
5/30/2003 c8
2LazeyWinde
Hm, I thought I reviewed already...
Heh, and I'm up later than I should be.
I liked Scout's reaction to Dravidan, "Yikes!" you don't see that expression much these days.
And. Uh.. It was good.
*Staggers off coughing from cold*

Hm, I thought I reviewed already...
Heh, and I'm up later than I should be.
I liked Scout's reaction to Dravidan, "Yikes!" you don't see that expression much these days.
And. Uh.. It was good.
*Staggers off coughing from cold*
5/30/2003 c7
15La Bella Caracol
Cool! Artemis seems a little uppity...no offense meant, of course. This is really good! I can't wait to skip off and read the next chapter!
-Riana Rogue
Oh! I keep forgetting to give this to you: "Friends must stay together in the dangerous forest," spoken by the gypsy grandmother in "The 10th Kingdom." It also makes an appearance in AniMagi :P

Cool! Artemis seems a little uppity...no offense meant, of course. This is really good! I can't wait to skip off and read the next chapter!
-Riana Rogue
Oh! I keep forgetting to give this to you: "Friends must stay together in the dangerous forest," spoken by the gypsy grandmother in "The 10th Kingdom." It also makes an appearance in AniMagi :P
5/30/2003 c6 La Bella Caracol
Dun-dun-dun! I can't wait to read the next chapter! I would've kept on going 'cept I wanted to post this: On ffn my penname is the same one as on here, Riana Rogue, and the story is just Dragon Heart: A New Hope. :P That could make a difference lol. I have 12 chapters of AniMagi on my comp but I'm putting them up here one at a time. I have this one part I don't like so I have to take that out. I'm going to write more but probably nothing substancial until my school lets out. :(
-Riana Rogue
Dun-dun-dun! I can't wait to read the next chapter! I would've kept on going 'cept I wanted to post this: On ffn my penname is the same one as on here, Riana Rogue, and the story is just Dragon Heart: A New Hope. :P That could make a difference lol. I have 12 chapters of AniMagi on my comp but I'm putting them up here one at a time. I have this one part I don't like so I have to take that out. I'm going to write more but probably nothing substancial until my school lets out. :(
-Riana Rogue
5/30/2003 c8
17Hawk Firelander
Yay! Since my last review was all constructive criticism, in this one I'll tell you how much I like the story! I can't wait for the next chapter, which is a change from most originals I've read! Dravadian is my favorite character! He is very cool! I think I smell dinner though so I'll end this review and go eat!

Yay! Since my last review was all constructive criticism, in this one I'll tell you how much I like the story! I can't wait for the next chapter, which is a change from most originals I've read! Dravadian is my favorite character! He is very cool! I think I smell dinner though so I'll end this review and go eat!
5/30/2003 c4 Hawk Firelander
Ok, constructive criticism, right? Well, for one thing, could you please describe the places around them more? Like, I think they're walking through a forest, but then there's a cave! Is it in a cliff wall or just a bunch of rocks or a hole sticking up out of the ground? And make it more clear who is talking. It is sometimes alright not to put who is talking but you have 7 characters and, excepting the cerberus, its hard to identify which is which. That's something else I'd like to mention, the characters don't have much personality. Could you spend more time developing them? Lastly, the plot is pretty obvious and not too creative, which doesn't matter if you have good charaters and lots of twists and that sort of thing. Firstly, obvioulsy Cytosince wants revenge, but she is going to learn that revenge isn't so great. Then with the Prophecy it's obvioulsy about to come true, Cytosine being the Moon person and Dravidian being the Sun person. Be a bit more discreet important things like that, and you made it obvious that the sun on Dravidian's leg was important when Cytosine decided to dismiss it as nothing. Despite all this not so nice sayings, this is a very good story so far! It's held my interest longer then some and I like from what I've seen of them, the characters. It seems like its going to be a good, long adventure, and if you can do it, I'm sure this will be a very good story.
Ok, constructive criticism, right? Well, for one thing, could you please describe the places around them more? Like, I think they're walking through a forest, but then there's a cave! Is it in a cliff wall or just a bunch of rocks or a hole sticking up out of the ground? And make it more clear who is talking. It is sometimes alright not to put who is talking but you have 7 characters and, excepting the cerberus, its hard to identify which is which. That's something else I'd like to mention, the characters don't have much personality. Could you spend more time developing them? Lastly, the plot is pretty obvious and not too creative, which doesn't matter if you have good charaters and lots of twists and that sort of thing. Firstly, obvioulsy Cytosince wants revenge, but she is going to learn that revenge isn't so great. Then with the Prophecy it's obvioulsy about to come true, Cytosine being the Moon person and Dravidian being the Sun person. Be a bit more discreet important things like that, and you made it obvious that the sun on Dravidian's leg was important when Cytosine decided to dismiss it as nothing. Despite all this not so nice sayings, this is a very good story so far! It's held my interest longer then some and I like from what I've seen of them, the characters. It seems like its going to be a good, long adventure, and if you can do it, I'm sure this will be a very good story.
5/30/2003 c8
30Silverfire Starr
I love the Cerberus! They're so cool! srry, I'm obsessed. But anyways, GREAT JOB!
Keep writing!

I love the Cerberus! They're so cool! srry, I'm obsessed. But anyways, GREAT JOB!
Keep writing!
5/30/2003 c2
7Wings of Dark
I caught a couple formatting and grammar problems. It seems almost too predictable. I don't know, there's something missing here. I can't put my finger on it.
When I do, I'll post again

I caught a couple formatting and grammar problems. It seems almost too predictable. I don't know, there's something missing here. I can't put my finger on it.
When I do, I'll post again
5/29/2003 c4
15La Bella Caracol
Awesome! I love how this story is coming along. The prophecy on the wall just made me want to shake Flame! WAKE UP! It's about-well I guess I shouldn't say in case someone doesn't know :P
-Riana Rogue
P.S. Thanks for your reviews! It is MUCH appreciated! And you're right; one review CAN make an author's day! (but then those darn things get addicting and you just want one more, and then only one more :P)

Awesome! I love how this story is coming along. The prophecy on the wall just made me want to shake Flame! WAKE UP! It's about-well I guess I shouldn't say in case someone doesn't know :P
-Riana Rogue
P.S. Thanks for your reviews! It is MUCH appreciated! And you're right; one review CAN make an author's day! (but then those darn things get addicting and you just want one more, and then only one more :P)
5/29/2003 c3
13Megumi Momoi
This was a good chappy *shakes head in a nod* ^_~ hows that? lol So these was seriously good! SEE YA~

This was a good chappy *shakes head in a nod* ^_~ hows that? lol So these was seriously good! SEE YA~
5/29/2003 c4
30Silverfire Starr
I LOVE this story! This is very well written and I love Luna and Silver!
WIll read more soon.

I LOVE this story! This is very well written and I love Luna and Silver!
WIll read more soon.
5/29/2003 c2
13Megumi Momoi
*laughing histericly* Luna is adorable. I am glad you put good dragons on here, thanks. Um I dont know if you care but my Dragon specifcally is Kunes. Anyway this absolutly greet. i am going to put you on my fav's! This really cool, and I hope to have cats and elves and man and dwarves and hobbits in my story, only they will be called the little people. *laughs histerically again* this story is funny. Skip like, I love Luna! Silver is very cool and Dravidian is a sweet dragon. (no slang intended) Anyway enough of my mouth I got to read! C ya!

*laughing histericly* Luna is adorable. I am glad you put good dragons on here, thanks. Um I dont know if you care but my Dragon specifcally is Kunes. Anyway this absolutly greet. i am going to put you on my fav's! This really cool, and I hope to have cats and elves and man and dwarves and hobbits in my story, only they will be called the little people. *laughs histerically again* this story is funny. Skip like, I love Luna! Silver is very cool and Dravidian is a sweet dragon. (no slang intended) Anyway enough of my mouth I got to read! C ya!
5/29/2003 c1 Megumi Momoi
This was really cool! OMG! WHAT HAPPENS TO LUNA AND SILVER! GOT 2 GO GOT TO FIND OUT! C Ya! Great Job!
This was really cool! OMG! WHAT HAPPENS TO LUNA AND SILVER! GOT 2 GO GOT TO FIND OUT! C Ya! Great Job!
5/29/2003 c1
7Wings of Dark
You introduce a lot of ideas in a short amount of time, and that's a good thing. You have everything you need in the first chapter, a motive, a well-established pro-antagonist, sidekicks/friends, and an interesting setting. Just be careful of syntax and mechanical errors in your piece.
Elisabeth

You introduce a lot of ideas in a short amount of time, and that's a good thing. You have everything you need in the first chapter, a motive, a well-established pro-antagonist, sidekicks/friends, and an interesting setting. Just be careful of syntax and mechanical errors in your piece.
Elisabeth
5/28/2003 c8 Wildmage42
This is excellent. I never really read very much stuff on fictionpress until I posted my story (thanks for reviewing, by the way.) I can't wait to hear the end!
BTW, my favorite character is Cerberus, probably Blaze.
This is excellent. I never really read very much stuff on fictionpress until I posted my story (thanks for reviewing, by the way.) I can't wait to hear the end!
BTW, my favorite character is Cerberus, probably Blaze.
5/28/2003 c4 Wildmage42
Yeah, I also like Redwall, and I thought I had heard that name somewhere. Slagar's alias, right?
I love the Cerberus's accent! Scottish is one of my favorite accents, along with Indian and Brooklyn. Very nice.
Yeah, I also like Redwall, and I thought I had heard that name somewhere. Slagar's alias, right?
I love the Cerberus's accent! Scottish is one of my favorite accents, along with Indian and Brooklyn. Very nice.