for Marks story7/3/2005 c7 flies.like.decay
it all turned out ok thank god i loved that even if it was all so cruel to make mark go through in the begining...now im going to go cry over cody = * ( a character i abused back in sixth grade
it all turned out ok thank god i loved that even if it was all so cruel to make mark go through in the begining...now im going to go cry over cody = * ( a character i abused back in sixth grade
7/3/2005 c6 flies.like.decay
christian?that bastard is not christian burn slut!feel the pain you sick whore.
christian?that bastard is not christian burn slut!feel the pain you sick whore.
7/3/2005 c5 flies.like.decay
sounds like it came from some kind of disney movie *lifts hands* dont attack me everybody needs a little more fairy tale to them once in a while
sounds like it came from some kind of disney movie *lifts hands* dont attack me everybody needs a little more fairy tale to them once in a while
7/3/2005 c3 flies.like.decay
i love you mark!(ok i really am a weird crazy who likes to talk to fictional story characters im sorry i apologize dont report me!)lol
i love you mark!(ok i really am a weird crazy who likes to talk to fictional story characters im sorry i apologize dont report me!)lol
7/3/2005 c2 flies.like.decay
i write abusive stories yet reading htem still makes me cry how pathetic lol
i write abusive stories yet reading htem still makes me cry how pathetic lol
7/3/2005 c1 flies.like.decay
mark reminds me of daniel ^_^ hes my character in a story im trying so desperately to write and now im moving on to the next chapter cause i think youre an ok writer
mark reminds me of daniel ^_^ hes my character in a story im trying so desperately to write and now im moving on to the next chapter cause i think youre an ok writer
9/9/2004 c7 slaidear
Wow... This makes me want to start an account here just so I can favorite this... Great writing!
Wow... This makes me want to start an account here just so I can favorite this... Great writing!
9/30/2003 c7 pau zotoh zhaan to lazy to log in
i thought that your story was very good. it was a good idea, and it was well written. i really liked it, but i though it was missing something. it just feels like there should have been at least one chapter about when mark gets to that house, and about him ajusting to it. but overall it was a good story. well done.
~ZhAAN
i thought that your story was very good. it was a good idea, and it was well written. i really liked it, but i though it was missing something. it just feels like there should have been at least one chapter about when mark gets to that house, and about him ajusting to it. but overall it was a good story. well done.
~ZhAAN
9/10/2003 c7 jenny thurston
That was a great story, I can well believe it took you a year to finish. I'm afraid I don't have much to say in the way of constructive criticism, except that, being really pedantic, the erratic apostrophes started to get on my nerves. You don't need them in plurals! Just for abbreviations (it is = it's) and showing possession of something (Jenny's grammar book). Oh and by the end i really wanted Jezebel and Mark to get together and have a 'and then they got married and lived happily ever after' future. But both those points are just me being silly. It's a great story. Maybe you should come back to it when you have lots of spare time, pad it out to average paperback book length and send it to a publisher. Could make your fortune :-)
That was a great story, I can well believe it took you a year to finish. I'm afraid I don't have much to say in the way of constructive criticism, except that, being really pedantic, the erratic apostrophes started to get on my nerves. You don't need them in plurals! Just for abbreviations (it is = it's) and showing possession of something (Jenny's grammar book). Oh and by the end i really wanted Jezebel and Mark to get together and have a 'and then they got married and lived happily ever after' future. But both those points are just me being silly. It's a great story. Maybe you should come back to it when you have lots of spare time, pad it out to average paperback book length and send it to a publisher. Could make your fortune :-)
9/9/2003 c7 Sammy B
I dunno what to write! Brilliant story hun! Didn't know that you had been writing it for a year, wow! The descriptions did come later, after the first chapter, which is not usual in any other stories i've read! They did get lost a bit though, and if I'm reading rite, did the discription of Jez not come until the end chapter, or the one before? personally i still think u should have told us about what she loked like when mark first saw her. Can't think of anything else to write! cool story Seran! :D
I dunno what to write! Brilliant story hun! Didn't know that you had been writing it for a year, wow! The descriptions did come later, after the first chapter, which is not usual in any other stories i've read! They did get lost a bit though, and if I'm reading rite, did the discription of Jez not come until the end chapter, or the one before? personally i still think u should have told us about what she loked like when mark first saw her. Can't think of anything else to write! cool story Seran! :D
9/9/2003 c7 Sammy B
I dunno what to write! Brilliant story hun! Didn't know that you had been writing it for a year, wow! The descriptions did come later, after the first chapter, which is not usual in any other stories i've read! They did get lost a bit though, and if I'm reading rite, did the discription of Jez not come until the end chapter, or the one before? personally i still think u should have told us about what she loked like when mark first saw her. Can't think of anything else to write! cool story Seran! :D
I dunno what to write! Brilliant story hun! Didn't know that you had been writing it for a year, wow! The descriptions did come later, after the first chapter, which is not usual in any other stories i've read! They did get lost a bit though, and if I'm reading rite, did the discription of Jez not come until the end chapter, or the one before? personally i still think u should have told us about what she loked like when mark first saw her. Can't think of anything else to write! cool story Seran! :D
9/7/2003 c1 Sammy B
Brilliant chapter-ish thing Seran hun, I love it :) You have to let us know when you are going to add to it. Very discriptive, except when it comes to Jezebel, And Mark's mum. How about saying what expressions her face is doing when she's being evil etc? :) Me can't think of anything else to write, cept it sounds very much like your old school? naming no names of course, lol, chat soon luv xx
Brilliant chapter-ish thing Seran hun, I love it :) You have to let us know when you are going to add to it. Very discriptive, except when it comes to Jezebel, And Mark's mum. How about saying what expressions her face is doing when she's being evil etc? :) Me can't think of anything else to write, cept it sounds very much like your old school? naming no names of course, lol, chat soon luv xx
9/1/2003 c5 
4i-like-music
had to turn off the music so I could read:)
this chapter tells more about the background, which I love (okay so I'm a sucker for most parts of a story). Right now I'm wondering if and in that case how Mark will move in with them. Nice story!
4i-like-musichad to turn off the music so I could read:)
this chapter tells more about the background, which I love (okay so I'm a sucker for most parts of a story). Right now I'm wondering if and in that case how Mark will move in with them. Nice story!
4/10/2003 c4 1Key Elliott
I really like this story, it would make a great novel. I hope to see the next chapter soon :)
1Key ElliottI really like this story, it would make a great novel. I hope to see the next chapter soon :)