for A Simple Twist Of Fate9/10/2003 c13 Fate Thirteen
Reviewing as I go...
Last chapter? NO! *screams*
Hmm, when Dravidian's explaining about Dragon's Keep he calls it Dragon's Keep a LOT. You could probably use some pronouns in there instead to save on the brain overload.
OOh, Dravidian's being all princely! How groovy!
The 'Why should it matter?' thing - maybe you need to stress the repetition, because it looks like you just typed it twice... I like Dravidian when he's being assertive! He's such a hero!
A brother! Oh my god... *faints* I don't know who to sympathise with! Dravidar has a point... I think, so far.
'jumping to conclusions like a frog' - HEEHEE! That made me laugh, so much!
Aw, oh god *cries* Cytosine and Dravidian are so... noble and good! All forgiving and wonderful!
It's all OVER! (apart from the Epilogue) I hope there's a nice reunion in the epilogue. I'm a bit jealous. You write happy stories with profound points made, and I write sad stories. And you write them well. Curse you.
Hooray for Spirit Guardians! And I love this story, I'm very sad that it's ended... but it must all end at one point, and this is a good point to leave it.
Did you say something about a sequel? *waves arms in the air in excitement* HOORAY!
Reviewing as I go...
Last chapter? NO! *screams*
Hmm, when Dravidian's explaining about Dragon's Keep he calls it Dragon's Keep a LOT. You could probably use some pronouns in there instead to save on the brain overload.
OOh, Dravidian's being all princely! How groovy!
The 'Why should it matter?' thing - maybe you need to stress the repetition, because it looks like you just typed it twice... I like Dravidian when he's being assertive! He's such a hero!
A brother! Oh my god... *faints* I don't know who to sympathise with! Dravidar has a point... I think, so far.
'jumping to conclusions like a frog' - HEEHEE! That made me laugh, so much!
Aw, oh god *cries* Cytosine and Dravidian are so... noble and good! All forgiving and wonderful!
It's all OVER! (apart from the Epilogue) I hope there's a nice reunion in the epilogue. I'm a bit jealous. You write happy stories with profound points made, and I write sad stories. And you write them well. Curse you.
Hooray for Spirit Guardians! And I love this story, I'm very sad that it's ended... but it must all end at one point, and this is a good point to leave it.
Did you say something about a sequel? *waves arms in the air in excitement* HOORAY!
9/9/2003 c3 
7Fans'R Us
There! I read another chapter. I'm really bad about it, so I'll try my best to finish this. This seems fine to me, (I never read it un-revised) and well oriented. You did fine job of character development, and I can get a good image of their personalities.
If you check out my second fic like Digi did, I'd appreciate that, but maybe you're just too busy...
7Fans'R UsThere! I read another chapter. I'm really bad about it, so I'll try my best to finish this. This seems fine to me, (I never read it un-revised) and well oriented. You did fine job of character development, and I can get a good image of their personalities.
If you check out my second fic like Digi did, I'd appreciate that, but maybe you're just too busy...
9/8/2003 c1 8Sanderek
Hey, i decided I'd read this story, and the first chapter is really good! When i have the time, I'll read a few more. Keep up the good work! ... and don't read the story that I have up right now... it wasn't meant to be a story, LOL.
Later
8SanderekHey, i decided I'd read this story, and the first chapter is really good! When i have the time, I'll read a few more. Keep up the good work! ... and don't read the story that I have up right now... it wasn't meant to be a story, LOL.
Later
9/6/2003 c11 8Kezkay
well, I did it, finally. I got to your next chapter, whe~! Anyway, so Dravidian had a lot to do with the slaughter of Cytosine's family, eh? hmm. *stews the knowledge around in her brain a little* I shall think on what this means. I am really curious as to what Davidar is like and to WHY he hates "the golden ones." -Kez
8Kezkaywell, I did it, finally. I got to your next chapter, whe~! Anyway, so Dravidian had a lot to do with the slaughter of Cytosine's family, eh? hmm. *stews the knowledge around in her brain a little* I shall think on what this means. I am really curious as to what Davidar is like and to WHY he hates "the golden ones." -Kez
8/27/2003 c10 Kezkay
I saw that fan pic on your website, haha! it was awesome! Complements to the artist! Anyway I LOVED how you described Dravidian as he came to Cytosine's rescue in the cave! The fight was awesome! Maybe you might want to find some synonyms for "leader" though? When draggy was flinging him around it got just a little repetitive. -Kez
I saw that fan pic on your website, haha! it was awesome! Complements to the artist! Anyway I LOVED how you described Dravidian as he came to Cytosine's rescue in the cave! The fight was awesome! Maybe you might want to find some synonyms for "leader" though? When draggy was flinging him around it got just a little repetitive. -Kez
8/21/2003 c12 2Kayasuri-n
*smirks* nice. No wonder I'm so happy you're my beta reader. You just fix my stories up and they sound/look ten times better.
Very nice. Um, how did the silver fang get there in the first place, and what's with Dravidar? He didn't go save his son? yuck!
2Kayasuri-n*smirks* nice. No wonder I'm so happy you're my beta reader. You just fix my stories up and they sound/look ten times better.
Very nice. Um, how did the silver fang get there in the first place, and what's with Dravidar? He didn't go save his son? yuck!
8/20/2003 c7 6Blond Phoenix
Cool, Artimis is interesting. I think I might like him the best. he's sort of funny with the sir thing. I guess i better hurry up and read the rest of your story before school starts. see ya soon.
6Blond PhoenixCool, Artimis is interesting. I think I might like him the best. he's sort of funny with the sir thing. I guess i better hurry up and read the rest of your story before school starts. see ya soon.
8/19/2003 c6 Blond Phoenix
Cliffhanger. Fun! I guess I will have to read the next chapter now. See ya later.
Cliffhanger. Fun! I guess I will have to read the next chapter now. See ya later.
8/18/2003 c4 Blond Phoenix
You scared me for a minute there. I thought that the three headed dog was going to do something to them, and I noticed about the sun and moon thing on the wall you know. Dravidian has the sun on his paw and Cytosine has the moon on her paw and I feel forshadowing here. cool.
You scared me for a minute there. I thought that the three headed dog was going to do something to them, and I noticed about the sun and moon thing on the wall you know. Dravidian has the sun on his paw and Cytosine has the moon on her paw and I feel forshadowing here. cool.
8/18/2003 c3 Blond Phoenix
I love Luna he is soo funny. He reminds me of a little baby kitten and I think its funny how he catches the fish!
I love Luna he is soo funny. He reminds me of a little baby kitten and I think its funny how he catches the fish!
8/18/2003 c2 Blond Phoenix
hey. this sounds cool. Although I have to admit it isn't the best I've seen you write. I've seen you write wonderful stuff, but this chapter just seems to go a little fast. It's still cool and I like the whole dragon cat thing you have going on. See ya soon
hey. this sounds cool. Although I have to admit it isn't the best I've seen you write. I've seen you write wonderful stuff, but this chapter just seems to go a little fast. It's still cool and I like the whole dragon cat thing you have going on. See ya soon
8/13/2003 c9 8Kezkay
huh...didn't I already review this chapter? Maybe intense Deja vu... oh well. Very well done! The whole frilled-lizard thing was very well described (the deception, taunting, attack, physical description, and pyscological effects), as was Chapter 2, which I went back and read. You're right, a much slower pace, and better described. *revised* editions are fun, no? Anyway, back to this chapter... SRS! hahahah! so funny! YOu have all of your characters very well mapped out, whe~! It's late, I go bed now. -Kez
8Kezkayhuh...didn't I already review this chapter? Maybe intense Deja vu... oh well. Very well done! The whole frilled-lizard thing was very well described (the deception, taunting, attack, physical description, and pyscological effects), as was Chapter 2, which I went back and read. You're right, a much slower pace, and better described. *revised* editions are fun, no? Anyway, back to this chapter... SRS! hahahah! so funny! YOu have all of your characters very well mapped out, whe~! It's late, I go bed now. -Kez
8/9/2003 c12 1Emberlye
*snore*
NC: *shove* Wake up dumb but. We're on your profile you know.
*snaps awake* Oh yeah. Hey Drav and Belle!
NC: ...*Sweatdrop* Excuse him. He is not quite awake ye-
I am too! *shove*
NC: Ack! Stupid muse. Get on with the review and update and crap.
Oki doki. We're just here to say, we're kinda, well, er, waiting for chapter 13. No rush, no rush, we know you're busy cuz we've gotten your e-mails and stuff. Just wanted to drop by and say hello and tell you that everything is
a-o-k
NC: What else?
Oh, I updated chapter 2 if you're curious. No rush to read that either. It's not like my death day tomorrow, I just wanted to let you know. ^_^
NC: By the way, I sent you another e-mail if you're seeing this before you checked. So, yeah. It's just a cool pic of me cuz I got my braces off so I sent it around to all of my friends. Anyhoo, ttyl.
~Emberlye and Nickel City
And out mottos...
"Everyone who asks, recieves,
Everyone who seeks, finds,
And the door is open to,
Everyone who knocks."
-Luke 11:10
"To infinity, and beyond!"
1Emberlye*snore*
NC: *shove* Wake up dumb but. We're on your profile you know.
*snaps awake* Oh yeah. Hey Drav and Belle!
NC: ...*Sweatdrop* Excuse him. He is not quite awake ye-
I am too! *shove*
NC: Ack! Stupid muse. Get on with the review and update and crap.
Oki doki. We're just here to say, we're kinda, well, er, waiting for chapter 13. No rush, no rush, we know you're busy cuz we've gotten your e-mails and stuff. Just wanted to drop by and say hello and tell you that everything is
a-o-k
NC: What else?
Oh, I updated chapter 2 if you're curious. No rush to read that either. It's not like my death day tomorrow, I just wanted to let you know. ^_^
NC: By the way, I sent you another e-mail if you're seeing this before you checked. So, yeah. It's just a cool pic of me cuz I got my braces off so I sent it around to all of my friends. Anyhoo, ttyl.
~Emberlye and Nickel City
And out mottos...
"Everyone who asks, recieves,
Everyone who seeks, finds,
And the door is open to,
Everyone who knocks."
-Luke 11:10
"To infinity, and beyond!"
8/4/2003 c1 19Kat-Renee Kittel
Just started reading your story - will take me awhile to get thru it since I only read online at night - like your cat character, Cytosine, and the clan divisions are very creative. You might like to read The Purple Cat & Cat of Childlike Faith (yes, the Purple Cat talks, mostly telepathically.) Will read more later **bookmarks site**. ^..^
19Kat-Renee KittelJust started reading your story - will take me awhile to get thru it since I only read online at night - like your cat character, Cytosine, and the clan divisions are very creative. You might like to read The Purple Cat & Cat of Childlike Faith (yes, the Purple Cat talks, mostly telepathically.) Will read more later **bookmarks site**. ^..^
8/4/2003 c7 44Kerensky
Hey, Chapter 7 is great! Gryphons, an abandoned human city...love it all. Artemis and Scout are real fun, especially the 'all-knowing Sir Artemis Windfall II'. Anyway, I love your story, it is simply marvelous.
P.S. I have a new story going, though it is still untitled. And I have a couple new chapters on the other one. Hope you like them both.
44KerenskyHey, Chapter 7 is great! Gryphons, an abandoned human city...love it all. Artemis and Scout are real fun, especially the 'all-knowing Sir Artemis Windfall II'. Anyway, I love your story, it is simply marvelous.
P.S. I have a new story going, though it is still untitled. And I have a couple new chapters on the other one. Hope you like them both.