for The Prize8/6/2004 c2 
3greMlin72
oh! scary! i'm on the edge at the moment... beautiful imagery again. i love it!
3greMlin72oh! scary! i'm on the edge at the moment... beautiful imagery again. i love it!
8/6/2004 c1 greMlin72
lovely, lovely, lovely,lovely. i do enjoy your writing, are you planning on being a writer? or maybe an author? you could be like the next J.K.Rowling...
lovely, lovely, lovely,lovely. i do enjoy your writing, are you planning on being a writer? or maybe an author? you could be like the next J.K.Rowling...
7/22/2004 c11 12Insanity Da Best Policy
Why do I have this foreboding feeling that A.J is someone who must be put in ‘danger’ list? Or his father for that matter … I feel Chase is sweet and erm … sexy? I like him! He’s dark and cool. I wish we knew more about him and there are more parts with him in it. I like the Mr. Nerd (Luke) too! He reminds me sometimes about myself. I dunno. Probably we share the same er … feelings? *heh* Luke and Nyah are cozy pairs. She’s like the dark beauty with great mysteries hidden in those eyes (sorry … I’ve an obsession for human eyes) and Luke’s just the cute, funny guy. It’s cute. I think that maybe Dan should be with Chase? I dunno. Maybe because I’m obsessed with him. (Now there are two obsessions of mine)
I read your other story ‘Trust’ and when I saw this story I was like … hey … isn’t she the same person who wrote ‘Trust’ and jumped right into this maze of mystery. But sadly in both the story … the girl suffers since there are two absolutely gorgeous men and she will at some point have to choose?
*Heh* All in all I love the story so far and have a lot of questions dealing with the plot so there is no use askin’ you. *Phew* that’s all for now. AND GET WRITING LAZY BUM! o;; Sowee!
12Insanity Da Best PolicyWhy do I have this foreboding feeling that A.J is someone who must be put in ‘danger’ list? Or his father for that matter … I feel Chase is sweet and erm … sexy? I like him! He’s dark and cool. I wish we knew more about him and there are more parts with him in it. I like the Mr. Nerd (Luke) too! He reminds me sometimes about myself. I dunno. Probably we share the same er … feelings? *heh* Luke and Nyah are cozy pairs. She’s like the dark beauty with great mysteries hidden in those eyes (sorry … I’ve an obsession for human eyes) and Luke’s just the cute, funny guy. It’s cute. I think that maybe Dan should be with Chase? I dunno. Maybe because I’m obsessed with him. (Now there are two obsessions of mine)
I read your other story ‘Trust’ and when I saw this story I was like … hey … isn’t she the same person who wrote ‘Trust’ and jumped right into this maze of mystery. But sadly in both the story … the girl suffers since there are two absolutely gorgeous men and she will at some point have to choose?
*Heh* All in all I love the story so far and have a lot of questions dealing with the plot so there is no use askin’ you. *Phew* that’s all for now. AND GET WRITING LAZY BUM! o;; Sowee!
7/3/2004 c11 Juicy-Fruit
I REALLY LOVE IT!REALLY! i really coudn't guess who really is the killer! at 1st i thought it was Chase cuz he seems weird but now i think it's A.J. cuz you know mostly the killer is the one who you'd least expect did those things. well for short...I LOVE IT!
Juicy-Fruit
I REALLY LOVE IT!REALLY! i really coudn't guess who really is the killer! at 1st i thought it was Chase cuz he seems weird but now i think it's A.J. cuz you know mostly the killer is the one who you'd least expect did those things. well for short...I LOVE IT!
Juicy-Fruit
7/2/2004 c11 Becca
hah, funny ending to that chappy right there! lol
hah, funny ending to that chappy right there! lol
4/18/2004 c11 7AerisGhost
Woah, its chapter 11 already? Last time I looked it was chapter... 10, but before that it was chapter 4. I must say this is turning out nicely. Don't let it go to your head, but anyone that can keep my attention for however-long-this-story-will-be is great.
I do, however, have one point of constructive criticism. KILL SOMEONE! Have one of the mirrors fall one the other blonde girl, or the Asian guy, or something. A suspense story without death and blood turns into something like ::shiver:: The Ring. God that was an awful movie.
Anywho, I babble. But seriously, about that keeping my attention thing. I meant it. I kinda have a short attention- Oo look! A squirrel ;) Just kidding.
7AerisGhostWoah, its chapter 11 already? Last time I looked it was chapter... 10, but before that it was chapter 4. I must say this is turning out nicely. Don't let it go to your head, but anyone that can keep my attention for however-long-this-story-will-be is great.
I do, however, have one point of constructive criticism. KILL SOMEONE! Have one of the mirrors fall one the other blonde girl, or the Asian guy, or something. A suspense story without death and blood turns into something like ::shiver:: The Ring. God that was an awful movie.
Anywho, I babble. But seriously, about that keeping my attention thing. I meant it. I kinda have a short attention- Oo look! A squirrel ;) Just kidding.
4/14/2004 c11 Arcia
Ah. I should have known that was going to happen...
This is great! Although right now, for some reason, A.J is really tickin me off...
Update soon, plz!
Ah. I should have known that was going to happen...
This is great! Although right now, for some reason, A.J is really tickin me off...
Update soon, plz!
1/31/2004 c1 StrangerDanger
U still got a lot to learn, very amateur
U still got a lot to learn, very amateur
1/28/2004 c1 storycritic
I thought this story was good but nothing really special, as I read I felt as if it was a mixture of a few Hollywood thrillers with nothing to make it stand out from all the other stories. The description however was quite good and seemed to be original.
I thought this story was good but nothing really special, as I read I felt as if it was a mixture of a few Hollywood thrillers with nothing to make it stand out from all the other stories. The description however was quite good and seemed to be original.
1/27/2004 c11 18Mysti San
Wow I feel like I'm reading a book here...you really know how to deal with suspense and mysteries! Especially at this point, where you're throwing suspicions around: on the one hand, Chase seems to be the reasonable one, but on the other hand, A.J. appears very sincere in this last chapter, so it's hard to tell who's the "bad guy" here. Although something tells me that neither of them is the "bad guy" and that they just don't get along...yet both seem to have the best in mind for Danielle.
Sorry, this is going to be a long review in which I ramble on and on about how good this story is.
I've already mentioned plot-like I said, very good with keeping us guessing and revealing a little more each time. Characters-all are very well-developed, unique, and quite real. I simply love Danielle and Luke-though not together. Don't worry-I understand the whole good friends opposite genders without romance thing oo; Lots of mysterious ones, like Nyah and Chase-and I like mysteriousness ^^
Good descriptions, spellings, and all the mechanical stuff that I'm really picky about o.o'
Gripping parts of the story that really draws readers in-well, at least, they drew me in ^_^; Like the two times Danielle -almost- died, and when Luke is -almost- caught.
Lovely romances :) Chapter 11 was just adorable...-sigh-
Anyway, I've probably scared you away with this great big long review of mine o.o' Just one last thing-take your time writing! As a young writer myself, I totally understand the stress of life and writer's block and other 'irksome' obstacles that stand in the way of updates. Plus, I'd rather wait a month for a really good chapter than a day for a, well...not-so-well-developed one. In any case, keep up the good work!
And seriously think about sending this to an editor. :)
18Mysti SanWow I feel like I'm reading a book here...you really know how to deal with suspense and mysteries! Especially at this point, where you're throwing suspicions around: on the one hand, Chase seems to be the reasonable one, but on the other hand, A.J. appears very sincere in this last chapter, so it's hard to tell who's the "bad guy" here. Although something tells me that neither of them is the "bad guy" and that they just don't get along...yet both seem to have the best in mind for Danielle.
Sorry, this is going to be a long review in which I ramble on and on about how good this story is.
I've already mentioned plot-like I said, very good with keeping us guessing and revealing a little more each time. Characters-all are very well-developed, unique, and quite real. I simply love Danielle and Luke-though not together. Don't worry-I understand the whole good friends opposite genders without romance thing oo; Lots of mysterious ones, like Nyah and Chase-and I like mysteriousness ^^
Good descriptions, spellings, and all the mechanical stuff that I'm really picky about o.o'
Gripping parts of the story that really draws readers in-well, at least, they drew me in ^_^; Like the two times Danielle -almost- died, and when Luke is -almost- caught.
Lovely romances :) Chapter 11 was just adorable...-sigh-
Anyway, I've probably scared you away with this great big long review of mine o.o' Just one last thing-take your time writing! As a young writer myself, I totally understand the stress of life and writer's block and other 'irksome' obstacles that stand in the way of updates. Plus, I'd rather wait a month for a really good chapter than a day for a, well...not-so-well-developed one. In any case, keep up the good work!
And seriously think about sending this to an editor. :)
1/18/2004 c11 MimiGhost
ABSOLUTELY LUV DA FIC
UPDATE ASAP
AND PLZ MAKE DA COUPLIN CHASE AND DANIELLE
I'M ALL 4 DA TALL DARK HANDSOME AND MYSTERIOUS TYPES
.
ABSOLUTELY LUV DA FIC
UPDATE ASAP
AND PLZ MAKE DA COUPLIN CHASE AND DANIELLE
I'M ALL 4 DA TALL DARK HANDSOME AND MYSTERIOUS TYPES
.