for The Quicksilver Medallion6/17/2003 c1 elvenstarglow
Wow. That's confusing but then again aren't all prologues? I think I'll read more later. Great so far!
*elvenstarglow*
Wow. That's confusing but then again aren't all prologues? I think I'll read more later. Great so far!
*elvenstarglow*
6/17/2003 c2 
9charmed03
What is your nationality? Are you a European kid? I mean, your names are so exotic, so foreign. Did you know that professional writers would even PAY just to have names like those? Great job!
9charmed03What is your nationality? Are you a European kid? I mean, your names are so exotic, so foreign. Did you know that professional writers would even PAY just to have names like those? Great job!
6/15/2003 c13 9Magentian
YESS! ^_^ Ahh, awesome! I like him already. He's ...angsty, yes, but not overdone at all. And very easy to identify with, since we've all felt the frustration of failure.
Okay, time for speculation. (Don't ya just love it? ^_^) Now, Thane ... East, I think, has one Child already. I think. I remember reading it somewhere. And, if Makethran is another of the Children... and he follows Jiranor... hmm... is that why Thane North wants to exploit Jiranor for 'something'? So he can catch up with East? Or... mann... getting all these Thane-y people mixed up now. I'm tempted to re-read the story from the beginning, just to better understand it. But I'm not QUITE that desperate.
Not yet, anyway.
But, at any rate, don't worry, your characterization is fine, your story continues to be almost subliminally immersive, and I continue to be completely lost, despite my best efforts to make sense of it all. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the ride, ne? But that makes it all so simple... See ya later! ^_^
9MagentianYESS! ^_^ Ahh, awesome! I like him already. He's ...angsty, yes, but not overdone at all. And very easy to identify with, since we've all felt the frustration of failure.
Okay, time for speculation. (Don't ya just love it? ^_^) Now, Thane ... East, I think, has one Child already. I think. I remember reading it somewhere. And, if Makethran is another of the Children... and he follows Jiranor... hmm... is that why Thane North wants to exploit Jiranor for 'something'? So he can catch up with East? Or... mann... getting all these Thane-y people mixed up now. I'm tempted to re-read the story from the beginning, just to better understand it. But I'm not QUITE that desperate.
Not yet, anyway.
But, at any rate, don't worry, your characterization is fine, your story continues to be almost subliminally immersive, and I continue to be completely lost, despite my best efforts to make sense of it all. Maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the ride, ne? But that makes it all so simple... See ya later! ^_^
6/15/2003 c12 Magentian
Wow! Italy! You suck. LOL ^_^ Muchas gracias for the 'cool person' status, I feel honored, to say the least... ^_^ But, anyway, on to the bit of this that is somewhat story-oriented...
Well! A lot to contemplate, from one little chapter... Despite the fac tthat you don't like it, it did give quite a bit of food for thought... First of all, if Malla's an 'evil Northerner', how could she not be able to read North-writing? did she just move to the north? Secondly, that phrase... 'fast as mercury', caught my attention. It stuck out like a sore thumb... but is it accurate? ^_^ I'll speculate on this a bit...
Sovay has Ashiri! Well, that's a kick in the teeth. Unless Malla was lying, it's pretty surprising that she'd have Ashiri without having mentioned it all this time... after all, when the story opened, she wasn't even a pirate, and that was about the point when Saph's sister went missing, right? Huh. Well, at any rate, it'll be quite interesting to get both of these memorable heroines of yours together... ^_^
Oh, additionally... the guard thingie was cute. ^_^ Provided a nice break from the events Saphra's seeing, which would have dominated the whole chapter otherwise... and, aha! I was right! Saph does like Rusten. Hmm... *mulls this over as well* A lot to think about! At least now I'm not so confused. Off to read the next chapter!
Wow! Italy! You suck. LOL ^_^ Muchas gracias for the 'cool person' status, I feel honored, to say the least... ^_^ But, anyway, on to the bit of this that is somewhat story-oriented...
Well! A lot to contemplate, from one little chapter... Despite the fac tthat you don't like it, it did give quite a bit of food for thought... First of all, if Malla's an 'evil Northerner', how could she not be able to read North-writing? did she just move to the north? Secondly, that phrase... 'fast as mercury', caught my attention. It stuck out like a sore thumb... but is it accurate? ^_^ I'll speculate on this a bit...
Sovay has Ashiri! Well, that's a kick in the teeth. Unless Malla was lying, it's pretty surprising that she'd have Ashiri without having mentioned it all this time... after all, when the story opened, she wasn't even a pirate, and that was about the point when Saph's sister went missing, right? Huh. Well, at any rate, it'll be quite interesting to get both of these memorable heroines of yours together... ^_^
Oh, additionally... the guard thingie was cute. ^_^ Provided a nice break from the events Saphra's seeing, which would have dominated the whole chapter otherwise... and, aha! I was right! Saph does like Rusten. Hmm... *mulls this over as well* A lot to think about! At least now I'm not so confused. Off to read the next chapter!
6/15/2003 c13 3letylyf
uh.. the biggest thing about this is that it comes out of nowhere and you're like, huh? this has nothing to do with anything. and it took me a while to remember who that Jiranor guy was too. so that didn't help any.
as for character development, this is the first chapter we've even heard of the guy, how can you be worrying about development yet? you can only show one side of a character in the first chapter, and that's all you've done so far. ok so he has issues. why? why did the little kid turn into the guy filled with war? and does he really hate things so much ,or is his fury directed at a greater thing, or maybe at himself.. there's so much you leave unansered but this is only his first chapter.. so it doesnt matter yet
3letylyfuh.. the biggest thing about this is that it comes out of nowhere and you're like, huh? this has nothing to do with anything. and it took me a while to remember who that Jiranor guy was too. so that didn't help any.
as for character development, this is the first chapter we've even heard of the guy, how can you be worrying about development yet? you can only show one side of a character in the first chapter, and that's all you've done so far. ok so he has issues. why? why did the little kid turn into the guy filled with war? and does he really hate things so much ,or is his fury directed at a greater thing, or maybe at himself.. there's so much you leave unansered but this is only his first chapter.. so it doesnt matter yet
6/14/2003 c13 19Karma-of-Chaos
'lo again
Actually, your character development is very good. They all have defining qualities (such as sovay's arrogance or saphra's impulsivity). The only thing you could improve on is the minor qualities, their quirks and, more importantly, fears. Saphra seems to have some apparent fears (such as her past), but the others act mostly invincible, although Makethran does show a great amount of self-pity.
It would be very intresting to see Jiranor or Sovay be truly afriad of something. Like spiders. ;) Or maybe something a little more meaningful.
Or perhaps you don't want to do that at all, because you want to make your characters a cut above the rest, seeing as they ARE the five children of...whatever. ^^;; It's your choice, your story, and it's totally up to YOU where you go with it. Best of luck, update soon!
(I hope my rather long review was helpful somehow...)
Keep Writing!
- Karma
19Karma-of-Chaos'lo again
Actually, your character development is very good. They all have defining qualities (such as sovay's arrogance or saphra's impulsivity). The only thing you could improve on is the minor qualities, their quirks and, more importantly, fears. Saphra seems to have some apparent fears (such as her past), but the others act mostly invincible, although Makethran does show a great amount of self-pity.
It would be very intresting to see Jiranor or Sovay be truly afriad of something. Like spiders. ;) Or maybe something a little more meaningful.
Or perhaps you don't want to do that at all, because you want to make your characters a cut above the rest, seeing as they ARE the five children of...whatever. ^^;; It's your choice, your story, and it's totally up to YOU where you go with it. Best of luck, update soon!
(I hope my rather long review was helpful somehow...)
Keep Writing!
- Karma
6/14/2003 c12 wacka dkid
your story is STARTing to get popular? when you hit 100 reviews i think it counts as popular. really popular =).
so saphra actually croaked? ho hum. whats w ashiri too? cant wait to find out.
-krissa
your story is STARTing to get popular? when you hit 100 reviews i think it counts as popular. really popular =).
so saphra actually croaked? ho hum. whats w ashiri too? cant wait to find out.
-krissa
6/14/2003 c12 4Plateado
The story is definately getting interesting! And yes, summer holiday is a wonderful thing. Talk to ya later! (so for such a short review!)
-Riley
4PlateadoThe story is definately getting interesting! And yes, summer holiday is a wonderful thing. Talk to ya later! (so for such a short review!)
-Riley
6/13/2003 c10 6Belle the Shadow-Cat
Confusing? Hmm . .. maybe a little no and again. But if i get lost i just re-read it. (that's the reason why i don't review as frequently sometimes. I like to keep up with everything.) Forgive me. Your welcome bytheway. It's really a good story. And i'm looking foward to this surprise. ANd you know what . . . after my many readings i think that there's something between Sovey and Saphra . . . the seem so alike sometimes . . . . wait a minute ! i'm getting strange ideas . . . maybe there's more to those two then meets the eye. I wonder . ..
anyway i'm going to re-read again and see if i can find some connections . . .hm...
'Till next time Belle the Shadow-Cat
6Belle the Shadow-CatConfusing? Hmm . .. maybe a little no and again. But if i get lost i just re-read it. (that's the reason why i don't review as frequently sometimes. I like to keep up with everything.) Forgive me. Your welcome bytheway. It's really a good story. And i'm looking foward to this surprise. ANd you know what . . . after my many readings i think that there's something between Sovey and Saphra . . . the seem so alike sometimes . . . . wait a minute ! i'm getting strange ideas . . . maybe there's more to those two then meets the eye. I wonder . ..
anyway i'm going to re-read again and see if i can find some connections . . .hm...
'Till next time Belle the Shadow-Cat
6/13/2003 c9 Belle the Shadow-Cat
I'm back! Ahh yes your brother helped you. LOL. well it was very realistic and very well done. And yes i can relate. . . @_@ and it's a scary thought too. I love this. And i must say it again but . . .mutiny is fun! whahah that is still my fav chapter.
-Belle
I'm back! Ahh yes your brother helped you. LOL. well it was very realistic and very well done. And yes i can relate. . . @_@ and it's a scary thought too. I love this. And i must say it again but . . .mutiny is fun! whahah that is still my fav chapter.
-Belle
6/13/2003 c5 Mallory
Very good! Great! reading on...
Very good! Great! reading on...
6/13/2003 c4 Mallory
Hmm, very nice. reading on...
Hmm, very nice. reading on...
6/13/2003 c12 3letylyf
er.. stop posting them so fast! I can barely keep up. pleease give us a little break here.
I didn't think this chapter was terrible. The whole Saphra philosophizing (is that even a word) all the time is weird, why would she care at the oddest moments to ask "why can't the two thanes be at peace" *rolls eyes a bit*
but, hehheh, other than that, it's a good chapter.
I noticed you updated your summary. If you really intend to read some of my stories, allow me to steer you clear of the ones on this site; go to fanfiction.net because all my original work sucks. thanks.
3letylyfer.. stop posting them so fast! I can barely keep up. pleease give us a little break here.
I didn't think this chapter was terrible. The whole Saphra philosophizing (is that even a word) all the time is weird, why would she care at the oddest moments to ask "why can't the two thanes be at peace" *rolls eyes a bit*
but, hehheh, other than that, it's a good chapter.
I noticed you updated your summary. If you really intend to read some of my stories, allow me to steer you clear of the ones on this site; go to fanfiction.net because all my original work sucks. thanks.