for A Simple Twist Of Fate7/11/2003 c6 
39zelle
yes! that's what it was! The catnip! ^_^ whe...and we all know how crazy cats go on catnip ^.^
"Our signs are said to foretell what kind of felida we'll turn out to be, like our personality and our luck in life."
wait...so does everyone that's a certain sign turn out the same way? hm...
"Catnip, Catnip under a tree..."
*tries to control laughter...but fails* how CUTE! Kind of reminds me of the sining mice in the movie Babe, if you've seen it ^_^
"That's not singing. That's.that's. I don't even know what I would call that.." *rolls on the floor laughing* ^o^
"They could be.but it could be a coincidence o' course. Only time 'twill tell."
*gets delicious shivers* but..but..they were meant for each other!
"He of course blamed it on the catnip. It seemed that it had amazing effects on the felida, not only did it make them excessively happy but it seemed to give them boundless energy."
*grins*
*is reading at the bridge part*...but wait...why did the humans die out? (or at least that's what I'm assuming)...hm...*speculates*
"She resurfaced quickly and was about to cry out again when she felt her head hit a rock and everything went black."
gack! no! Dravidian! Save her~!
*moves quickly onto the next chapter*
39zelleyes! that's what it was! The catnip! ^_^ whe...and we all know how crazy cats go on catnip ^.^
"Our signs are said to foretell what kind of felida we'll turn out to be, like our personality and our luck in life."
wait...so does everyone that's a certain sign turn out the same way? hm...
"Catnip, Catnip under a tree..."
*tries to control laughter...but fails* how CUTE! Kind of reminds me of the sining mice in the movie Babe, if you've seen it ^_^
"That's not singing. That's.that's. I don't even know what I would call that.." *rolls on the floor laughing* ^o^
"They could be.but it could be a coincidence o' course. Only time 'twill tell."
*gets delicious shivers* but..but..they were meant for each other!
"He of course blamed it on the catnip. It seemed that it had amazing effects on the felida, not only did it make them excessively happy but it seemed to give them boundless energy."
*grins*
*is reading at the bridge part*...but wait...why did the humans die out? (or at least that's what I'm assuming)...hm...*speculates*
"She resurfaced quickly and was about to cry out again when she felt her head hit a rock and everything went black."
gack! no! Dravidian! Save her~!
*moves quickly onto the next chapter*
7/10/2003 c4 zelle
wai~! I came back from camp!
now *cracks knuckles* your story! ^_^ hehee there were lots of funny bits that had me in spas fits of laughter ^_^. Yes, yes...my mom worries too.
"All right," said Dravidian slowly, "let's back away slowly. Ready?"
heehe...i don't think this was intended to be funny...but then I imagined the look on his face...and the situation...and *rolls around in laughter*
"She also noticed with great surprise that at its four paws were covered with some kind of fur that covered half of each leg. As it came closer she saw that it was not tufts of fur, but real living flames."
HWEE! twist on the original, eh? ^_^ I like...
I also love their accents! You did them JUST right...some writers overdo it so you have to read it again to understand...and then some do too little *cough* so the reader's aren't entirely sure what it's supposed to sound like...and congratulations ^_^ you did it.
oh...prophecy? delicious. ^_^
there was another funny part...but I can't remember where it is...dammit.
Feel proud. Yours is the first story I've read since I got back ^_^. You have officially gotten my interest.
wai~! I came back from camp!
now *cracks knuckles* your story! ^_^ hehee there were lots of funny bits that had me in spas fits of laughter ^_^. Yes, yes...my mom worries too.
"All right," said Dravidian slowly, "let's back away slowly. Ready?"
heehe...i don't think this was intended to be funny...but then I imagined the look on his face...and the situation...and *rolls around in laughter*
"She also noticed with great surprise that at its four paws were covered with some kind of fur that covered half of each leg. As it came closer she saw that it was not tufts of fur, but real living flames."
HWEE! twist on the original, eh? ^_^ I like...
I also love their accents! You did them JUST right...some writers overdo it so you have to read it again to understand...and then some do too little *cough* so the reader's aren't entirely sure what it's supposed to sound like...and congratulations ^_^ you did it.
oh...prophecy? delicious. ^_^
there was another funny part...but I can't remember where it is...dammit.
Feel proud. Yours is the first story I've read since I got back ^_^. You have officially gotten my interest.
7/10/2003 c11 14DigiDayDreamer
It's okay, Belle. I don't mind the cliffhanger. Finally we meet Dravidar! That name sounds cool, but his attitude leaves a lot to be desired. Well, I'll profile the characters since you profiled mine which is appreciatively informative of you. I never thought someone would know the characters as much as I do.^_^
Cytosine: Yes, she has changed over night. Tough and brave but still a kitten inside. It's like she grew up from the journey. I can see how hard it is for her to dream something as horrible as a broken, harsh past. It was perfectly natural of her to do that to Dravidian, hating him because it was his fault and all. Somehow, I admired her courage for telling Drav about her past.
Dravidian: Hmm, he's become more caring of Cytosine than I thought he would be. Who knows? He's still an all-around good guy, er, dragon. Gee, you'd think his wing would have healed a bit by now or maybe it's because it's supposed to stay broken for the sake of the story. O_O Oy! I made a weird thought again. Beep. Dravidian is seemingly indestructible and- Beep. Huh? Did I just say that? *blushes*
Silver and Luna: What can I say about those twin felidas? Luna is a bit strange, though lovable in my opinion. Silver is acting more of an older brother now. And he's making witty remarks.^_^
That's about it, I suppose. Also I started making the second chapter of Dragon Warz 2. I hope I haven't made you and Dravidian too out-of-character (OOC). Also your brother draws very good, even better than me. *wistful sigh*
I hope Dravidian is all right. Doesn't anybody else get in danger aside from Dravidian and Cytosine? *pauses in shock* I just realized they have one thing in common: trouble.
LOL ^O^
*stops LOL* Seriously though, I'd want to know what happens next. *Imagines Dravidian beating up the Silver Fang. Muffled snickers then. . .* LOL!
*stops LOL* But still, doesn't the Silver Fang sound like a snake's name? Unless it's something with a silver fang, which I can't possibly imagine.
Drawing the characters? I think your brother's the best artist around. Maybe you could ask him about that. ^_^
Well, that's all I can think of saying now. Keep up the great writing! And thanks for the wonderful review on TAS.
"True life is but a multitude of infinite meanings."
Spell ya later!- Daiger
14DigiDayDreamerIt's okay, Belle. I don't mind the cliffhanger. Finally we meet Dravidar! That name sounds cool, but his attitude leaves a lot to be desired. Well, I'll profile the characters since you profiled mine which is appreciatively informative of you. I never thought someone would know the characters as much as I do.^_^
Cytosine: Yes, she has changed over night. Tough and brave but still a kitten inside. It's like she grew up from the journey. I can see how hard it is for her to dream something as horrible as a broken, harsh past. It was perfectly natural of her to do that to Dravidian, hating him because it was his fault and all. Somehow, I admired her courage for telling Drav about her past.
Dravidian: Hmm, he's become more caring of Cytosine than I thought he would be. Who knows? He's still an all-around good guy, er, dragon. Gee, you'd think his wing would have healed a bit by now or maybe it's because it's supposed to stay broken for the sake of the story. O_O Oy! I made a weird thought again. Beep. Dravidian is seemingly indestructible and- Beep. Huh? Did I just say that? *blushes*
Silver and Luna: What can I say about those twin felidas? Luna is a bit strange, though lovable in my opinion. Silver is acting more of an older brother now. And he's making witty remarks.^_^
That's about it, I suppose. Also I started making the second chapter of Dragon Warz 2. I hope I haven't made you and Dravidian too out-of-character (OOC). Also your brother draws very good, even better than me. *wistful sigh*
I hope Dravidian is all right. Doesn't anybody else get in danger aside from Dravidian and Cytosine? *pauses in shock* I just realized they have one thing in common: trouble.
LOL ^O^
*stops LOL* Seriously though, I'd want to know what happens next. *Imagines Dravidian beating up the Silver Fang. Muffled snickers then. . .* LOL!
*stops LOL* But still, doesn't the Silver Fang sound like a snake's name? Unless it's something with a silver fang, which I can't possibly imagine.
Drawing the characters? I think your brother's the best artist around. Maybe you could ask him about that. ^_^
Well, that's all I can think of saying now. Keep up the great writing! And thanks for the wonderful review on TAS.
"True life is but a multitude of infinite meanings."
Spell ya later!- Daiger
7/10/2003 c11 17Hawk Firelander
Oh no! Dravidian! *screams and hides* He isn't going to DIE is he? If you kill him I'll... I'll... stop reading the story! *threat threat* Agh! This story is SO good.
17Hawk FirelanderOh no! Dravidian! *screams and hides* He isn't going to DIE is he? If you kill him I'll... I'll... stop reading the story! *threat threat* Agh! This story is SO good.
7/9/2003 c11 2LazeyWinde
Ah! I was in a bad mood when I started, but when Silver said "That was... informative." I cheered up a bit. But now of course I'm back in a bad mood because you did another cliffhanger!
Well, interesting chapter. I'd like to find out what the felida did to make Dravidar so mad in the first place. *Pokes*
2LazeyWindeAh! I was in a bad mood when I started, but when Silver said "That was... informative." I cheered up a bit. But now of course I'm back in a bad mood because you did another cliffhanger!
Well, interesting chapter. I'd like to find out what the felida did to make Dravidar so mad in the first place. *Pokes*
7/9/2003 c1 Orion Alai
Very nice. I like it.
I'll take you up on that offer of a review for a review. Take a look at mine if you ever get the chance.
The first book is finished and I'm starting the second book soon.
Very nice. I like it.
I'll take you up on that offer of a review for a review. Take a look at mine if you ever get the chance.
The first book is finished and I'm starting the second book soon.
7/6/2003 c9 8A-wolf-called-Skya
I think you did the fighting scenes quite well. there were a few minor spelling mistakes in this chapter, but even when i use my spellchecker, there are usually three or four so... good job though! this is your best chapter so far, i think any way.
One spelling mistake was "Anyone of them. . ." When you use Anyone liike that, its wrong. this is the right way :"Any one of them. . ."thats the only mistake i can remember so far.
Chapter 10 up in The Untamed Unicorn. also, it will say their are 11 chapters, when its only ten, it will show one chapter ahead of the actual chapter. Pretty much, ch.11 doesn't exist yet. thats all! Rachel.
8A-wolf-called-SkyaI think you did the fighting scenes quite well. there were a few minor spelling mistakes in this chapter, but even when i use my spellchecker, there are usually three or four so... good job though! this is your best chapter so far, i think any way.
One spelling mistake was "Anyone of them. . ." When you use Anyone liike that, its wrong. this is the right way :"Any one of them. . ."thats the only mistake i can remember so far.
Chapter 10 up in The Untamed Unicorn. also, it will say their are 11 chapters, when its only ten, it will show one chapter ahead of the actual chapter. Pretty much, ch.11 doesn't exist yet. thats all! Rachel.
7/5/2003 c10 Alaurei
Ha ha! I've officially caught up! So many stories I've been reading but to tell you the truth, this one is my favorite! ^_^ I love all of the characters...well...except for those evil Dijernik things...scary I tell you.SCARY!
Anyhoo, I hope all is doing well for you and I love the story. I just have one, quick recomendation for you. Try to, while your working on each chapter, go back and read it, and then continue writting. I do this because it helps me not repeat myself. Like, not using 'immediately' and 'seemed' so much. I've just noticed that while reading. It just brings back a funny feeling because I do it a lot too! ^_^ so, just try and catch yourself if you can! It just makes the story flow a little more if your vocab. changes a lot. Otherwise, I bet no one would notice.
Hey! I've been mentioned. Thank you very much. Oh! I almost forgot. May I vote? If so, here is my character:
(of course...)
Dravidian!
^_^ (of course because he is a dragon)
Otherwise I'd have to say Luna because my little brother is such a crack up. Lol. Anyway, I'll try to e-mail you. Oh, by the way, if you by any chance are able to draw some of the characters for your story, I have a website that is dying for fan art. I only have one and that is Granar done by Daiger. If you want your characters up there, I take no credit and I leave the link for your story also so for anybody who visits, they'll most likely check out your story too! ^_^ Thanks again.
I hope you have a great day but I've gotta go!
Puff: Bye bye!
As he said, lol, bye!
-Nickel City
"To infinity, and beyond!"
Ha ha! I've officially caught up! So many stories I've been reading but to tell you the truth, this one is my favorite! ^_^ I love all of the characters...well...except for those evil Dijernik things...scary I tell you.SCARY!
Anyhoo, I hope all is doing well for you and I love the story. I just have one, quick recomendation for you. Try to, while your working on each chapter, go back and read it, and then continue writting. I do this because it helps me not repeat myself. Like, not using 'immediately' and 'seemed' so much. I've just noticed that while reading. It just brings back a funny feeling because I do it a lot too! ^_^ so, just try and catch yourself if you can! It just makes the story flow a little more if your vocab. changes a lot. Otherwise, I bet no one would notice.
Hey! I've been mentioned. Thank you very much. Oh! I almost forgot. May I vote? If so, here is my character:
(of course...)
Dravidian!
^_^ (of course because he is a dragon)
Otherwise I'd have to say Luna because my little brother is such a crack up. Lol. Anyway, I'll try to e-mail you. Oh, by the way, if you by any chance are able to draw some of the characters for your story, I have a website that is dying for fan art. I only have one and that is Granar done by Daiger. If you want your characters up there, I take no credit and I leave the link for your story also so for anybody who visits, they'll most likely check out your story too! ^_^ Thanks again.
I hope you have a great day but I've gotta go!
Puff: Bye bye!
As he said, lol, bye!
-Nickel City
"To infinity, and beyond!"
7/3/2003 c3 39zelle
omg! Sol...and Solana! I'm a-making connections here ^_^. I can tell so far that there's a reason why Dravidian and Cytosine have those markings...and it prolly has to do with Sol and Solana...and this is so cool ^_^. hehee. I liked the little fish escapade...Luna is adorable...he actually sort of reminds me of my little cousin (4 years old and doesn't sut up..EVER).
One wittle thing that sort of threw me off: "Luna glared down at his fish happily with a dreamy expression on his face"
i dunno...the glaring...with the dreamy expression...sort of contradicts, don't it?
then again, that's me being anal ^_^ so I'm going to, er, go and shut up now ^_^.
*looks longingly at the next chapter button*
*moves mouse to click on it*
*then remembers to pack for 3 days of dirt, grime and sweat (ie. CAMP)*
bah.
39zelleomg! Sol...and Solana! I'm a-making connections here ^_^. I can tell so far that there's a reason why Dravidian and Cytosine have those markings...and it prolly has to do with Sol and Solana...and this is so cool ^_^. hehee. I liked the little fish escapade...Luna is adorable...he actually sort of reminds me of my little cousin (4 years old and doesn't sut up..EVER).
One wittle thing that sort of threw me off: "Luna glared down at his fish happily with a dreamy expression on his face"
i dunno...the glaring...with the dreamy expression...sort of contradicts, don't it?
then again, that's me being anal ^_^ so I'm going to, er, go and shut up now ^_^.
*looks longingly at the next chapter button*
*moves mouse to click on it*
*then remembers to pack for 3 days of dirt, grime and sweat (ie. CAMP)*
bah.
7/3/2003 c2 zelle
Dravidian! And he has...a sun-thing! And Cytosine has...a moon-thing...hmm...connection? yes, yes indeed! ^_^. I really want to see where this goes ^o^. Man, and the twins are funny! Kind of remind me of Fred and George Weasley, if you've read Harry Potter. I don't know. I'd almost say they're my favorite characters here, but NO-ONE comes up to Cytosine ^_^.
and Cytosine had MOTIVE behind helping Dravidian ^_^. All in all, I think it was a banging chapter and I'm gonna read MORE! ;)
Dravidian! And he has...a sun-thing! And Cytosine has...a moon-thing...hmm...connection? yes, yes indeed! ^_^. I really want to see where this goes ^o^. Man, and the twins are funny! Kind of remind me of Fred and George Weasley, if you've read Harry Potter. I don't know. I'd almost say they're my favorite characters here, but NO-ONE comes up to Cytosine ^_^.
and Cytosine had MOTIVE behind helping Dravidian ^_^. All in all, I think it was a banging chapter and I'm gonna read MORE! ;)
7/3/2003 c8 8A-wolf-called-Skya
I don't no exactly is my fave character yet.
You had lots of small spelling mistakes. instead spelling at in one part, you went A. it was a whole bunch of little mistakes... Rachel.
P.S. Chapter ten hadn't been posted yet, sorry. You see, for some reason it says it has ten chapters when it only has 9. just ignore this.
8A-wolf-called-SkyaI don't no exactly is my fave character yet.
You had lots of small spelling mistakes. instead spelling at in one part, you went A. it was a whole bunch of little mistakes... Rachel.
P.S. Chapter ten hadn't been posted yet, sorry. You see, for some reason it says it has ten chapters when it only has 9. just ignore this.
7/2/2003 c7 A-wolf-called-Skya
hi! good chapter, except near the end of it, when Artemis was explaining the butterfly and Dravidan part, it got confusing. you never put " at the end of his talk, and Cytosine started talking right after! it happened all the way through. if one person has already talked, and you want to make the other reply, press enter about two times,then start writing what that person was going to say. thats all! I also have good news: Call To The Sky is finished! The last few chapters i will lengthen, and add more detail to later, but its done! See ya soon! Rachel.
hi! good chapter, except near the end of it, when Artemis was explaining the butterfly and Dravidan part, it got confusing. you never put " at the end of his talk, and Cytosine started talking right after! it happened all the way through. if one person has already talked, and you want to make the other reply, press enter about two times,then start writing what that person was going to say. thats all! I also have good news: Call To The Sky is finished! The last few chapters i will lengthen, and add more detail to later, but its done! See ya soon! Rachel.
6/30/2003 c1 39zelle
WAI! I'm so sorry I couldn't get to your story earlier *looks apologetic...crawls on knees*...but this rocks! ^_^ I especially like the use of *strikes pose...with claws* felines in this story...they make this ROCK (then again, I might be prejudiced considering how I'm a cat-lover and all ^.-)
"kittenness innocence and naïveté"..hmm...kittenness is a wittle awkward...maybe change it to kitty innocence?
besides that...no constructive criticism...damn you good authors! ^_^
39zelleWAI! I'm so sorry I couldn't get to your story earlier *looks apologetic...crawls on knees*...but this rocks! ^_^ I especially like the use of *strikes pose...with claws* felines in this story...they make this ROCK (then again, I might be prejudiced considering how I'm a cat-lover and all ^.-)
"kittenness innocence and naïveté"..hmm...kittenness is a wittle awkward...maybe change it to kitty innocence?
besides that...no constructive criticism...damn you good authors! ^_^
6/30/2003 c4 44Kerensky
Read chapters 3 and 4...Not much I can say except it is simply amazing. The legends of how the creatures came to be and Sol and Solana giving each type of creature different abilities.
I love how you brought in the Cerbereus and Hades(gotta love the ruler of the underworld :P). Anyway, love the story, it is fantastic...I have a long way to go to reach that level of writing..Hope to read more great stuff.
"The blood of countless warriors is in me, and I will not disgrace my heritage with my mistakes."
44KerenskyRead chapters 3 and 4...Not much I can say except it is simply amazing. The legends of how the creatures came to be and Sol and Solana giving each type of creature different abilities.
I love how you brought in the Cerbereus and Hades(gotta love the ruler of the underworld :P). Anyway, love the story, it is fantastic...I have a long way to go to reach that level of writing..Hope to read more great stuff.
"The blood of countless warriors is in me, and I will not disgrace my heritage with my mistakes."