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for A Cautionary Poem

2/6/2004 c1 217MistrissD
Such a powerful point, and its so sad that this is truly what our world has become. The ending line ties it well together,
1/5/2004 c1 GypsyMothra
This is by far one of the greatest poems I have read so far. I love the theme. I love the approach you took. I love everything. The sad part is how true it all is. Very good. Very, very good.
9/23/2003 c1 47Anjeni Windsinger
How can you rhyme so effortlessly? I love it! Pretty dark advice you gave here, but it's true.

Keep writing.
8/23/2003 c1 9Fae Aislinn
Two words race into my head from this poem, as a discription of overall reception: Depressing; cute. I love it when /both/ kinds of things can be used.

Wonderful rhythmic style. Loved how it seemed that the character was "not was she seemed," as is an overall impression that she herself is trying to pass on to the other child, that things are not always what they seem to be. ::grin::
5/18/2003 c1 The Winged Omen
I liked this poem because it had kind of a rollicing meter to it, even though it had a really dark theme. It sort of made me depressed- all of it's true! There are some parts that you could change to make the poem flow better, and the last stanza could be cut out completely, because the last two lines sort of take from the main theme a little and break the spell.
5/18/2003 c1 9Lonestar Sweetheart
Um, overly cynical, don't you think? Jaded piece of advice to pass on to another child! Haha. Yet, still, i like it.
4/28/2003 c1 7Unhappily Neverafter
Brit: *Drops her jaw, imaging again* Wow ^_^ ^_^!
4/14/2003 c1 1aleppine
still far too young to know the ways of the world ... this so wonderfully patroniing (as older children tend to do to younger children). throat sore, time for bed ... lol. It's a little bit depressing actually, kids shouldn't be made to know these things while they're still girls! (or boys.) Try to make allies, but never make friends etc - in that couplet you summarised something enormous. I see now that rhyming is your thing; well, you do it well, so hey. You have a gift for transforming simple language. Lovely poem.
2/24/2003 c1 8d7-Poet
I tried to write a review for this yesterday, but the stupid thing wouldn't let me. Anyway, things seem to be working today, so what I was going to say was that I really liked this a lot.

It's hard to believe that this is a little girl talking, but I think that's the point. Of course my mind is sorta weird, and my brain works funny so here I go overanalyzing things. My spin on it is that this little girl isn't that little, but after learning the things that she learned, she realizes that she isn't as big as she thought she was and I think I'll just run away and spare the rest of your brain cells.

I have this terrible habit of rambling and not making sense and if you hang around me enough I start making sense and that's when I start to worry about people, but I don't think you wanted to know that.anyway.um.

*runs*

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