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for Dark Side of the Moon

9/21/2009 c1 5BlackTreaderWolf
Good :)
4/26/2007 c17 3Dragon2k3
"would be doing"-I think would should be could (LOL that rhymed)

"she pulled the large object open" sounds strange. Maybe it should just be door...

" think thatthe "-thinks that the

"fleeingcome"- fleeing come

"leaking with curiosity." do you mean looking? I can see how this can be figurative language but leaking seems kinda of odd.

That's all I got...Good work...and I'd like to say the ending made me go "OH SHI-". Keep it up!
5/16/2006 c16 lolomgwriter
Wow. Very very heartbreaking. I really love this update. Thank you. Totally delves deep into her mind. Its like she changed from a young girl into woman overnight. Trauma and terror everywhere. =x Its incredible.

Please please write more =D
5/13/2006 c16 5Shdwphoenix
Squee, you updated at long last! ^ ^

You did a terrific job of bringing Erin's feelings together in this chapter, like threads on a loom. It was a good recap for me and also a nice break from the journeying/killing plot. Also, it's just nice sometimes to know what's in a character's head, which you pulled off very beautifully. I especially liked the line about the 'gift of the full moon'.

I'm still eager to find out what'll happen to her and see if Terafu shows up again. Please continue writing. *bows*

-Shdwphoenix
1/17/2006 c15 3Dragon2k3
Glad to see you're still updating. Anyways here's some CC

"coins produce inside that bag when shaken."Should be "make" instead of produce

"But, the hard part was being able to stall her." I think you should reword this part of the line

"shrugged me off" ignored me seems more natural

"anywhere near within range of the thing."Anywhere within its range

"without bothering to climb"-I think this should go

"whole tail growth" drop whole
1/9/2006 c15 1scottgrubb
Those poor boys. :(
1/8/2006 c15 7billyez26
Damn good. I daresay, one of the best chapters I've read in this story. Great writing, the suspense of what was going to happen during Tobias's desperate stand against Erin was wonderful and engrossing.
12/26/2005 c1 lolomgwriter
a great story. very much worth reading. this is one of the few stories about werewolves that's being updated recently and will probably continue to do so. hoping to see (and read) more.
12/16/2005 c14 5Shdwphoenix
I absolutely love this fic! Recently, I've developed a liking for werewolves, not the bloodthirsty ones, but believably real people just trying to cope with life... And I thank you for providing me with just that kind of story. ^ ^

You've got wonderful characters, and I mean both villains and protagonists. I especially admire Erin's personality; she's strong-willed yet kind. I feel sorry for her, and yet I want to root for her whenever she's feeling down. You've got lovely talent to be able to create a cast like this. Your writing just flows so beautifully.

I'm eager to find out what happens next. Poor Erin... what will Marcus and Tobias do? If you have the time, please update. ^ ^

-Shdwphoenix
11/21/2005 c14 IndigoEyes
Very interesting story you've cooked up, I've enjoyed reading it so far. When you're able to update, please do; I really want to see what happens next ^^
7/13/2005 c14 3Dragon2k3
Hm interesting. I didn't really find anything wrong so I' don't have much CC but here's one thing:

'We’re hunters, you see, and we hunt animals in the woods and sell them into the nearby towns to make a living" I don't think you needed the "into the nearby towns" it read awkwardly to me. That's all I got. Sorry.
7/13/2005 c1 J.T.Moore
i think that it is great exept one thing werewolves change when they want to voluntarily but have no choice the three nights of the full moon before during and after. believe me i know
2/16/2005 c13 Dragon2k3
Interesting and quite unexpected.
5/8/2004 c11 Dragon2k3
Glad to see you back! Well here's some CC some of it's obvious(typos) but I just felt I should tell you to be as productive as possible
her face, which showed nothing but unconsciousness.-Sounds odd to me
"She then pushed herself off the bed, and as soon as her weight went on her feet, she collapsed to the wooden floor"-How about She pushed herself off the bed and stood on the wooden floor. Standing for only a moment before crashing down.
"a target because of that one fact"- This section sounds rather awkward.
the wagon early, was too great-you made a typo, the risk was too great
In Erin's note it says stick around, that sounds too informal IMO especially when the rest of the note is quite refined
4/27/2004 c11 RNX234
Definitely worth the wait. Good story, meaningful plot and characters, please update soon!
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