for Rosebud Innocent6/19/2003 c3 
89Lyria Shard
Oh, me likey! Tobaira's cool! Sorry i didnt get to this so much sooner than i have, but i've been MEGA busy! Roll on summer, i need a holiday! Mail me hon!
Lyri
x
89Lyria ShardOh, me likey! Tobaira's cool! Sorry i didnt get to this so much sooner than i have, but i've been MEGA busy! Roll on summer, i need a holiday! Mail me hon!
Lyri
x
6/18/2003 c3 13Moonie
Wow...that girl sure is brave to only want a rose. This is coming along great! I hope you finish it.
13MoonieWow...that girl sure is brave to only want a rose. This is coming along great! I hope you finish it.
6/18/2003 c3 1Marshmallow Vampire
(this is Emily)
Wow, now it's turning into fantasy medevilish thing. For a while when you didn't describe the land, I was hoping it would sort a a futue-ish Earth thing. Oh well, I should have known better. *hails Starlight rain as the Queen of fantasy*. Plops, this chpater was okay I guess... but I liked the first two better. Tobaira is cool though (but Chloes still better! *smirks*) Write more.
-Amberose
P.s: It's easy. Alls you have to do is click. And then read, and then review our story. Now you have no exuse about not being able to find our account. You're mentiond in the third chapter for inspiring a line! Go look!
1Marshmallow Vampire(this is Emily)
Wow, now it's turning into fantasy medevilish thing. For a while when you didn't describe the land, I was hoping it would sort a a futue-ish Earth thing. Oh well, I should have known better. *hails Starlight rain as the Queen of fantasy*. Plops, this chpater was okay I guess... but I liked the first two better. Tobaira is cool though (but Chloes still better! *smirks*) Write more.
-Amberose
P.s: It's easy. Alls you have to do is click. And then read, and then review our story. Now you have no exuse about not being able to find our account. You're mentiond in the third chapter for inspiring a line! Go look!
6/17/2003 c3 Brooke O'Riley
oh, fun. ::sigh:: we've established that ermangarde is a little girl...how little? i find myself curious about the oddest things...
anyway, good chapter, update soon!
oh, fun. ::sigh:: we've established that ermangarde is a little girl...how little? i find myself curious about the oddest things...
anyway, good chapter, update soon!
6/17/2003 c3 2Saranha de Angelo
Ah...now we find out who Ermangarde is (Finley...well, I know where you go that). Tobaira's an interestin character (how do you pronounce that, anyway?) Continue!
2Saranha de AngeloAh...now we find out who Ermangarde is (Finley...well, I know where you go that). Tobaira's an interestin character (how do you pronounce that, anyway?) Continue!
6/8/2003 c2 3Piney
this is interesting... I will just wait and see where it goes. You have an unique writing style.
3Pineythis is interesting... I will just wait and see where it goes. You have an unique writing style.
6/6/2003 c2 lostinscotland
excellent. she's off to find a rose! i'll help! ::tries to find a rose:: ok, wait...slow down, brooke. yeah...
so...when do we get to find out more about this girl? her name, her age...anything would be nice. i do like this story, and i'll watch it. a few things, tho...
*As my gaze downcast upon my hands, I dropped Dolly once more, frantically trying to scrape the dried blood out from beneath my nails. *
um...technically there's no verb in that sentence...maybe try "As I cast my gaze down upon my hands" ? or something of that ilk?
*But they were a nearly dead people, and none headed them*
none 'heeded' them.
i think that's all, but this is a very intriguing story, despite the fact that i generally don't read this type of thing, and i'll definitely keep an eye on it!
and thanks for your reviews! i realize those chapters aren't too realistic, i'm working on changing them! it gets more real farther along, tho!
excellent. she's off to find a rose! i'll help! ::tries to find a rose:: ok, wait...slow down, brooke. yeah...
so...when do we get to find out more about this girl? her name, her age...anything would be nice. i do like this story, and i'll watch it. a few things, tho...
*As my gaze downcast upon my hands, I dropped Dolly once more, frantically trying to scrape the dried blood out from beneath my nails. *
um...technically there's no verb in that sentence...maybe try "As I cast my gaze down upon my hands" ? or something of that ilk?
*But they were a nearly dead people, and none headed them*
none 'heeded' them.
i think that's all, but this is a very intriguing story, despite the fact that i generally don't read this type of thing, and i'll definitely keep an eye on it!
and thanks for your reviews! i realize those chapters aren't too realistic, i'm working on changing them! it gets more real farther along, tho!
6/6/2003 c1 lostinscotland
aw! now i gotta see what on earth is going on...very intriguing, this is.
one thing...
*forever clutching dearly onto the bloody ragdoll who's bones my grip would surely have broken,*
try 'whose'
ok, off to chapter two!
aw! now i gotta see what on earth is going on...very intriguing, this is.
one thing...
*forever clutching dearly onto the bloody ragdoll who's bones my grip would surely have broken,*
try 'whose'
ok, off to chapter two!
6/2/2003 c2 7Wings of Dark
Interesting. This piece really shows promise, but again, the amount of detail and information you give is frustrating. Your piece is good, no doubt, but the audience doesn't exactly feel as if they learned much new. Your descriptions are haunting.
Elisabeth
7Wings of DarkInteresting. This piece really shows promise, but again, the amount of detail and information you give is frustrating. Your piece is good, no doubt, but the audience doesn't exactly feel as if they learned much new. Your descriptions are haunting.
Elisabeth
6/2/2003 c1 Wings of Dark
You really know how to set mood, but some of this is overkill. You say nothing about what caused the blood and the horror and for the girl to run, leaving the audience somewhat confused.
Elisabeth
You really know how to set mood, but some of this is overkill. You say nothing about what caused the blood and the horror and for the girl to run, leaving the audience somewhat confused.
Elisabeth
5/22/2003 c2 89Lyria Shard
Loved it tons deary, the massive time it took you to write was worth it. Just dont go away again, kay? I want your input! *WAA!* Check out Tearstains on the Bedsheets please, i've left you a lil surprise!
Yours from a bud,
Lyria
(formerly Sal, which you can still call me. Cos im so lovely.)
89Lyria ShardLoved it tons deary, the massive time it took you to write was worth it. Just dont go away again, kay? I want your input! *WAA!* Check out Tearstains on the Bedsheets please, i've left you a lil surprise!
Yours from a bud,
Lyria
(formerly Sal, which you can still call me. Cos im so lovely.)
5/21/2003 c2 2Jasmine27
Neato!
glad you finally got the second chapter up! it is great! keep writing.
2Jasmine27Neato!
glad you finally got the second chapter up! it is great! keep writing.
5/21/2003 c2 2Saranha de Angelo
This is different than your usual style, but I can see you writing both styles, so whatever goes! This is a very sad story, but the writing is lovely, and I really think that there is a good lesson to be learned from this girl's sad tale *cough cough Humanity should read this cough cough* Ah well, good job! I assume you plan to continue? UPdate soon!
2Saranha de AngeloThis is different than your usual style, but I can see you writing both styles, so whatever goes! This is a very sad story, but the writing is lovely, and I really think that there is a good lesson to be learned from this girl's sad tale *cough cough Humanity should read this cough cough* Ah well, good job! I assume you plan to continue? UPdate soon!