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for Unfurling As She Breathes

3/10/2004 c1 22banal
Moved. I am genuinely moved. I don't know if the intention was to prompt the reader to try to reach inside themselves, to try to find the 'slippery' pain that one never loses, but I did.
It also made me reflect on the few years I've lived to try and remember that one moment I didn't feel a twinge of pain, but I couldn't, even though that melancholic sadness really had no reason to be there. I'm not sure if that was what you were getting at, but it's what I got from it.
Thank you. Very much.
4/16/2003 c1 9Night Hawk4
Jaclyn really catches the truth there: some pain is intangible and ungraspable and we can't take hold of it; we can't squeeze it and make it go away. Another creative piece of work by Jaclyn.. now off to the next...
2/3/2003 c1 37Fallen Cresent Dragon
God... First poem i've read written by you and damnit... How good is this? Makes my own seem a feeble attempt...

As much as many people may say this, but i can relate to this... It's sad... It hurts when you come face to face with it, doesn't it?

I must give you my condolences... Brillaint, absolutely brilliant...

Yours, ~FCD~
1/29/2003 c1 79CrimsonCat
Oh dear.. this one is even better than the last. Brilliant, brilliant job. Amazing images.. I've changed my mind about you. You don't just weave words when you write. You weave reality, eternity, and the depths of emotion to create some of the most beautiful poems I have ever come across. Damnit Jaclyn.. just when I think your work can't get any better, you find another way to amaze me. I know I've said it before, but I really, really love this one. It might be my new fav.

Dai stiho

1/25/2003 c1 159Heather Goldbug
"swelling/and crashing with the throb of her heart, clenching/and unfurling as she breathes." That is by far my favorite line, it just doesn't get any better than that. Swelling and crashing makes me think of gigantic tidal waves, which give the whole thing a brilliant image and a feeling of greatness (as in opposite of smallness). Then there's the clenching and unfurling, also beautiful, and works well with the swelling and crashing!

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