for Young Guns1/23/2008 c1 Robin Hood
Hmm, somebody's watched Boondock Saints and fight club just a few times too many.
Hmm, somebody's watched Boondock Saints and fight club just a few times too many.
10/1/2007 c1 
11My Chemical Music Box
Haha! NIce. Lots of guns and shit. Pretty damn cool!
I liked this! Good job!
11My Chemical Music BoxHaha! NIce. Lots of guns and shit. Pretty damn cool!
I liked this! Good job!
4/2/2003 c1 James Jago
'Tebor': I couldn't respond any other way, as you don't have your Email address up on your profile.
First, I am actually in the process of enlarging the story, and I shall try to make John and co more sympathetic characters- it may not come across too well, but John is the victim of a fair bit of bullying from his peers and abuse from his father. The sequel will almost certainly have DCI Maddox etc in it. I'm a little miffed at you siding with the cops; read the endnote and you might understand why.
Glad you also like Wierd Al; perhaps 'Trigger Happy' would have been a more appropriate song, though.
'Tebor': I couldn't respond any other way, as you don't have your Email address up on your profile.
First, I am actually in the process of enlarging the story, and I shall try to make John and co more sympathetic characters- it may not come across too well, but John is the victim of a fair bit of bullying from his peers and abuse from his father. The sequel will almost certainly have DCI Maddox etc in it. I'm a little miffed at you siding with the cops; read the endnote and you might understand why.
Glad you also like Wierd Al; perhaps 'Trigger Happy' would have been a more appropriate song, though.
4/2/2003 c1 8Tebor
Take your disbelief and fire a shotgun at it. This is not the most realistic story in the world. However, it is entertaining if you put aside the reality of life and you don’t have a problem with the killing of cops. LOTS of cops die in this story. I recommend this story to anyone who liked the movie Natural Born Killers. Lots of killing and love going around in this tale.
Despite the plot revolving around a disgruntled youth taking vengeance at the world which screwed him over, I didn’t find myself enjoying his story line as I did the police’s. The police and detectives in this story are very well written and I find myself rooting for the man hunting down the Young Guns. The police are written more realistically and have more fun with their character interactions than the kids; it’s surprising that the author killed as many cops as he did, because that’s where the strength of the story is. I’d like to give the author a shout out for including the wonderful “The Night Santa Went Crazy” Weird Al song into his story, thank God more Al fans exist; next time I go marching, I’ll be chanting that song too (it is a good marching song).
My only notes of improvement (besides making the story more realistic) is to make it longer. Take a paragraph and expand it. The scene leading up to when Isobel is captured needs to written out more fully. This story moved way to fast. Slow down and expand more of the human side of it. As for making it more realistic, don’t make getting away from the cops as easy as it is for the kids. It’s like they (kids) shoot two cops and they (cops) don’t even really care about stopping them. And where did the kids get such easy access to an arsenal of weapons at the end? Oh well, the story wouldn’t be as fun as it is if the laws of reality applied (look at 24).
As for a sequel, I am ALWAYS for sequels. Even if I hated the first story. Why? Because sequels give the author a chance to do things better and try out new ideas. However, more then a Young Guns sequel, what I want to see is a spinoff with Maddox and the other police forces. Those characters had better characters and interactions then the gang. Remember the fun we had with US Marshals, when Tommy Lee got his own movie with the rest of the cops from The Fugitive?
Pretty creepy story about how easy it is for a gang of kids to murder cops, but delivers in the revenge department and the side story with a Detective Chief Inspector. Overall, a GRADE: B story.
8TeborTake your disbelief and fire a shotgun at it. This is not the most realistic story in the world. However, it is entertaining if you put aside the reality of life and you don’t have a problem with the killing of cops. LOTS of cops die in this story. I recommend this story to anyone who liked the movie Natural Born Killers. Lots of killing and love going around in this tale.
Despite the plot revolving around a disgruntled youth taking vengeance at the world which screwed him over, I didn’t find myself enjoying his story line as I did the police’s. The police and detectives in this story are very well written and I find myself rooting for the man hunting down the Young Guns. The police are written more realistically and have more fun with their character interactions than the kids; it’s surprising that the author killed as many cops as he did, because that’s where the strength of the story is. I’d like to give the author a shout out for including the wonderful “The Night Santa Went Crazy” Weird Al song into his story, thank God more Al fans exist; next time I go marching, I’ll be chanting that song too (it is a good marching song).
My only notes of improvement (besides making the story more realistic) is to make it longer. Take a paragraph and expand it. The scene leading up to when Isobel is captured needs to written out more fully. This story moved way to fast. Slow down and expand more of the human side of it. As for making it more realistic, don’t make getting away from the cops as easy as it is for the kids. It’s like they (kids) shoot two cops and they (cops) don’t even really care about stopping them. And where did the kids get such easy access to an arsenal of weapons at the end? Oh well, the story wouldn’t be as fun as it is if the laws of reality applied (look at 24).
As for a sequel, I am ALWAYS for sequels. Even if I hated the first story. Why? Because sequels give the author a chance to do things better and try out new ideas. However, more then a Young Guns sequel, what I want to see is a spinoff with Maddox and the other police forces. Those characters had better characters and interactions then the gang. Remember the fun we had with US Marshals, when Tommy Lee got his own movie with the rest of the cops from The Fugitive?
Pretty creepy story about how easy it is for a gang of kids to murder cops, but delivers in the revenge department and the side story with a Detective Chief Inspector. Overall, a GRADE: B story.
4/1/2003 c1 2John Ling
Very entertaining story! Loaded with a lot of snappy dialogue and an interesting atmosphere. And the dark humor is certainly a plus! The Young Guns deserve more over-the-top fun! :)
2John LingVery entertaining story! Loaded with a lot of snappy dialogue and an interesting atmosphere. And the dark humor is certainly a plus! The Young Guns deserve more over-the-top fun! :)
3/28/2003 c1 James Jago
Thanks for the support, people.
Amber: I intend to take your advice, and clarify things a bit as soon as I have the time to spare. I'll give Isobel a bit more to do as well.
Loganberry: The idea of guns everywhere isn't as American as most people think; they're actually far easier to get hold of in Britain than the police would like. Killing policemen with them is relatively uncommon, however.
Weird Al Yankovich is indeed an American singer/comedian, and he hasn't recieved the acclaim he deserves over here. I happen to rather like his stuff, however, and therefore so does John- see the endnote.
Thanks for the support, people.
Amber: I intend to take your advice, and clarify things a bit as soon as I have the time to spare. I'll give Isobel a bit more to do as well.
Loganberry: The idea of guns everywhere isn't as American as most people think; they're actually far easier to get hold of in Britain than the police would like. Killing policemen with them is relatively uncommon, however.
Weird Al Yankovich is indeed an American singer/comedian, and he hasn't recieved the acclaim he deserves over here. I happen to rather like his stuff, however, and therefore so does John- see the endnote.
3/27/2003 c1 27Loganberry
Interesting. The mixture of very American ideas (guns all over the place, Weird Al Y) and very British ones (I love the Sun's "rare flash of intelligence) somehow seems to work. I don't know a thing about guns, but what you say about them doesn't seem out of place.
Obviously your Tescos are less strict about ID than the ones around me, though! =:)
27LoganberryInteresting. The mixture of very American ideas (guns all over the place, Weird Al Y) and very British ones (I love the Sun's "rare flash of intelligence) somehow seems to work. I don't know a thing about guns, but what you say about them doesn't seem out of place.
Obviously your Tescos are less strict about ID than the ones around me, though! =:)
3/5/2003 c1 Amber
Ha Ha Ha,good story. I think you should do another chapter explianing it a bit clearer (don't worry, just joking.)
Ha Ha Ha,good story. I think you should do another chapter explianing it a bit clearer (don't worry, just joking.)