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3/3/2003 c1 3Trastman
"I don't know exactly what you were aiming for, but I felt my personal experiences of conventional religion mirrored in this"

Gotta say that this was exactly what I was going for. I know alot of people who have had similar experiences to my own.

I'd love to hear what was missing for you if you figure it out. I've toyed with the idea of either expanding this poem, or making it part of a series of works. I have another along the smae thieme in progress, though it ill be awhile before it shows up here.

Thanx for the feedback.
3/2/2003 c1 10jingdono
"Praise heaven this and love the lord that"

yes. Very yes. I don't know exactly what you were aiming for, but I felt my personal experiences of conventional religion mirrored in this (especially this line).

I did enjoy the sparse language, but I got the feeling there was something missing. I'm not sure what exactly, if I work it out I'll tell you ;)

Still, this is the sort of poetry I prefer - thought provoking and non-expositional. I'd much rather read it through a few times and still be left thinking than read it once and understand the whole damn thing.

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