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1/20/2016 c3 11shadowstrike31415
In this chapter, you say that Saphra uses different wings. But wouldn't that be a bad thing? Like if you train with a specific sword. Good luck getting used to another one.
12/19/2004 c27 8Kezkay
*grumbles* No fair. Update QM!
12/19/2004 c26 Kezkay




The Zesty Pepper?

Heheh, I KNEW something was going to happen between Jiranor and Sovay, but damn, that just blew away my expectations. "vengeful little ball of filth?" *sniggers* Absolutely amazing.

Must have more of this. Addictive. Quite addictive.

But, LAST CHAPTER? Why haven't you written MORE? I must have more? Feed my addiction, knave! Update.

I shall read the announcement. That might enlighten me a little more.


12/19/2004 c25 Kezkay
"Outrageous accents" is right? "But our creator, that schmuck, couldn’t even cast a decent obedience spell, such a klutz you’ve never seen! So naturally, as soon as we were brought to life, we left. I can still see his face as we simply got up and walked away, without doing whatever world-wrecking drek he wanted us to do. "

Once I got to schmuck, I was laughing so hard I almost couldn't read the rest. Hehe, I hope you reintroduce those two later on. They were great (the poor horse!).

And (DUN DUN DUN!) Saphra and Sovay meet up again? Finally. I want them on the same side. That would be SO great. And funny. Yes. Think of all the pranks they could pull off! Duping Jiranor, duping Jiranor's parents, causing a total ruckus... yes, yes.

Next!(Hey wait! I'm getting to the end! This can't be!)
12/19/2004 c24 Kezkay
Makethran. Such a cool name, and yet, such an ass of a character. I wouldn't have been too angry had you killed him off.

Mm'mm, deliciuos description of the brutal destruction of the wooden dummy. Very Kung Fu...ish.

Golems? Hmm, X-files reruns are coming back to haunt me. And they those mud-dolls that given life so that they might kill people? I forget.

12/19/2004 c23 Kezkay
Again, I'm getting the vibe that perhaps this rebirth thing has some evil motives/undertones. Would it destroy all those already lining? Hmm...bad. bad. bad. Must think.

I'm REALLY glad you didn't let Wwanll die. I felt really bad for him. Also, how about a LASTING wake-up call to Jiranor? That'd be nice.

12/19/2004 c22 Kezkay
He! I understood (slightly) what those guys were saying in Gaelic this chapter. So very (slightly) proud of myself. Or not. Quecksilber? mweh.

Cookies...and maggots. Cookies and maggots? How could you! Ruin a perfectly good daydream! Ugh.

So, was this pearl in the water the entrance to the Tomb of the World[s]? Hmm? It must be important. Also, is Iain going to appear later? He's going to die, isn't he? You're going to just kill him off. I know it. EVIL. *hiss*

Hmm, must find out about this truth bearer. Mweh.
12/19/2004 c21 Kezkay
Allellalalal..lala. Hehehe. Hehe. Cheese. The title of the chapter had me pulling a Spock-eyebrow-lift, but I now understand. mm'mm, horsies. And there was quite a lovely comparison between horsebackriding and windriding. Do I sense some personal experience in this matter?

As for my speculations, this mysterious, fifth child... Have you introduced him? I'm trying to remember... If you haven't, I'm betting he's evil or something. And knowing you, you'll have a love...Pentangle. Hehe. Thanks for telling me about that group, btw. I love the Hunting Song.
12/19/2004 c20 Kezkay
Hehe. GREAT chapter. So much excitement! The hunt for the treasure was so descriptive and original! The whole mirror thing had be in awe of your (or should I say Sovay's?) talents.

A teddy bear? The calling card is a teddy bear? Damn. That's just cruel.

Also, I was glad to see some more stuff with Saphra. She seemed to be pushed more into the background to let Sovay take over.

Next chapter!
12/19/2004 c19 Kezkay
Hehehe, I really liked this chapter! You really described that awkward silence in the wake of nothing left to talk about. And yes, I was itching to see when Sovay would come back into the picture of the 5 children. I wanted to smack Saphra on the head. The conversation/description between Saphra and Jiranor was very well written, and great characterization of the two w/ the argument.

The image of Sovay humming to herself and waving her feet around on the bed? Priceless. Hehe.
12/19/2004 c18 Kezkay
Hmm, I am just paranoid or did something sound off about this old guy's tale? Of course, omnipotency is a wonderful thing, and I now understand why the revised version of this is called the Tomb of the World.

This chapter, though it held a lot of information, I think might have been better as not purely dialogue. A little description, or questions from the three might spruce this part up. I guess the style of this chapter just differs so much from your other chapters that it just stood out to me.

Mm'mm, but the whole thing with the five Children and Truthbearers is dang cool. I love the whole ancient civilization plot twist thing. From experience with other fantasy books though, I am wary as to what this old priest says. Is he evil? Slightly?

Hmm, next chapter!
12/19/2004 c17 Kezkay
Y'Omha? For a second there, I swear, I though that said Yo'mama. I was laughing really hard. It was scary. Ah! Finally back to this Makethran character!

I can't quite get over how much I love how "Bonny Sovay" sounds in my head. That is a perfect name.

Hmm, Mishteries. "height of the average gnome?" Like a lawn gnome? Or David the Gnome? That's a small door, hehe. And ah, yes, Sovay had indeed regained her bloodthirsty coolness. I think it's when Sovay asks herself the hypothetical questions that I laugh the most. They seem to fit her very well- "I’ll just have to find a way to…repay her, won’t I?"

Uh! Total Cliff-hanger. You evil, evil person. Next chapter!

(And yeah, I realize your birth-day was YESTERDAY, but presents (no matter how late) rock. Right? Right.)
12/19/2004 c16 Kezkay
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hehe, I guess since I can't quite GIVE you a present, here's some reviews for you :P

Oh my, this chapter had be laughing. Damn, how funny it would be to meet my double. And how very weird...like that movie Hypercube 2. Except, I wouldn't go around eating people. But yes, back to the story!

The first part I like muchly, where Sovay and Saphra first met. Who are you? No! Who are YOU! Hehe. I admit, I expected a little more composure out of Sovay, but your promises of her being cooler in upcoming chapters have consoled me. Where you calling Sovay as Nikelan in previous chapters? I can't quite remember. Eh, next chapter!
11/10/2004 c15 Kezkay
*insert music of enlightenment here* Wow. In that last sentence all the threads of my existence were suddenly pulled together, and I KNOW THE MEANING OF LIFE. Well, not really. But that WAS a really big revelation. I feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. hehe. So, WHEN you gonna post those edited chapters?
7/21/2004 c14 Kezkay
Heh. Saphra reduced to waitressing. Heh. I laugh because I evil. I truly do feel bad when I leave messes for people to clean up, but it is funny when applied to the one called Saphra. Yes, yes, it was VERY dramatic when Tavus suddenly barged in so save her (and hiding in the broom closet? hilarious), but i have to complain about the slight breach of the 4th wall on the explanation of the pistols. In a different kind of story (lst person) it would be exceptable, but I bet you're gonna edit most of this chapter out in Tomb anyways. Also, at first I thought Saphra was going to be like, "screw you" to Tavus when he told her to hide him, but his sincerity/fear came across rather well. And since you have no explanation of what you were talking about at the end...um...that's all for me!
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