for Cosmic Strife Saga: Alpha Squadron Trilogy11/30/2003 c23 
10Cinn
WOW!
Greatness! I pray to the Tikki gods of good stories that you will write more. And that includes your "Evolution" story.
10CinnWOW!
Greatness! I pray to the Tikki gods of good stories that you will write more. And that includes your "Evolution" story.
11/29/2003 c23 4MiroFTW
oh man... greatest chapter in the entire story so far. reminiscent of the ending of stardust memory but by far had a lot more plot twists and turns. i think this might have been your biggest chapter yet but seriously, a lot of good read here. a few minor grammer errors but then again who doesnt have 'em? still, very well done. most of the plot was executed perfectly.
i think you could've shown a bit more characterization for kyra smalls and torrance onasi (as you did in an earlier chapter) but still i think they could've played bigger parts.
im waiting for more action with gonzo, how antes is going to handle the turbo system, and to see what's going to happen to cyrrin after the battle of destrega.
actually, im expecting a lot more stuff to come..im expecting more political turmoil to come soon even with the death of the chimera. the valkyrie unit... the royal flush. and con rafale. i have yet to hear from him again. you must write more! and soon!
4MiroFTWoh man... greatest chapter in the entire story so far. reminiscent of the ending of stardust memory but by far had a lot more plot twists and turns. i think this might have been your biggest chapter yet but seriously, a lot of good read here. a few minor grammer errors but then again who doesnt have 'em? still, very well done. most of the plot was executed perfectly.
i think you could've shown a bit more characterization for kyra smalls and torrance onasi (as you did in an earlier chapter) but still i think they could've played bigger parts.
im waiting for more action with gonzo, how antes is going to handle the turbo system, and to see what's going to happen to cyrrin after the battle of destrega.
actually, im expecting a lot more stuff to come..im expecting more political turmoil to come soon even with the death of the chimera. the valkyrie unit... the royal flush. and con rafale. i have yet to hear from him again. you must write more! and soon!
11/29/2003 c23 41ionlyliveindreams
wow, very emotional chapter, and as usual, very well written :) I loved the way you gave a couple of people some background in this chapter. It made them seem real, not just like cardboard cutouts, not that they ever were... It also made Reece's death a bit harder to take now that you've shown that he actually had a life.
Great job with the chapter, no major problems, so *thumbs up* and post more soon!
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
41ionlyliveindreamswow, very emotional chapter, and as usual, very well written :) I loved the way you gave a couple of people some background in this chapter. It made them seem real, not just like cardboard cutouts, not that they ever were... It also made Reece's death a bit harder to take now that you've shown that he actually had a life.
Great job with the chapter, no major problems, so *thumbs up* and post more soon!
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/24/2003 c22 Mbwun
Coolness. And unlike one of your reviewers, I'd really like to see Antes die. But then I'm big on killing main characters. Do what you must... I'm sure it'll be good either way.
~He Who Walks On All Fours
Coolness. And unlike one of your reviewers, I'd really like to see Antes die. But then I'm big on killing main characters. Do what you must... I'm sure it'll be good either way.
~He Who Walks On All Fours
11/22/2003 c22 ionlyliveindreams
Oh no! Poor Antes! He's gotta survive! *cries* I'm so attached to your characters, I love them all! I really hope Gonzo can help him out, but hey, he's part of Alpha Squadron, he'll survive... *hopes* Hehe, so good chapter, very good cliffy, and post more soon!
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
Oh no! Poor Antes! He's gotta survive! *cries* I'm so attached to your characters, I love them all! I really hope Gonzo can help him out, but hey, he's part of Alpha Squadron, he'll survive... *hopes* Hehe, so good chapter, very good cliffy, and post more soon!
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/17/2003 c22 4MiroFTW
another great chapter man. the mobile suit seems kind of awkward for antes so soon with the turbo *cough zero cough* system and all. i think he might seed mode and start busting ass everywhere. as for a cyrrin vs reece re-match, nicely touched upon but you left me hanging with gonzo. i think he could've had a bigger role.
you got the suspense building in one of the biggest battles of your story yet. im thinking there's bound to be a few more surprises to come. keep up the good work and please don't give your readers another long hiatus.
4MiroFTWanother great chapter man. the mobile suit seems kind of awkward for antes so soon with the turbo *cough zero cough* system and all. i think he might seed mode and start busting ass everywhere. as for a cyrrin vs reece re-match, nicely touched upon but you left me hanging with gonzo. i think he could've had a bigger role.
you got the suspense building in one of the biggest battles of your story yet. im thinking there's bound to be a few more surprises to come. keep up the good work and please don't give your readers another long hiatus.
11/12/2003 c21 41ionlyliveindreams
W00t! I'm finally finished what you have so far! *cheers* Very cool so far and I'm kinda glad Starbuck is gone. But like they say "better the evil you know, than the evil you don't know".
I think it follows a bit too close for comfort to the x-wing series at some points but there are a lot of your own ideas that are really good too. Try to think up more of your own ideas and it'll be awesome! I love how you've developed the characters, and the plot is great. So keep it up, and now that I'm done reading I'll have to find some other way of annoying you... I know! Post more soon! :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
41ionlyliveindreamsW00t! I'm finally finished what you have so far! *cheers* Very cool so far and I'm kinda glad Starbuck is gone. But like they say "better the evil you know, than the evil you don't know".
I think it follows a bit too close for comfort to the x-wing series at some points but there are a lot of your own ideas that are really good too. Try to think up more of your own ideas and it'll be awesome! I love how you've developed the characters, and the plot is great. So keep it up, and now that I'm done reading I'll have to find some other way of annoying you... I know! Post more soon! :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/12/2003 c19 ionlyliveindreams
Hello again, I'm back, and I'm still trying to finish. I swear your chapters keep getting longer and longer! It's all good...
First things first. Great chapter! I like the new names, and for some reason Donatello sounds familliar...
Second, I have found a problem! *looks around proudly* OK, I'm not proud of it, but still. "...but we fight like twenty.”
Starbuck interrupted, “You fight like thirty...”" Zsinj said the same thing to Face. You may want to change the numbers :)
Other than that I find no problem with them saying what they said, except it's what they said in Iron Fist, down to the numbers.
Actually theres nothing wrong with the rest of the chapter.
Very good cliffhanger. I love it and It's forced me to read on! (not that I wasn't going to anyways)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
Hello again, I'm back, and I'm still trying to finish. I swear your chapters keep getting longer and longer! It's all good...
First things first. Great chapter! I like the new names, and for some reason Donatello sounds familliar...
Second, I have found a problem! *looks around proudly* OK, I'm not proud of it, but still. "...but we fight like twenty.”
Starbuck interrupted, “You fight like thirty...”" Zsinj said the same thing to Face. You may want to change the numbers :)
Other than that I find no problem with them saying what they said, except it's what they said in Iron Fist, down to the numbers.
Actually theres nothing wrong with the rest of the chapter.
Very good cliffhanger. I love it and It's forced me to read on! (not that I wasn't going to anyways)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/11/2003 c18 ionlyliveindreams
Where's Lieutenant Kettch? Hehe, sorry, I couldn't help it! This really reminds me of the Wraiths in Iron Fist. But as far as I know and can see there aren't any copywriting problems :) Good chapter, and I hope I didn't send this review twice becasue fp.com went down just as I sent this the last time :S Oh well :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
Where's Lieutenant Kettch? Hehe, sorry, I couldn't help it! This really reminds me of the Wraiths in Iron Fist. But as far as I know and can see there aren't any copywriting problems :) Good chapter, and I hope I didn't send this review twice becasue fp.com went down just as I sent this the last time :S Oh well :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/11/2003 c17 ionlyliveindreams
I take it back about the last chapter, THIS is an AWESOME chapter! Greatness. Except Destroyers are from Star Wars, especially "Mark-I Super-class Destroyers" If you change destroyer to something else you'll be fine. Other than that I found no problems, and I love the action, Antes makes a good Commander :) Good chapter
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
I take it back about the last chapter, THIS is an AWESOME chapter! Greatness. Except Destroyers are from Star Wars, especially "Mark-I Super-class Destroyers" If you change destroyer to something else you'll be fine. Other than that I found no problems, and I love the action, Antes makes a good Commander :) Good chapter
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/11/2003 c16 ionlyliveindreams
Awesome chapter... Lotsa excitment :) Sorry for the shortness but I'm on to the next!
Awesome chapter... Lotsa excitment :) Sorry for the shortness but I'm on to the next!
11/10/2003 c15 ionlyliveindreams
Lol, April fools! Haha, that was great. I also liked the mention of "Old Era stars Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez" Hehe, and Starbuck's forcs are heade for Anitlla? Hah, guess who they get to meet! Well, you know, but anyways. Did I mention that I love the length of your chapters? AWESOME! And did I also mention that Starbuck really creeps me out? He does. *shivers and looks behind her*
And everything leads to Destrega Prime! Or a at least to the Destrega system... I'm noticing a pattern here... Lol, I'm feeling a bit slow right now. So good chapter and I may be back to read more tonight but I doubt it, so I'll probably be back tomorrow :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
Lol, April fools! Haha, that was great. I also liked the mention of "Old Era stars Britney Spears and Jennifer Lopez" Hehe, and Starbuck's forcs are heade for Anitlla? Hah, guess who they get to meet! Well, you know, but anyways. Did I mention that I love the length of your chapters? AWESOME! And did I also mention that Starbuck really creeps me out? He does. *shivers and looks behind her*
And everything leads to Destrega Prime! Or a at least to the Destrega system... I'm noticing a pattern here... Lol, I'm feeling a bit slow right now. So good chapter and I may be back to read more tonight but I doubt it, so I'll probably be back tomorrow :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/10/2003 c10 ionlyliveindreams
yay! First mission! w00t! So another great chapter, but again, I have some things to point out.
"Holonews" - that's from Star Wars. It's like saying holovids or whatever... They can still use holo technology, because that's not a copywrited name :) Um... I thought there was something else but I can't remember and plus the keyboards at my school aren't that great and I don't want to type any more :P So great chapter, and I'll be back in a few hours after school is over to read some more! :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
yay! First mission! w00t! So another great chapter, but again, I have some things to point out.
"Holonews" - that's from Star Wars. It's like saying holovids or whatever... They can still use holo technology, because that's not a copywrited name :) Um... I thought there was something else but I can't remember and plus the keyboards at my school aren't that great and I don't want to type any more :P So great chapter, and I'll be back in a few hours after school is over to read some more! :)
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
11/9/2003 c9 ionlyliveindreams
I can really see why he'd be pissed. Anyways, still very cool. Actually it's more than just really cool, but I don't know how else to describe it :)
I thought this sentance was a bit out of character for a General. "Captain, our best Intelligence guys are working on it." I think hed be more likely to say intelligence officers rather than guys, but maybe I'm just being picky... Anyways, I have to get ready to go out, but I'll be back later or tomorrow to read the rest. :) Awesome story!
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams
I can really see why he'd be pissed. Anyways, still very cool. Actually it's more than just really cool, but I don't know how else to describe it :)
I thought this sentance was a bit out of character for a General. "Captain, our best Intelligence guys are working on it." I think hed be more likely to say intelligence officers rather than guys, but maybe I'm just being picky... Anyways, I have to get ready to go out, but I'll be back later or tomorrow to read the rest. :) Awesome story!
Keep writing
~ionlyliveindreams