for A Simple Twist Of Fate8/4/2003 c12 
20Silence's Song
Wow! What an exciting chapter! I'm so relieved that Dravidian is alright. I love how you described the fight with the Silver Fang. Very good!
20Silence's SongWow! What an exciting chapter! I'm so relieved that Dravidian is alright. I love how you described the fight with the Silver Fang. Very good!
8/4/2003 c12 korakane
i am lazy after a major power outage that went on and off, light for thirty minutes, and then off for three hours and then until 3 in the morning, and then back on at 9:45. i was bored. i had to use the internet to give me something to do. and now my TV isn;t working. argh. argh. argh. anyway. nice fight scene. i think. now i must be bored again, as i wait for the next chapter..
still waiting...
i have lost my mind and gone into insanity. please ignore.
and call the character for your other story... still havent thought of a name. just use Tolan.
i am lazy after a major power outage that went on and off, light for thirty minutes, and then off for three hours and then until 3 in the morning, and then back on at 9:45. i was bored. i had to use the internet to give me something to do. and now my TV isn;t working. argh. argh. argh. anyway. nice fight scene. i think. now i must be bored again, as i wait for the next chapter..
still waiting...
i have lost my mind and gone into insanity. please ignore.
and call the character for your other story... still havent thought of a name. just use Tolan.
7/31/2003 c7 korakane
i am too lazy to log in. but, yeah, its a good chapter, but i really dont understand what some of the characters look like because theres not enough description, but that can be fixed easily, only this chapter had higher description than some. in my story, i put wizards on the low end on purpose, because the way the story goes (you'll see as you get farther into the story), but its rather important. i have griffins too, in my story, only they don't talk and are more along the bird-of-prey line.
i am too lazy to log in. but, yeah, its a good chapter, but i really dont understand what some of the characters look like because theres not enough description, but that can be fixed easily, only this chapter had higher description than some. in my story, i put wizards on the low end on purpose, because the way the story goes (you'll see as you get farther into the story), but its rather important. i have griffins too, in my story, only they don't talk and are more along the bird-of-prey line.
7/30/2003 c1 16willowkeyjey
I only got to read half of your chapter because I have to get offline and go to bed, :( its an excellent story so far I shall return! and I bet you have a lot of people asking you to read there storys so if you feel like reading somesad, depressing, or happy dreamlike poetry or just the begining of the few storys that I allow people to read then feel free to explore my wonderful little home here in fictionpress(I am not posting my best I plan on publishing them insted.) a new dedicated reveiwer (but bad speller *wince*) willowkeyjey
16willowkeyjeyI only got to read half of your chapter because I have to get offline and go to bed, :( its an excellent story so far I shall return! and I bet you have a lot of people asking you to read there storys so if you feel like reading somesad, depressing, or happy dreamlike poetry or just the begining of the few storys that I allow people to read then feel free to explore my wonderful little home here in fictionpress(I am not posting my best I plan on publishing them insted.) a new dedicated reveiwer (but bad speller *wince*) willowkeyjey
7/30/2003 c4 kcididfnord
Sorry it's been so long since the last time I reviewed. -_- Anyhow, I very much liked this chapter ... I love Cerberus's accent. I thought for a moment that one of the characters might get hurt (killed?) though! Mattimeo ... great book, that's what I thought you got Luna from, but I wasn't sure. The part with the catnip ... heh heh, that was amusing, especially Cytosine, who seems a bit more serious than the other two usually. :) I'll be reading more later - and good luck with that Honors English thing, whatever it is! Keep writing! :)
Sorry it's been so long since the last time I reviewed. -_- Anyhow, I very much liked this chapter ... I love Cerberus's accent. I thought for a moment that one of the characters might get hurt (killed?) though! Mattimeo ... great book, that's what I thought you got Luna from, but I wasn't sure. The part with the catnip ... heh heh, that was amusing, especially Cytosine, who seems a bit more serious than the other two usually. :) I'll be reading more later - and good luck with that Honors English thing, whatever it is! Keep writing! :)
7/30/2003 c4 3korakane
theres a lot of talking in this story. personally, i would like a bit more paragraphs, but that'd just me. so we have a Cerberus now. interesting.
3korakanetheres a lot of talking in this story. personally, i would like a bit more paragraphs, but that'd just me. so we have a Cerberus now. interesting.
7/30/2003 c3 korakane
so many taking animals. so very, very, many. so now i know why you like the "Redwall" series so much. yes, yes, HP5. i hated the ended. so very much because JK Rowling killed off *cough cough* in the chapter "Behind the Veil*. good book. bad ending. now i must only wait for HP6.
so many taking animals. so very, very, many. so now i know why you like the "Redwall" series so much. yes, yes, HP5. i hated the ended. so very much because JK Rowling killed off *cough cough* in the chapter "Behind the Veil*. good book. bad ending. now i must only wait for HP6.
7/30/2003 c2 korakane
i caught an error. sort of. you wrote: '"What! I don't even know what you're talking about." Said the dragon,' when it would actually be better as "What! I don't know what you're talking about," said the dragon, since "Said the dragon" is a sentence fragment. and one more thing, you kinda use the word "say" or "said" too much, so try to change that a bit, anyway, talking dragons are cool.
when you get around to reviewing my story, since you said you would since i reviewed yours, review "Dragonstone", since its my pride and glory currently. if you like talking animals, then you'll like Grebb, the overlord of the serpents that has a telepathic link with one of the major characters. ive said to much...
i caught an error. sort of. you wrote: '"What! I don't even know what you're talking about." Said the dragon,' when it would actually be better as "What! I don't know what you're talking about," said the dragon, since "Said the dragon" is a sentence fragment. and one more thing, you kinda use the word "say" or "said" too much, so try to change that a bit, anyway, talking dragons are cool.
when you get around to reviewing my story, since you said you would since i reviewed yours, review "Dragonstone", since its my pride and glory currently. if you like talking animals, then you'll like Grebb, the overlord of the serpents that has a telepathic link with one of the major characters. ive said to much...
7/30/2003 c1 korakane
well, i have to admit, talking animals are cool. well, the first chapter introduces the plot easily, and that's a good thing.
well, i have to admit, talking animals are cool. well, the first chapter introduces the plot easily, and that's a good thing.
7/29/2003 c6 44Kerensky
Nice cliffhanger. I will have to make sure to read the next chapter soon. Poor Cytosine, hitting her head on a rock in a fast moving river. The catnip stuff was fun, talk about making a felida crazy. hehe
"The blood of countless warriors is in me, and I will not disgrace them with my mistakes."
I think I'll have the next chapter of my story up soon, I gotta proofread and type it first. :)
44KerenskyNice cliffhanger. I will have to make sure to read the next chapter soon. Poor Cytosine, hitting her head on a rock in a fast moving river. The catnip stuff was fun, talk about making a felida crazy. hehe
"The blood of countless warriors is in me, and I will not disgrace them with my mistakes."
I think I'll have the next chapter of my story up soon, I gotta proofread and type it first. :)
7/29/2003 c1 6Blond Phoenix
Hey, this is very interesting. I've only read the first chapter and I noticed you put Luna in there. I bet after your cat! thank you for your reveiw!
6Blond PhoenixHey, this is very interesting. I've only read the first chapter and I noticed you put Luna in there. I bet after your cat! thank you for your reveiw!
7/28/2003 c12 39zelle
HUh? Dravidar is really a cruel *censored* to do that to his own son!
So was he really the one that attacked Cytosine's village? But why was Dravidian so convinced that it wasn't his father? hmm...
Aw! I half expected for Dravidar and the other dragons to eat Luna and Silver...thank god they didn't...
But you know what? Once you think about it, the king's reasoning is logical. The ransoming thing and all. And at least he offered a better excuse than: Just because I don't like you.
God, I love Luna and Silver.
“Have I ever told you how stupid it is to insult something that could kill you in a moment?”
*giggles*
OOh! Nice use of action-suspense in the cave! And you know, the relationship between Dravidian and Cytosine is really cute. Almost makes me think they'll end up together, or at least be friends ^_^.
“What? And let you have all the fun?” Hee. That's Cytosine all right.
"Maybe that was why they were battling so calmly. Had they already accepted that they weren’t going to make it out, that they were going to die here? Perhaps. "
What? NO!
"He’s a very kind dragon once you get to know him"
WHy is Dravidian so deluded about his father?
OOh...the ancient power...*shivers*...so cool!
“Do I look like I need rescuing?” hee hee. She really doesn't like to be rescued...does she ^_^;;
“Very well, Dravidian,” said Dravidar finally. “If you feel that strongly about it, I shan’t hurt her, or the other two.” He turned to Cytosine. “Now, about the Silver Fang, tell me truly, cat, is it lying dead? Did you really kill it?”
Why do I really distrust that?... *squints eyes* hm...
NO! UPDATE! I've seen this on chapter 12 FOREVER.
*poke poke, nudge* update? please?
39zelleHUh? Dravidar is really a cruel *censored* to do that to his own son!
So was he really the one that attacked Cytosine's village? But why was Dravidian so convinced that it wasn't his father? hmm...
Aw! I half expected for Dravidar and the other dragons to eat Luna and Silver...thank god they didn't...
But you know what? Once you think about it, the king's reasoning is logical. The ransoming thing and all. And at least he offered a better excuse than: Just because I don't like you.
God, I love Luna and Silver.
“Have I ever told you how stupid it is to insult something that could kill you in a moment?”
*giggles*
OOh! Nice use of action-suspense in the cave! And you know, the relationship between Dravidian and Cytosine is really cute. Almost makes me think they'll end up together, or at least be friends ^_^.
“What? And let you have all the fun?” Hee. That's Cytosine all right.
"Maybe that was why they were battling so calmly. Had they already accepted that they weren’t going to make it out, that they were going to die here? Perhaps. "
What? NO!
"He’s a very kind dragon once you get to know him"
WHy is Dravidian so deluded about his father?
OOh...the ancient power...*shivers*...so cool!
“Do I look like I need rescuing?” hee hee. She really doesn't like to be rescued...does she ^_^;;
“Very well, Dravidian,” said Dravidar finally. “If you feel that strongly about it, I shan’t hurt her, or the other two.” He turned to Cytosine. “Now, about the Silver Fang, tell me truly, cat, is it lying dead? Did you really kill it?”
Why do I really distrust that?... *squints eyes* hm...
NO! UPDATE! I've seen this on chapter 12 FOREVER.
*poke poke, nudge* update? please?
7/24/2003 c12 Arrow Windwhistler
I finally finished the entire story in less than a day...its a really nice story! It should get published. And I like that language you invented there...
I finally finished the entire story in less than a day...its a really nice story! It should get published. And I like that language you invented there...