for Cold fire1/30/2003 c2 
1Camaro
ooohhh.. short but... juicy! I liked the simplicity of this chapter. You stated facts bluntly and basically just tossed them out there, skipping the formalities and useless details and using a more informative approach. I dug that. I also like that you shortened her name to Anixa.. so.. she's the Queen of the Damned basically? That's cool.. like I said before.. you COULD use a little more detail.. but shoot, that's entirely opinion and coming from me.. flush it down the toilet for all I care. Anyways, I give you major props for such an original story line and likable characters. Very VERY good.. keep me posted if it's no trouble.
1Camaroooohhh.. short but... juicy! I liked the simplicity of this chapter. You stated facts bluntly and basically just tossed them out there, skipping the formalities and useless details and using a more informative approach. I dug that. I also like that you shortened her name to Anixa.. so.. she's the Queen of the Damned basically? That's cool.. like I said before.. you COULD use a little more detail.. but shoot, that's entirely opinion and coming from me.. flush it down the toilet for all I care. Anyways, I give you major props for such an original story line and likable characters. Very VERY good.. keep me posted if it's no trouble.
1/30/2003 c1 Camaro
hey there.. well I see that you were right in recommending this to me. Incredible really. But let me elaborate...
I liked how Amenemhat had stated that he was judged basically for his title and only got attention for that reason. What one of us hasn't felt taken advantage of or used in some way, shape or form? I really appreciated that part.. I really can't explain why but it just seemed so necessary and cooth that you put it in.
what else? you COULD have used more detail... but then... haha.. that's coming from me.. The author who gets shit for too much detail so yeah.. take it or leave it. Either way.. you did have some in the right places and didn't drown or smother your story, keeping the plot and events clean of any "flowery" language.. *flowery.. haha.. Still gets me*..
ok... so anywho.. you've obviously used the whole "vampire" theme.. but wow girl.. you've truly made it your own, not going along so much with the usual "how I became a Vampire" and adding your own originality.. gorgeous.. I see so much good in the future of this story and must continue to the next chapter before suspense absolutely strangles me.
hey there.. well I see that you were right in recommending this to me. Incredible really. But let me elaborate...
I liked how Amenemhat had stated that he was judged basically for his title and only got attention for that reason. What one of us hasn't felt taken advantage of or used in some way, shape or form? I really appreciated that part.. I really can't explain why but it just seemed so necessary and cooth that you put it in.
what else? you COULD have used more detail... but then... haha.. that's coming from me.. The author who gets shit for too much detail so yeah.. take it or leave it. Either way.. you did have some in the right places and didn't drown or smother your story, keeping the plot and events clean of any "flowery" language.. *flowery.. haha.. Still gets me*..
ok... so anywho.. you've obviously used the whole "vampire" theme.. but wow girl.. you've truly made it your own, not going along so much with the usual "how I became a Vampire" and adding your own originality.. gorgeous.. I see so much good in the future of this story and must continue to the next chapter before suspense absolutely strangles me.
1/29/2003 c2 12Vincentfreak Davofreak
yeah well i cam i read i reviewed i hope your happy oh and the story is good
12Vincentfreak Davofreakyeah well i cam i read i reviewed i hope your happy oh and the story is good
1/11/2003 c1 wind10
It's a good story so far. I like the descriptiveness and word usage. Hope to read the next chapter soon!
It's a good story so far. I like the descriptiveness and word usage. Hope to read the next chapter soon!