for The Quicksilver Medallion8/15/2003 c23 
9Magentian
*feels a sudden, urgent need to scream*
DAMN IT! AH!
Why are there so many little hints here? Who are the traitors? Why must the children kill them? Why does the Benevolent Patriarch support revenge? What...? *screams a little more, to relieve her frustration* Scotia, you're as big a tease as Sovay, and that's the Godawful truth! lol
*whew* okay, I'm done. Jiranor's guilt was nice to see in this case, though I'm pretty unsure how it came about, he had a nice thought process throughout the whole thing... well, I suppose Jir hasn't seen a lot of coma-tized people, being a noble and all, but still, that was no reason to blame himself... it's not as though he can help who he is... enh, whatever, who am I to say? It was still good. ^_^ Actually reminded me of Liam, a bit. (when're you gonna come back and see my new chapters? I miss your reviews! So in-depth! ^_^ of course, you're busy, so I shouldn't be complaining...)
*watches cats, who are rolling a potato across the floor, and thinks of what to put next*
So... all is not certain for the future of these Children... even once they find all of their Truthbearers, and once they all get together, all will not be smiles and cream pie... *claps hands excitedly* this is delightful! Like S.P., I like the idea of a dark future awaiting the 'chosen ones'... well, uncertain, at any rate. Being a Child might not be all it's cracked up to be... after all, every role has its drawbacks... *snickers* I can't wait to see what you're brainstorming! Write fast!
9Magentian*feels a sudden, urgent need to scream*
DAMN IT! AH!
Why are there so many little hints here? Who are the traitors? Why must the children kill them? Why does the Benevolent Patriarch support revenge? What...? *screams a little more, to relieve her frustration* Scotia, you're as big a tease as Sovay, and that's the Godawful truth! lol
*whew* okay, I'm done. Jiranor's guilt was nice to see in this case, though I'm pretty unsure how it came about, he had a nice thought process throughout the whole thing... well, I suppose Jir hasn't seen a lot of coma-tized people, being a noble and all, but still, that was no reason to blame himself... it's not as though he can help who he is... enh, whatever, who am I to say? It was still good. ^_^ Actually reminded me of Liam, a bit. (when're you gonna come back and see my new chapters? I miss your reviews! So in-depth! ^_^ of course, you're busy, so I shouldn't be complaining...)
*watches cats, who are rolling a potato across the floor, and thinks of what to put next*
So... all is not certain for the future of these Children... even once they find all of their Truthbearers, and once they all get together, all will not be smiles and cream pie... *claps hands excitedly* this is delightful! Like S.P., I like the idea of a dark future awaiting the 'chosen ones'... well, uncertain, at any rate. Being a Child might not be all it's cracked up to be... after all, every role has its drawbacks... *snickers* I can't wait to see what you're brainstorming! Write fast!
8/15/2003 c23 7ONEthousandWORDs
this tis a lovely chapter! I like it when the chara's have a dark future looming ahead of them... will they managhe to make it through the story and still remain good guys? (or in Sovay's case, bad guys...)
7ONEthousandWORDsthis tis a lovely chapter! I like it when the chara's have a dark future looming ahead of them... will they managhe to make it through the story and still remain good guys? (or in Sovay's case, bad guys...)
8/14/2003 c5 16RuathaWehrling
Hmm... Ok, so I apparently already reviewed some of your story. Oh well. It's been a while! Sorry!
:) I'm amused about the attempted highway robbery. Very cute. Uilm's humiliation is perfect!
"He disappeared across the mists" How do you go ACROSS a mist? How about "into the mists" instead?
"Then she was just angry at the crowd in general" :) This fits her personality wonderfully!
:) Good to see Sovay's willing to give the captian and other sailors a chance! But, again, it fits her personality perfectly.
Anyways, I'm going to bed now, so thanks for the story! Bye!
16RuathaWehrlingHmm... Ok, so I apparently already reviewed some of your story. Oh well. It's been a while! Sorry!
:) I'm amused about the attempted highway robbery. Very cute. Uilm's humiliation is perfect!
"He disappeared across the mists" How do you go ACROSS a mist? How about "into the mists" instead?
"Then she was just angry at the crowd in general" :) This fits her personality wonderfully!
:) Good to see Sovay's willing to give the captian and other sailors a chance! But, again, it fits her personality perfectly.
Anyways, I'm going to bed now, so thanks for the story! Bye!
8/14/2003 c3 RuathaWehrling
Wouldn't the Academy have something/somebody at Orbis Victoriae to tell them who won?
"It was then that Saphra decided to leave the academy..." Haven't you been capitalizing Academy?
Wouldn't she consider asking anyone for help? Or telling anyone where she was going? I think you should at least give her a reason not to!
Also, wouldn't she more thoroughly question the shop keeper as to how he knows that her givensister is gone? I would!
Thats all for now! :) Thanks again.
Wouldn't the Academy have something/somebody at Orbis Victoriae to tell them who won?
"It was then that Saphra decided to leave the academy..." Haven't you been capitalizing Academy?
Wouldn't she consider asking anyone for help? Or telling anyone where she was going? I think you should at least give her a reason not to!
Also, wouldn't she more thoroughly question the shop keeper as to how he knows that her givensister is gone? I would!
Thats all for now! :) Thanks again.
8/14/2003 c2 RuathaWehrling
Hey! I started reading this a LONG time ago, at work, but I found it again today and finished the chapter. I still like it and am interested to see where it's going. The Windriders idea is really cool. (A lot of people think wings like that would be fun to use on Mars, or something. Anyways.) Also, let me compliment you on your grammar! :) I'm usually a real stickler, so the fact that I didn't feel required to comment or correct it is high praise! On to the next chapter now, I think. Thanks!
Hey! I started reading this a LONG time ago, at work, but I found it again today and finished the chapter. I still like it and am interested to see where it's going. The Windriders idea is really cool. (A lot of people think wings like that would be fun to use on Mars, or something. Anyways.) Also, let me compliment you on your grammar! :) I'm usually a real stickler, so the fact that I didn't feel required to comment or correct it is high praise! On to the next chapter now, I think. Thanks!
8/14/2003 c23 Rachel
fwe! i loved it :D.
don't worry, it's nowhere near the same thing. if it'd ease your mind i could send you what i have. and i drew as best i could what one of my characters might have looked like flying, if you'd like to see that as well. there's nothing the same at all, except the term flightwings and the name WindRyders, though the spelling's different. if you really wanted me to, i'd change that.
sorry if i made you think i was copying or something :\.
fwe! i loved it :D.
don't worry, it's nowhere near the same thing. if it'd ease your mind i could send you what i have. and i drew as best i could what one of my characters might have looked like flying, if you'd like to see that as well. there's nothing the same at all, except the term flightwings and the name WindRyders, though the spelling's different. if you really wanted me to, i'd change that.
sorry if i made you think i was copying or something :\.
8/13/2003 c5 8Kezkay
HAHAHAH! this chapter was so FUN! I LOVE Sovay's character! You have written it perfectly, just WHO she is. Starting anew, challenges, ...MUTINY! This will be GREAT, i know it!
Still laughing, -Kez
8KezkayHAHAHAH! this chapter was so FUN! I LOVE Sovay's character! You have written it perfectly, just WHO she is. Starting anew, challenges, ...MUTINY! This will be GREAT, i know it!
Still laughing, -Kez
8/11/2003 c22 The Highwaywoman
nice chappie :) when i read the part about the rum it made me smile... cuz i was thinking of captain jack sparrow... anyway... i love jiranor. i don't know why. please write more soon :)
nice chappie :) when i read the part about the rum it made me smile... cuz i was thinking of captain jack sparrow... anyway... i love jiranor. i don't know why. please write more soon :)
8/11/2003 c22 19Karma-of-Chaos
Yay! Another chapter! But..I'm so tired...I can't give it the praise it deserves...gomen nasai.
das is the neutral term of 'the' die is feminine and der is masculine. So yes, at least that part is right, unless you wanted your story to be in feminine or masculine terms. As for the rest, I just started German, I'll tell you in a couple months whether it's right or not. ^.~
And now, I feel like death ran me over with a jellybean cart, so chusie!
(chusie = chuse = goodbye )
Keep Writing!
- K.
19Karma-of-ChaosYay! Another chapter! But..I'm so tired...I can't give it the praise it deserves...gomen nasai.
das is the neutral term of 'the' die is feminine and der is masculine. So yes, at least that part is right, unless you wanted your story to be in feminine or masculine terms. As for the rest, I just started German, I'll tell you in a couple months whether it's right or not. ^.~
And now, I feel like death ran me over with a jellybean cart, so chusie!
(chusie = chuse = goodbye )
Keep Writing!
- K.
8/11/2003 c22 Rachel
all right! muahaha! i'm really going to have to catch up on these languages and nautical terms though o.0. lol. i really like all of the cultural differences and the use of multiple languages :D.
and a while back, i was inspired to draw a Wind Rider of your story. it's not exactly how i pictured them [the wings should be different...]...and now that the story's progressed, i've gotten a better picture of what they look like, so i should probably try to draw another better one :). i also had a dream where there were WindRyders instead of Wind Riders and i've continued it into the beginning of a story [don't worry, there's nothing similar at all o.0].
talk about an influential story rofl...
all right! muahaha! i'm really going to have to catch up on these languages and nautical terms though o.0. lol. i really like all of the cultural differences and the use of multiple languages :D.
and a while back, i was inspired to draw a Wind Rider of your story. it's not exactly how i pictured them [the wings should be different...]...and now that the story's progressed, i've gotten a better picture of what they look like, so i should probably try to draw another better one :). i also had a dream where there were WindRyders instead of Wind Riders and i've continued it into the beginning of a story [don't worry, there's nothing similar at all o.0].
talk about an influential story rofl...
8/11/2003 c22 9Magentian
W00t? A floating sphere...? Now, where'd THAT come from? *thinks of Skosh's online hints* oh, so that's the organization. All right.
'Tis a disappointment that no more went on between Jir and Saph... But, you did forewarn us about that, after all. The different languages were a nice addition (I'm tempted to say, "Makes things so nice and cultural!"), although I would hate to try to pronounce "Wys fallanyw awwas bwo..." lol
Didn't you give a hint before that Tollin was plotting revolt or something? Then again, I seem to remember hearing something about Sovay asking Kym to dinner, too. Perhaps you translated those bits while we were slamming the Babelfish... ^_^ Fun! And I still haven't given up on the complete retransed version of HOH... Teeheehe...
...? Where did the angry chickens go? Oh, there they are. Grumpy chickens! Angry cows! Perhaps there is no Tollin revolt. Perhaps the LIVESTOCK are plotting against us all! A...
Tehehe, do not mind me, I was forced to awaken too early today and have not had any coffee, as I don't know how to make it, and as I think it tastes like chalk. Thus, I am just a tiny bit loopy. And elated! New chapters are always great! This one would have been better if it were a bit less of a bridge-chapter and a bit more of your standard exciting-things-happening, but bridges are understandable, and I have them, so I will shut my mouth. Rest assured, this chappy was more than sufficient to provide my weekly-or-so QM fix.
I am now going to put this review out of its misery, as it is long. Far too long. Hasta luego!
9MagentianW00t? A floating sphere...? Now, where'd THAT come from? *thinks of Skosh's online hints* oh, so that's the organization. All right.
'Tis a disappointment that no more went on between Jir and Saph... But, you did forewarn us about that, after all. The different languages were a nice addition (I'm tempted to say, "Makes things so nice and cultural!"), although I would hate to try to pronounce "Wys fallanyw awwas bwo..." lol
Didn't you give a hint before that Tollin was plotting revolt or something? Then again, I seem to remember hearing something about Sovay asking Kym to dinner, too. Perhaps you translated those bits while we were slamming the Babelfish... ^_^ Fun! And I still haven't given up on the complete retransed version of HOH... Teeheehe...
...? Where did the angry chickens go? Oh, there they are. Grumpy chickens! Angry cows! Perhaps there is no Tollin revolt. Perhaps the LIVESTOCK are plotting against us all! A...
Tehehe, do not mind me, I was forced to awaken too early today and have not had any coffee, as I don't know how to make it, and as I think it tastes like chalk. Thus, I am just a tiny bit loopy. And elated! New chapters are always great! This one would have been better if it were a bit less of a bridge-chapter and a bit more of your standard exciting-things-happening, but bridges are understandable, and I have them, so I will shut my mouth. Rest assured, this chappy was more than sufficient to provide my weekly-or-so QM fix.
I am now going to put this review out of its misery, as it is long. Far too long. Hasta luego!
8/11/2003 c22 Aeitul
I think I finally know what to make of Jiranor: I don't like him. At least, not really. I don't hate him, but he does get on my nerves a bit. I can't really explain why I don't like him or why he gets on my nerves. I just do and he just does.
Okay, first of all, the good: you handled the breaking up of the scenes well and the introduction of this Iain was well-done. It gave us a brief teaser of who he is without really revealing too much. I do have an idea of who he is, but I won't make any assumptions. You know what happens when you assume.
And now for the... okay, so bad's not really the right word. Whatever you want to call it, here it is: Sovay seems a little too perfect. I realize that she's an intelligent young woman, but she seems to be able to figure just about everything out rather quickly. Unless you intend for her to be a genius, it doesn't seem realistic. Umm... I'm not sure what to suggest to improve upon this, though. Gah.
Sleep is starting to take over, so I'll end this review now. Well, one last thing... Take your time in updating (better for it to have quality than to be quick), but update as soon as you are able!
I think I finally know what to make of Jiranor: I don't like him. At least, not really. I don't hate him, but he does get on my nerves a bit. I can't really explain why I don't like him or why he gets on my nerves. I just do and he just does.
Okay, first of all, the good: you handled the breaking up of the scenes well and the introduction of this Iain was well-done. It gave us a brief teaser of who he is without really revealing too much. I do have an idea of who he is, but I won't make any assumptions. You know what happens when you assume.
And now for the... okay, so bad's not really the right word. Whatever you want to call it, here it is: Sovay seems a little too perfect. I realize that she's an intelligent young woman, but she seems to be able to figure just about everything out rather quickly. Unless you intend for her to be a genius, it doesn't seem realistic. Umm... I'm not sure what to suggest to improve upon this, though. Gah.
Sleep is starting to take over, so I'll end this review now. Well, one last thing... Take your time in updating (better for it to have quality than to be quick), but update as soon as you are able!
8/11/2003 c21 Aeitul
...Interesting chapter. Very interesting.
I liked the description of Allela right at the beginning. It earned a small giggle from me. And Saphra seemed to be having some intuition about Allela. There's something suspicious about that lady. Perhaps she's some sort of magician/sorceress/enchantress/something like that.
I do have one tiny gripe, though. I'm not really sure that the term fiancee is appropriate. Perhaps bride (or husband)-to-be? Or even betrothed. Fiancee (or fiance) just seems... out of place.
Oh yes, there's something that I thought of! Upon thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure that Saphra is one of the Children. I know that the old man said that she was, but one of them is possibly a doppelganger of the other. Perhaps the old man got Saphra confused for Sovay? Or something like that. I need to think it out a little more.
...Interesting chapter. Very interesting.
I liked the description of Allela right at the beginning. It earned a small giggle from me. And Saphra seemed to be having some intuition about Allela. There's something suspicious about that lady. Perhaps she's some sort of magician/sorceress/enchantress/something like that.
I do have one tiny gripe, though. I'm not really sure that the term fiancee is appropriate. Perhaps bride (or husband)-to-be? Or even betrothed. Fiancee (or fiance) just seems... out of place.
Oh yes, there's something that I thought of! Upon thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure that Saphra is one of the Children. I know that the old man said that she was, but one of them is possibly a doppelganger of the other. Perhaps the old man got Saphra confused for Sovay? Or something like that. I need to think it out a little more.
8/10/2003 c22 3letylyf
oh! Sovay was awesome! Go pirates :D *jumps around all excited because she just got back from seeing PotC for the upteenth time*.
No, in all seriousness, that was a wonderful passage with Sovay. I must've read it three times before I finally decided I should move on.
Jiranor bothers me. It seems to me that he only acts humble because he knows Saphra would hate him otherwise. The whole scene with the Emperor? Seems to me to support my little theory here. Oh, and his superficial loving of his fiancee's beauty? Yeah, so humble *sarcasm*. I think he likes the attention (mostly) but wants Saphra to like him as well. Oh, and especially that conversation about "barbarians" - stuck up nature coming to the surface there. 'You don't worship me? You're a barbarian!'
If you don't mean to make him like that, or maybe make him a little more likeable, make him a bit more Harry-ish (as in harry potter, in case that wasn't obvious). He could get angry sometimes. Scorn his parents, fiancee. Chuck a few things about and sulk a while. Really, that'd make me like him quite a bit more.
Um, hope that wasn't too harsh. Really, your characterization is awesome. This is an awesome story, I like the use of varied languages and such. Interested about this pearl thing.. (haha is the pearl black? *god I'm on a PotC overdose*)
*pouts* You still haven't reviewed any of my stories.. next time you're on AIM I'm going to attack you about that, just giving you fair warning *is review-starved* (lol.. kidding)
Oh yes. And everyone should definitely read the Cepheid Queen! It's every bit as good as this fic :)
3letylyfoh! Sovay was awesome! Go pirates :D *jumps around all excited because she just got back from seeing PotC for the upteenth time*.
No, in all seriousness, that was a wonderful passage with Sovay. I must've read it three times before I finally decided I should move on.
Jiranor bothers me. It seems to me that he only acts humble because he knows Saphra would hate him otherwise. The whole scene with the Emperor? Seems to me to support my little theory here. Oh, and his superficial loving of his fiancee's beauty? Yeah, so humble *sarcasm*. I think he likes the attention (mostly) but wants Saphra to like him as well. Oh, and especially that conversation about "barbarians" - stuck up nature coming to the surface there. 'You don't worship me? You're a barbarian!'
If you don't mean to make him like that, or maybe make him a little more likeable, make him a bit more Harry-ish (as in harry potter, in case that wasn't obvious). He could get angry sometimes. Scorn his parents, fiancee. Chuck a few things about and sulk a while. Really, that'd make me like him quite a bit more.
Um, hope that wasn't too harsh. Really, your characterization is awesome. This is an awesome story, I like the use of varied languages and such. Interested about this pearl thing.. (haha is the pearl black? *god I'm on a PotC overdose*)
*pouts* You still haven't reviewed any of my stories.. next time you're on AIM I'm going to attack you about that, just giving you fair warning *is review-starved* (lol.. kidding)
Oh yes. And everyone should definitely read the Cepheid Queen! It's every bit as good as this fic :)