for A Simple Twist Of Fate7/17/2003 c11 Wildmage42
GRR! Another cliffhanger! The I HATE YOU thing was creepy. Update soon.
My writer's block is going away at last! Am currently writing chapter three, should be up within a week. Anyway, yeah...write more soon!
GRR! Another cliffhanger! The I HATE YOU thing was creepy. Update soon.
My writer's block is going away at last! Am currently writing chapter three, should be up within a week. Anyway, yeah...write more soon!
7/17/2003 c11 Hawk Mage
Starr: Were back and with a new chapter. We are total oposites so that's why we have different favs.
HS: Though Cytosine is growing on me. Anyways, great chapter. I like this a lot. I can't wait for more. Thanks for your help in the begining stages of my story.
Starr: She has very strange stories on ff.net if you want to read them. She has the link in her Bio by the way.
They're not that good. I have a Sr fic under Cheetoh frito also. THe reason was because I didn't have a profile at the time. Thanx. Hope you like chapter 8.
*_*
If you win, you win; if you lose, you lose. That's life, get over it!
Starr: Were back and with a new chapter. We are total oposites so that's why we have different favs.
HS: Though Cytosine is growing on me. Anyways, great chapter. I like this a lot. I can't wait for more. Thanks for your help in the begining stages of my story.
Starr: She has very strange stories on ff.net if you want to read them. She has the link in her Bio by the way.
They're not that good. I have a Sr fic under Cheetoh frito also. THe reason was because I didn't have a profile at the time. Thanx. Hope you like chapter 8.
*_*
If you win, you win; if you lose, you lose. That's life, get over it!
7/17/2003 c10 Zelle.again
ahem! anyways, me again ^_^. I just remembered a little critique thing that I meant to put in my last review but..didn't ^_^.
The ending? Seemed a leetle off color. I don't know. Might be me, but it had a sort of unfinished feel...don't try to do shorter chapters just because you think we'll get bored or restless...because we won't (well *looks around* I won't, but that's beside the point ^_^).
and er, that's all I wanted to point out! Otherwise? Brilliant and marvellous chapter! I adore how you took animals and made them into such realistic characters...You write a serious story, with occasional humorous twists which serve as a giggle point for us readers and we love you for it ^o^. Whatever you do, don't stop writing!
paff. sorry if I sounded odd...lack of sleep does that to a gal ^_-
ahem! anyways, me again ^_^. I just remembered a little critique thing that I meant to put in my last review but..didn't ^_^.
The ending? Seemed a leetle off color. I don't know. Might be me, but it had a sort of unfinished feel...don't try to do shorter chapters just because you think we'll get bored or restless...because we won't (well *looks around* I won't, but that's beside the point ^_^).
and er, that's all I wanted to point out! Otherwise? Brilliant and marvellous chapter! I adore how you took animals and made them into such realistic characters...You write a serious story, with occasional humorous twists which serve as a giggle point for us readers and we love you for it ^o^. Whatever you do, don't stop writing!
paff. sorry if I sounded odd...lack of sleep does that to a gal ^_-
7/17/2003 c10 
39zelle
YAY! I'm back!
"a dead, mangled, and mutilated Dijernik body was lying on the ground. Only the bones, a few pieces of torn up skin, and dried blood remained" erm...ick _
39zelleYAY! I'm back!
"a dead, mangled, and mutilated Dijernik body was lying on the ground. Only the bones, a few pieces of torn up skin, and dried blood remained" erm...ick _
7/16/2003 c4 2Taill
Wow! I enjoyed this chapter all rigth-especially since I LOVE mythology. Great idea to have the cute (well, I think it's cute) Cerberus in there-I liked him a lot.
I'm also glad to see Dravidian, Luna, Silver and Cytosine become friends. I also liked what Dravidian told to Cytosine about how killing his clan won't bring hers back.
I have to go, but I'll be sure to review more of your chapters! I promise ^_^
2TaillWow! I enjoyed this chapter all rigth-especially since I LOVE mythology. Great idea to have the cute (well, I think it's cute) Cerberus in there-I liked him a lot.
I'm also glad to see Dravidian, Luna, Silver and Cytosine become friends. I also liked what Dravidian told to Cytosine about how killing his clan won't bring hers back.
I have to go, but I'll be sure to review more of your chapters! I promise ^_^
7/16/2003 c3 Taill
My apologies for review late, I believe I have a lot of catching up to do with your story ^_^
I really like Luna-he's quite the character, and is so cute ^.^
I liked the stories that the felida and Dravidian told to each other-they explained a lot.
Anyways, onto the next chapter!
My apologies for review late, I believe I have a lot of catching up to do with your story ^_^
I really like Luna-he's quite the character, and is so cute ^.^
I liked the stories that the felida and Dravidian told to each other-they explained a lot.
Anyways, onto the next chapter!
7/15/2003 c9 39zelle
whoa. ^_^ I liked the transition you made between moods in the first and second part of the chapter ^_^. The beginnign part was HILARIOUS and Scout's as cute as ever ^_^. " Breathe. In, out, in, out" *rolls on the floor laughing* your characters are so adorable! I love them!
I don't think you meant the last two paragraph things to be funny, but it was o_O...I dunno...weird mood I'm in..
The only thing I didn't like about this chapter was the A/Ns in between. I dunno, to me, it interrupts the flow and is kind of like, reality-check.
But that's all I have to critique on...and that's me being anal too! *pouts*
Belle, dear, you're good...and if you ever decide to stop writing this, I just might have to implement, er, "unique" methods of persuasion, you know ^_-.
39zellewhoa. ^_^ I liked the transition you made between moods in the first and second part of the chapter ^_^. The beginnign part was HILARIOUS and Scout's as cute as ever ^_^. " Breathe. In, out, in, out" *rolls on the floor laughing* your characters are so adorable! I love them!
I don't think you meant the last two paragraph things to be funny, but it was o_O...I dunno...weird mood I'm in..
The only thing I didn't like about this chapter was the A/Ns in between. I dunno, to me, it interrupts the flow and is kind of like, reality-check.
But that's all I have to critique on...and that's me being anal too! *pouts*
Belle, dear, you're good...and if you ever decide to stop writing this, I just might have to implement, er, "unique" methods of persuasion, you know ^_-.
7/15/2003 c11 Alaurei
0_0 Wait a sec, isn't there MORE to the chapter? You're just going to leave me hanging like this? I can't wait! I'm almost done with the series I'm reading...(the golden compas, the subtle knife, the amber spyglass by Phillip Pullman) and I'm going to have nothing to read everntually. Please, oh please, write chapter 12 soon! Because...*sniffle* you just can't do this to me. I'm sitting here, waiting for my body to realzie: "Duh, the chapter is over" but it ain't happening yet. Well, onto the BEST par tof reviews.
Ha ha! Lovey mushy stuff! *grin* ^_^ Sounds totally not like me. Heh, I don't usually write romance but it seems to have found a teeny tiny crack in Unforgotten Clouds: A New Beginning and it is spreading its virus trhoughout the whole book! *breaths in a deep sigh* Oh well, it isn't always a bad thing. *sniffle* I only get a really bad cold when I realize that I, Nickel City, the author who doesn't seem to even have thought of a love life, is writting about one. *cough* Dag nabbit, here comes the cold. Ember! I need my medicine.
Emberlye: Dragon to the rescue!
Yes, yes, whatever. Finish the review while I get my cold medicine.
Emberlye: Of course Nickel. Now...
And no peanut butter!
Ember: Aw, come on. Why not? That is all I know how to write about...*glare*
Fine. A little bit. Ah ha! Here it is. *pulls out container*
Ember: Well, so far Nickel is LOVING the story. She is thinking about writting a sotry about talking animails (can't remember the big long word for that) but she wants to finish her other ones first. She has a very strong message that she wants to say: (and I quote from NC herself) YOU SHALL PUBLISH THIS AS SON AS YOU'RE DONE TYPING IT! EDIT IT A LITTLE I GUESS, SHOW ME THE FINAL COPY, THEN EDIT SOME MORE, AND THEN PUBLISH IT! YOU CANNOT DECIDE AGAINST THESE WORDS OF WISDOM. YOU SHALL SUCCEED! (got that off of a fortune cookie) SO, PUBLISH!
I'm back! Ember, what are you droaning on about now?
Ember: What you told me to droan on about.
Oh great. Ah-ah-acho! *sniffle* Sorry, love sickness. I'm gonna get better now that I took my pills. Anyway...*sniffle* I can tell Drav. and Cytosine are gonna get together. Not that it is predictable (unless that is what you want it to be) but, as an author, I recognize things like this and I believe that it is wonderful! ^_^ *sniffle* Keep up the great work with this.
0_0 scary daddy dragon. He is VERY mean as far as I'm concerned. I just wanna say what is on my mind after reading your story. "I wonder how Dravidian caused Dravidar to kill all of Cytosine's tribe." and "Maybe peace will come between the two tribes, or something of the sort". Just what is on my mind. ^_^ *sniffle* Ugh, I need a tissue Ember!
Emberlye: Here ya go.
Thank you. *blows nose* Ugh...*voice all stuffy* I'm sorry, I hate when this happens. Well, I must go and sleep to make this horrible disease go away. Until then, work on the story and great drawings. I'll talk to you later!
Nickel City
ps. thanks for the wonderful support! ^_^
"To infinity, and beyond!"
0_0 Wait a sec, isn't there MORE to the chapter? You're just going to leave me hanging like this? I can't wait! I'm almost done with the series I'm reading...(the golden compas, the subtle knife, the amber spyglass by Phillip Pullman) and I'm going to have nothing to read everntually. Please, oh please, write chapter 12 soon! Because...*sniffle* you just can't do this to me. I'm sitting here, waiting for my body to realzie: "Duh, the chapter is over" but it ain't happening yet. Well, onto the BEST par tof reviews.
Ha ha! Lovey mushy stuff! *grin* ^_^ Sounds totally not like me. Heh, I don't usually write romance but it seems to have found a teeny tiny crack in Unforgotten Clouds: A New Beginning and it is spreading its virus trhoughout the whole book! *breaths in a deep sigh* Oh well, it isn't always a bad thing. *sniffle* I only get a really bad cold when I realize that I, Nickel City, the author who doesn't seem to even have thought of a love life, is writting about one. *cough* Dag nabbit, here comes the cold. Ember! I need my medicine.
Emberlye: Dragon to the rescue!
Yes, yes, whatever. Finish the review while I get my cold medicine.
Emberlye: Of course Nickel. Now...
And no peanut butter!
Ember: Aw, come on. Why not? That is all I know how to write about...*glare*
Fine. A little bit. Ah ha! Here it is. *pulls out container*
Ember: Well, so far Nickel is LOVING the story. She is thinking about writting a sotry about talking animails (can't remember the big long word for that) but she wants to finish her other ones first. She has a very strong message that she wants to say: (and I quote from NC herself) YOU SHALL PUBLISH THIS AS SON AS YOU'RE DONE TYPING IT! EDIT IT A LITTLE I GUESS, SHOW ME THE FINAL COPY, THEN EDIT SOME MORE, AND THEN PUBLISH IT! YOU CANNOT DECIDE AGAINST THESE WORDS OF WISDOM. YOU SHALL SUCCEED! (got that off of a fortune cookie) SO, PUBLISH!
I'm back! Ember, what are you droaning on about now?
Ember: What you told me to droan on about.
Oh great. Ah-ah-acho! *sniffle* Sorry, love sickness. I'm gonna get better now that I took my pills. Anyway...*sniffle* I can tell Drav. and Cytosine are gonna get together. Not that it is predictable (unless that is what you want it to be) but, as an author, I recognize things like this and I believe that it is wonderful! ^_^ *sniffle* Keep up the great work with this.
0_0 scary daddy dragon. He is VERY mean as far as I'm concerned. I just wanna say what is on my mind after reading your story. "I wonder how Dravidian caused Dravidar to kill all of Cytosine's tribe." and "Maybe peace will come between the two tribes, or something of the sort". Just what is on my mind. ^_^ *sniffle* Ugh, I need a tissue Ember!
Emberlye: Here ya go.
Thank you. *blows nose* Ugh...*voice all stuffy* I'm sorry, I hate when this happens. Well, I must go and sleep to make this horrible disease go away. Until then, work on the story and great drawings. I'll talk to you later!
Nickel City
ps. thanks for the wonderful support! ^_^
"To infinity, and beyond!"
7/15/2003 c8 zelle
hah~! I love Scout more than ever! :D Adn Dravidian was so cutely concerned throughout the whole chapter! Now I'm in this mushy and cute little mood and it's all YOUR fault.
"Well do you like it? Hate it?" You're kidding me *gives the look* do you even have to ask? Of course its superb! yeesh~!
bleh. Forgive me if I'm not at my most coherentness...had to sneak onto dad's computer to read this at 11:00 at night b/c twit-father cut off the other computers...and now its 12:30 about..._
hah~! I love Scout more than ever! :D Adn Dravidian was so cutely concerned throughout the whole chapter! Now I'm in this mushy and cute little mood and it's all YOUR fault.
"Well do you like it? Hate it?" You're kidding me *gives the look* do you even have to ask? Of course its superb! yeesh~!
bleh. Forgive me if I'm not at my most coherentness...had to sneak onto dad's computer to read this at 11:00 at night b/c twit-father cut off the other computers...and now its 12:30 about..._
7/14/2003 c2 4ColorCrayons
very cute story you have here! it seems quite unique and creative, grandness with the cats and all. you seem to have a good outline and you know ur world well.
perhaps a bit more hesitation before saying Cytosine will lead Dravidian back...maybe talk about her thought process or somethin. nothing really important, just an idea to throw out there in case your ever bored.
It's good that ur charz are different and we can tell their personalities appart, good job for u!
~color outside the line~
ps, i know i only got to chapter two. i will continue reading it but i have to go for now. also, thank u so very much for reviewing me! that was swell of ya.
4ColorCrayonsvery cute story you have here! it seems quite unique and creative, grandness with the cats and all. you seem to have a good outline and you know ur world well.
perhaps a bit more hesitation before saying Cytosine will lead Dravidian back...maybe talk about her thought process or somethin. nothing really important, just an idea to throw out there in case your ever bored.
It's good that ur charz are different and we can tell their personalities appart, good job for u!
~color outside the line~
ps, i know i only got to chapter two. i will continue reading it but i have to go for now. also, thank u so very much for reviewing me! that was swell of ya.
7/13/2003 c11 27Loganberry
Well, just to be certain I read the whole lot again from the beginning. Good job I'm a quick reader! (Thanks for the heads-up, btw.)
Other than the occasional typo, I really can't find something to moan about here (which is really annoying!but see below! =;) ) It needs a bit of concentration to keep track of the various sub-plots, but then that's my problem, not yours.
On ch. 11 in particular, I will insert my usual slight moan about over-long A/Ns. I know I'm in a minority here, but I really think more than one para detracts from the story. (Reviewer responses are a different matter, I suppose.) And oh, what a cliffhanger! =;)
27LoganberryWell, just to be certain I read the whole lot again from the beginning. Good job I'm a quick reader! (Thanks for the heads-up, btw.)
Other than the occasional typo, I really can't find something to moan about here (which is really annoying!but see below! =;) ) It needs a bit of concentration to keep track of the various sub-plots, but then that's my problem, not yours.
On ch. 11 in particular, I will insert my usual slight moan about over-long A/Ns. I know I'm in a minority here, but I really think more than one para detracts from the story. (Reviewer responses are a different matter, I suppose.) And oh, what a cliffhanger! =;)
7/13/2003 c11 8A-wolf-called-Skya
quite good. Again, some small errors like, instead of spelling "They" you spelt The, i do that too. Near the end of the chapter, instead of saying Dravidian, you said Artemis. You said her and Artemis had a great adventure, and da da da da da. thats all the errors i can recall at the moment. otherwise, good job!
The Untamed unicorn is done, well not really, but the first book is, now i'm working on the second book. The untamed Unicorn was just introducing you to Blacksun basicly, now it gets action packed thou. plz do another chapter soon, i'm working on preping Call To The Sky for being published. and also working on the #2 in my series. hope you enjoy the last 3 chapters!
A-wolf-called-Skya-
:Every legend leaves a mark:
8A-wolf-called-Skyaquite good. Again, some small errors like, instead of spelling "They" you spelt The, i do that too. Near the end of the chapter, instead of saying Dravidian, you said Artemis. You said her and Artemis had a great adventure, and da da da da da. thats all the errors i can recall at the moment. otherwise, good job!
The Untamed unicorn is done, well not really, but the first book is, now i'm working on the second book. The untamed Unicorn was just introducing you to Blacksun basicly, now it gets action packed thou. plz do another chapter soon, i'm working on preping Call To The Sky for being published. and also working on the #2 in my series. hope you enjoy the last 3 chapters!
A-wolf-called-Skya-
:Every legend leaves a mark:
7/12/2003 c11 20Silence's Song
Wow! What an awesome chapter! I'm all concerned about Dravidian now...I hope he'll be alright! Please update soon!
20Silence's SongWow! What an awesome chapter! I'm all concerned about Dravidian now...I hope he'll be alright! Please update soon!
7/12/2003 c11 31kitfallen
Aloha! thankies for reviewing my story, i still have to put a whole bunch more up. the Power Stones story is really just a run off of my favorite story, The Maxie Stories, i'll try to put that one up soon, but it's super long and i still have to type a whole lot more. Basically it's about a kitten named Maxie who gets caught up in something he doesnt understand... not that he understands alot.. Maxie's very silly sometimes, he gets bitten by a 'nut-cat' meaning squirrel and a few other crazy things happen to him.. most dealing with his strange Power of being telepathic. Meep! i'm getting off topic.. err... oh yea! I love Luna, of course i always love the semi-main characters that are funny and semi-unknown... reminds me of Kitkat in my Maxie story. Kitkat's the smallest but he sure makes up for it by being comical and downright silly. I've always loved magic and cats. So i constantly put them together in my stories. i hope 'Draggy' (LOLies) gets out okay...
~From one semi-insane catlover to another~
31kitfallenAloha! thankies for reviewing my story, i still have to put a whole bunch more up. the Power Stones story is really just a run off of my favorite story, The Maxie Stories, i'll try to put that one up soon, but it's super long and i still have to type a whole lot more. Basically it's about a kitten named Maxie who gets caught up in something he doesnt understand... not that he understands alot.. Maxie's very silly sometimes, he gets bitten by a 'nut-cat' meaning squirrel and a few other crazy things happen to him.. most dealing with his strange Power of being telepathic. Meep! i'm getting off topic.. err... oh yea! I love Luna, of course i always love the semi-main characters that are funny and semi-unknown... reminds me of Kitkat in my Maxie story. Kitkat's the smallest but he sure makes up for it by being comical and downright silly. I've always loved magic and cats. So i constantly put them together in my stories. i hope 'Draggy' (LOLies) gets out okay...
~From one semi-insane catlover to another~
7/11/2003 c7 39zelle
YAY! For some reason, I REALLY liked this chapter ^_^. So I'm going to go back through and bullet-point all the stuff I noticed and what made it an overall spectacular chapter ^.^
- You captured Dravidian's concern for Cytosine marvellously at the beginning ^_^. It's so cute how he got all huffy about it, although I'm kind of iffy about Luna and Silver. But then again, it's probably because they have a lot of confidence in her strength of character, which I also find adorable ^_^.
- i LOVED how you introduce the new characters smoothly into the story. Not like some random Mary-Sue that jumps in and doesn't seem to have importance to the rest of the story. I kinda like this Sir Artemis character *grins* and Scout is so cute in his annoying little boy kind of way ^_^
- Scout shrugged, "I dunno, it looked dead to me." *rolls on the floor laughing* omg! :D
- "Cytosine knew very little about humans, except that they had left the land many years ago... To Cytosine, the city still looked vastly untamed." Ok...right here, I had to stop in awe. It seemed like right here you EXPLODED with the descriptive language and it was absolutely captivating *is in awe*...SERIOUSLY. keep this up and I will LOVE you. As it is, I had to read it a couple of times over because I kept getting that delightfuly tingly feeling everytime I read it *grins* ^_^
- "Well, you see it means . . ." he paused. "Maybe I should try this in an easier way." Artemis looked around the trees, as if looking for something. "Miss Cytosine, can you tell me what that thing is?" he asked pointing something hanging from a branch..."
this was such a unique way of describing this! I honestly had never used or seen this analogy before and when I read it, a light went on and I went: "Oh, yea...huh.^_^"
I think this chapter was the most soothing of all your chapters...if that makes sense. Kind of lulled me into this nice soft and thoughtful little mood that I can't get out of ^_-. Congratulations, indeed...and keep this up!
btw: thanks for reviewing The Source. And of course it won't be as good as Loki. I put less thought into it and, quite frankly, hadn't intended to continue it...but I did...
and I must announce now that you are authoress extraordinaire ^_-
39zelleYAY! For some reason, I REALLY liked this chapter ^_^. So I'm going to go back through and bullet-point all the stuff I noticed and what made it an overall spectacular chapter ^.^
- You captured Dravidian's concern for Cytosine marvellously at the beginning ^_^. It's so cute how he got all huffy about it, although I'm kind of iffy about Luna and Silver. But then again, it's probably because they have a lot of confidence in her strength of character, which I also find adorable ^_^.
- i LOVED how you introduce the new characters smoothly into the story. Not like some random Mary-Sue that jumps in and doesn't seem to have importance to the rest of the story. I kinda like this Sir Artemis character *grins* and Scout is so cute in his annoying little boy kind of way ^_^
- Scout shrugged, "I dunno, it looked dead to me." *rolls on the floor laughing* omg! :D
- "Cytosine knew very little about humans, except that they had left the land many years ago... To Cytosine, the city still looked vastly untamed." Ok...right here, I had to stop in awe. It seemed like right here you EXPLODED with the descriptive language and it was absolutely captivating *is in awe*...SERIOUSLY. keep this up and I will LOVE you. As it is, I had to read it a couple of times over because I kept getting that delightfuly tingly feeling everytime I read it *grins* ^_^
- "Well, you see it means . . ." he paused. "Maybe I should try this in an easier way." Artemis looked around the trees, as if looking for something. "Miss Cytosine, can you tell me what that thing is?" he asked pointing something hanging from a branch..."
this was such a unique way of describing this! I honestly had never used or seen this analogy before and when I read it, a light went on and I went: "Oh, yea...huh.^_^"
I think this chapter was the most soothing of all your chapters...if that makes sense. Kind of lulled me into this nice soft and thoughtful little mood that I can't get out of ^_-. Congratulations, indeed...and keep this up!
btw: thanks for reviewing The Source. And of course it won't be as good as Loki. I put less thought into it and, quite frankly, hadn't intended to continue it...but I did...
and I must announce now that you are authoress extraordinaire ^_-