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for Sitting at Home

3/11/2003 c1 53Impressionist
yes. finally a NEW topic of poetry. instead of cutting, bleeding, and death, you wrote about cutting bleeding, and.you guessed it. death.

don't knock it 'till you've tried it.
3/4/2003 c1 1DrenchedinWine
hey, nice poem. a few technical things: you spelled "here" incorrectly in the secont line. and some of your apostrohes (etc) came out as odd symbols, i dont know if you can fix that or not. i like how you use repetition in your poem. it strongly conveys a mood of melancholy. but i think itd be even more powerful if you didnt write "next week" in your poem.i'm not sure why, but it makes it seem less poem-like and more sub-titled-movie-like. perhaps if you just separated the two sections of your poem into stanzas the difference in time would be implied. but overall, i really liked your poem! keep writing:)

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