for Matchmaking Bride6/11/2008 c9 Elodie Wolfe
I really liked this story, if you ever finish the other story or whatnot which I'll go read in a few secs, I'd love to read an edited version of this or for that matter a sequel. It's really hard to find good fics and authors and I found another one. YOU! WOOT. :)
Middi~
I really liked this story, if you ever finish the other story or whatnot which I'll go read in a few secs, I'd love to read an edited version of this or for that matter a sequel. It's really hard to find good fics and authors and I found another one. YOU! WOOT. :)
Middi~
6/11/2008 c4 Elodie Wolfe
I'm reading this all the way through but felt like intercepting for a sec, first off, if these are your roughies then your actual edited stories and chapters must be great. Cuz this is really good, and second one quick question from this chapter I don't get why he says three months of knowing her but then they boys say six, is that the camping thing? ANyways like this a lot, can't wait to read more from you.
Middi~
I'm reading this all the way through but felt like intercepting for a sec, first off, if these are your roughies then your actual edited stories and chapters must be great. Cuz this is really good, and second one quick question from this chapter I don't get why he says three months of knowing her but then they boys say six, is that the camping thing? ANyways like this a lot, can't wait to read more from you.
Middi~
8/28/2007 c9 Strangely Natural
It was pretty good despite being rushed and missing some actually drama, how did Richard die?
It was pretty good despite being rushed and missing some actually drama, how did Richard die?
8/23/2007 c9 
170.0 NightRiders 0.0
wow, im beginning to think that im gonna have to read ALL your stories now! its awsome!
but sometimes i wish u make things longer to give us the thrill u know?
well just being honest, theyre awsome without them too!
Samantha
170.0 NightRiders 0.0wow, im beginning to think that im gonna have to read ALL your stories now! its awsome!
but sometimes i wish u make things longer to give us the thrill u know?
well just being honest, theyre awsome without them too!
Samantha
2/25/2006 c9 dOrKy-GuRl03
well at least everyone is happy..well anyways so loving it..can't believe that its the ends already...well anyways going to head out then..so peace out gurl...bye-bye then...
well at least everyone is happy..well anyways so loving it..can't believe that its the ends already...well anyways going to head out then..so peace out gurl...bye-bye then...
2/9/2006 c9 2Ki'alla
As a big fan of yours I feel as though i should tell u this. This story was good, but i felt that it just wasnt up to snuff with the rest of your stories. Don't get me wrong it was good, but in your other stories I feel as though i know your characters, but this time around I feel like u rushed the story from beginning to end and I lost site of the whole thing. I love all your stories so keep up the good work.
2Ki'allaAs a big fan of yours I feel as though i should tell u this. This story was good, but i felt that it just wasnt up to snuff with the rest of your stories. Don't get me wrong it was good, but in your other stories I feel as though i know your characters, but this time around I feel like u rushed the story from beginning to end and I lost site of the whole thing. I love all your stories so keep up the good work.
9/29/2005 c1 NOLONGERPOSTING
Sorry I was so harsh on the review of your story. It really is good, I was probably too tired at night to be kind. It's a great story in fact. What is missing are the details and the scenery. Imagine writing a screenplay where you have to put in the props. When people talk, they are usually doing something while they talk and they are talking in some kind of environment. Draw out each and every scene to keep the reader in suspense. Put the meat into the story, so that every character is realistic and when something happens to them, the reader feels the emotion and as the character cries, tears run down our faces, and when they laugh, we laugh with joy along with them. We want to sense everything that the character senses...and I'm really enjoying this speech...good story, now make it a great story! The pen is yours.
Sorry I was so harsh on the review of your story. It really is good, I was probably too tired at night to be kind. It's a great story in fact. What is missing are the details and the scenery. Imagine writing a screenplay where you have to put in the props. When people talk, they are usually doing something while they talk and they are talking in some kind of environment. Draw out each and every scene to keep the reader in suspense. Put the meat into the story, so that every character is realistic and when something happens to them, the reader feels the emotion and as the character cries, tears run down our faces, and when they laugh, we laugh with joy along with them. We want to sense everything that the character senses...and I'm really enjoying this speech...good story, now make it a great story! The pen is yours.
9/23/2005 c9 NOLONGERPOSTING
Happened way too quickly. It's a good skeleton, but it is only a skeleton. You need to put flesh and blood into it. Then, it will be a story.
Happened way too quickly. It's a good skeleton, but it is only a skeleton. You need to put flesh and blood into it. Then, it will be a story.
7/22/2005 c9 SAK
Well. I didn't actually read most of it, but I'll still give you a piece of advice:
Reading a story that is just people talking is really, really boring. You can't just write dialogue - it might as well be a film script because there is no action happening. Try... Giving the reader something to imagine. We want to see, with certainty, what is happening in your story.
Always at least do bare editing on your writing as well, because there are some places where you have alot of trouble with grammar and the like.
Well. I didn't actually read most of it, but I'll still give you a piece of advice:
Reading a story that is just people talking is really, really boring. You can't just write dialogue - it might as well be a film script because there is no action happening. Try... Giving the reader something to imagine. We want to see, with certainty, what is happening in your story.
Always at least do bare editing on your writing as well, because there are some places where you have alot of trouble with grammar and the like.
7/13/2005 c2 l'ilmissnitpick
i am sick to death of "l'ilmissnitpick's grammar lession #2", but here i go again."your" is possessive, as in "this story is yours.""you're" is a contraction, or the mashed together version of you are.please, when you write your next story, get it right!
i am sick to death of "l'ilmissnitpick's grammar lession #2", but here i go again."your" is possessive, as in "this story is yours.""you're" is a contraction, or the mashed together version of you are.please, when you write your next story, get it right!
7/13/2005 c1 li'lmissnitpick
wow. i already love your story. my name's stephanie and i live in canada so you score big points with me! what? every girl likes to see her name in print...
wow. i already love your story. my name's stephanie and i live in canada so you score big points with me! what? every girl likes to see her name in print...
6/16/2005 c9 breathinpoetryromancelife
lol- i have an aunt steph(ie) or (anie) or just steph.
lol- i have an aunt steph(ie) or (anie) or just steph.
6/1/2005 c9 emerald
aww man...you are a hopeless romantic aren't you? that was soo cute! and the title should have been more like "waiting" or something...that poor guy had to wait soo long...
aww man...you are a hopeless romantic aren't you? that was soo cute! and the title should have been more like "waiting" or something...that poor guy had to wait soo long...
8/20/2004 c9 Dawn
Your = possessive, eg. your house
You're = contraction of 'you are'
Apart from that, I enjoyed your writing.
Your = possessive, eg. your house
You're = contraction of 'you are'
Apart from that, I enjoyed your writing.
8/20/2004 c9 Dawn
Your = possessive, eg. your house
You're = contraction of 'you are'
Apart from that, I enjoyed your writing.
Your = possessive, eg. your house
You're = contraction of 'you are'
Apart from that, I enjoyed your writing.