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for A Simple Twist Of Fate

7/24/2003 c7 Arrow Windwhistler
Nice chapter! Really. Your cocoon analogy is really nice, and accurate. I wish that more people would think that way.
7/24/2003 c6 Arrow Windwhistler
Cool chapter! That one was paragraphed well, and I think this should be published.
7/24/2003 c3 Arrow Windwhistler
Now this must've been one of the longest, yet most intriguing chapters ever. The biggest problem here is the paragraphing. Well written though!
7/24/2003 c1 Arrow Windwhistler
Now this is a nice, original idea. Got a nice plot going...and it seems long enough to be published!
7/24/2003 c12 38Fate Thirteen
“She hates being rescued, you know that.” Heehee! I love those twins. I adore them. I want them.

'Maybe that was why they were battling so calmly. Had they already accepted that they weren’t going to make it out, that they were going to die here? Perhaps.' Ah, very doom-laden. I'm getting quite depressed. I can't believe this is nearly the end!

'the Silver Fang’s thick fur did not cover his neck quite as thickly' - *winces* careful, Belle. That was thick in quick succession, and I'm not even sure it made the right sort of sense. If his fur is thick, then at his neck it would be thinner. That might be the word you were searching for.

Aw, what a fight! Cytosine and Dravidian are really close, now. It's heart-warming. I hope you get the next chapter up soon!

Lots of love,

7/24/2003 c11 Fate Thirteen
Wazoo, I'm back from holiday! Missed this place so much, and lots of scrummy stuff to read! Started with you: ARGH, DRAVIDIAN! FLY!

Cytosine seems really unhappy. It was cool to see some more of what happened to her - I want to know why Dravidar (who is an arse, in my opinion) has such a grudge against the felidas.

Good thing there's another chapter, or I might cry.
7/23/2003 c12 8A-wolf-called-Skya
Awesome! this is the best chapter you've done! *whistles* awesome!

Could i ask a favor? One of my online friends, Justin, has a story. sadly, barely anyone reads it. it's one you would proBABLY like, the characters are all falcons. his username is " Distant Thunder" and the first book is "Chasing Shadows". i would really be happy if you could read it. thank you!

As for The Untamed Unicorn, i have five chapters done in the sequel, "Road of Destruction" *Wink* you got a lot of reading after that honor assignment. 8 chapters counting both books. also(lol) i got the Draconic story started. so, in all, you now have ten chaps. and one short story, and one poem! i've been busy writing all right!

Awesome chapter, i saw no typos...gotta run!


*Every legend leaves a mark*
7/22/2003 c11 39zelle
*gasp* why? Stupid father. I believe I...dislike him already.

There was alot of history and character building on Cytosine's part in this chapter...I think there could have been a little more description on what mt. Dragon looked like...btu that woud be me being a bit anal.

Other than that, marvellous work! I got really sucked into the action at the end.

Hmm...far-listening? Interesting...

So sorry it was so long since I'd read this...reason? one word: twit-computer.


Dude, don't ever stop writing...
7/22/2003 c12 Alaurei
You scared me for a moment there. I thought you might end the story here and now. I'm so happy you didn't because I love this adventure. I wonder what is going to happen next. Do the dragons have to do something because someone else saved their lives? Or does it have to do with the Silver Fang dying? I'm left in wonder. But that is okay, people who question find answers, but those stuck in the answers, are boring. I don't know why I said that. Anyway, onto the good part of reviews.

Yeah Cytosine! She kicked butt! Girls rule! So do kitty-cats! Yeah! That was great to have her beat the Silver Fang, I'm not sure if it is part of the story or you just wanted the main character to kill the Silver Fang, or what. ^_^ I don't care because I thought she did so well. What was that cool, magical moment though. Hm 0.0 I'm in wonder once again. Lovely though, just lovely. And I agree with your author's note. Well, not much more to say about that.

YES! DRAVIDAR IS A BIG FAT MEANIE! But at least his listened to Dravidian. Oh, I also wanted to ask you something. I've loved your characters so much, and I was wondering if maybe I could draw them? I would post it on my webiste and give you full credit for the characters and everything. I would even e-mail you the pictures first and you could tell me what you think. Hey, it's no problem if you don't want me too either. I would totally understand. It's just, I think these feilda are so cute, as well as the dragons so just leave me a review or e-mail me. Thanks. ^_^

~Nickel City

"To infinity, and beyond!"
7/22/2003 c12 31kitfallen
Kit again! i loved the new chapter! You're much better at fight sceens then i am. thats why most of my characters fight with magic or just turn and flee. ^^; i keep on getting Drav and his father mixed up because their names are almost the same X_x but thats just me being stupid. and yes i do read fast, my mom says that i 'eat' books, i gobble them up, yum! ^-^; anyway i'll get to work on thinking up more for Drake's story.. i also have to type up more of Maxie's story and drawsome pictures of some of my characters... and now that i've started school i'll be slugish about it.. urg..T_ stupid school work. EVIL MATH! o_o; oops i said that out loud.. Anyway- i hope you get started on the next chapter soon! i'm hungry! ^-^ *munch* *munch* YUM!

7/22/2003 c12 Wildmage42
O_O The Silver Fang was creepy. I mean, I like wolves, and it was creepy. *can't wait to hear the end* Post more as soon as you get your project done. Actually, I should really be doing my project, too... *sighs*

BTW, I've got my new chapter up. Read chapter two again first, because I changed a few things. But the new one is there. Later!
7/21/2003 c12 14DigiDayDreamer
Whoa, chapter 12 is an action, climatic run-down! I guess this is Cytosine's chapter now. And I don't mind the reviewer responses at the bottom. Maybe I should do the same as well.

Dravidar scared? Could it be about Cytosine's moon sign that gave her power? Hmm...

Nice too how you accounted for evry character they encountered. Luna is still a bit silly, though he's quite the risktaker now. I wonder what took them so long to get down there though.

Yes, it's not fearing death, but fearing to part from life itself.

Now I'm really starting to wonder what happened in Cytosine's and Dravidian's pasts. Well, I guess I find out the next chapter, I suppose.

It might be a while before I begin writing on the next chapter of Dragon Warz 2 since I'm writing the next chapter of TAS.

Well, thanks for the response. I keep worrying too much about characters going OOC. It's like a bug to a writer like me.

And yes, Dravidian's broken wing was quite ironic indeed. I actually didn't notice that until you said so. LOL. At least it got fixed right away, didn't it?

But it might take me a while again, seeing how the last chapter took me (almost a month). Well, I gotta do some stuff now. Oh, and Nogar's jealous of Dravidian.

Nogar: Am not!

Hee hee. I was just kiding, get it Nogar? *notices deadly glare and runs away* AAh! *barely avoids dark acid*

Nogar: Come back here!

Spell ya later! AAh!
7/21/2003 c12 30Silverfire Starr
Awesome chapter! The part with Luna, Dravidar and Silver had me laughing.

Very good fighting descriptions.

You might want to shorten the thinking part before Cytosine killed Silver Fang, it would help the reader stay with the story.

Suspenseful chapter ending.

Anyways, good chapter!

Thanks for the reviews.
7/18/2003 c11 2Kayasuri-n
Good lord! I'm working on the next chapter of my story, but this is amazing! Your story is great! I'll have to re-read it! Wo0t!
7/17/2003 c11 30Silverfire Starr
Ah! Update SOON!

Okay, I think that was probably the best chapter so far. Very good.

Yeah, I recognised the bit about Cytosine's past from the old ch.2. The revision makes the story come together more.

Anyways, great job and UPDATE SOON!
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