.

Well done!
6/18/2005 c1 1thijs
I like the story, strange setting, but we'll done. Very unique (or just unknown to me)
1/11/2004 c1 silverr wingg
hey, thats not original. '~' How do you think Deborah Chester feels?
4/11/2000 c1 Rex
It's good... It's good...
4/11/2000 c1 bob
It was very...very...very STUPID!
4/11/2000 c1 Puffinstuf 7
More! Something's gonna happen... I can't wait to find out what it is... Something's gonna happen...

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