for Fate1/15/2009 c1 
76Cobster
I have completely surprised myself tonight. I logged into FictionPress on a whim, at about 3:00 am, and have been cybernetically romping around ever since. It's now 4:00, and this is one of the better things I've come across. The rhyme scheme's a little awkward at times, but since it was written five years ago, and the title's a little incongruous. But whatever. It was written five years ago.
That said, I can totally relate to this. I'm admittedly a young, stupid kid right now, but this just brought me back to the good ol' days when I was a younger, stupider kid, and believed that there was such a thing as young love, eternity, etc. What a thing to think, right?
Psh. If unapologetically investing all your being in love is stupid, then I don't want to get smarter. Everything in this poem is true.
All the best,
Cobster
76CobsterI have completely surprised myself tonight. I logged into FictionPress on a whim, at about 3:00 am, and have been cybernetically romping around ever since. It's now 4:00, and this is one of the better things I've come across. The rhyme scheme's a little awkward at times, but since it was written five years ago, and the title's a little incongruous. But whatever. It was written five years ago.
That said, I can totally relate to this. I'm admittedly a young, stupid kid right now, but this just brought me back to the good ol' days when I was a younger, stupider kid, and believed that there was such a thing as young love, eternity, etc. What a thing to think, right?
Psh. If unapologetically investing all your being in love is stupid, then I don't want to get smarter. Everything in this poem is true.
All the best,
Cobster
7/26/2004 c1 16RuathaWehrling
Hey Daystar! Long time no read (in other words, when are you putting out a new chapter?)
But I'll stop pestering and get on to my review for this poem. First off, you did a really nice job sticking to classical sonnet form (I'll let you get away with rhyming "holds" and "go", even). I really felt like I was back in high school lit class, for a minute there. Nicely done.
The one line I thought felt awkward was the first one, actually: "I heard a prideful aged once derive..." WHO did you hear derive it? A "prideful aged"? Is there a typo in there, or did you purposefully leave out a word for the sake of rhythm? Either way, it's rather odd sounding.
Beyond that, well done! :)
Ruatha
16RuathaWehrlingHey Daystar! Long time no read (in other words, when are you putting out a new chapter?)
But I'll stop pestering and get on to my review for this poem. First off, you did a really nice job sticking to classical sonnet form (I'll let you get away with rhyming "holds" and "go", even). I really felt like I was back in high school lit class, for a minute there. Nicely done.
The one line I thought felt awkward was the first one, actually: "I heard a prideful aged once derive..." WHO did you hear derive it? A "prideful aged"? Is there a typo in there, or did you purposefully leave out a word for the sake of rhythm? Either way, it's rather odd sounding.
Beyond that, well done! :)
Ruatha
6/26/2004 c1 2Dyyla Joi
Yeah... don't you hate how people- even those your own age... say you can't love someone because you're not old enough?
2Dyyla JoiYeah... don't you hate how people- even those your own age... say you can't love someone because you're not old enough?
1/15/2004 c1 10Luminarie
Ah first love... Ahem. Not bad, i also agree that it is foolish that everyone says it is impossible to love at a young age.
10LuminarieAh first love... Ahem. Not bad, i also agree that it is foolish that everyone says it is impossible to love at a young age.
4/8/2003 c1 5FlyingPhish
this is very sweet. The heart warming innocence is very appealing. Her innocence leads us to the fact that she has a very hopeful countenance and so defines the aspect of first love.
5FlyingPhishthis is very sweet. The heart warming innocence is very appealing. Her innocence leads us to the fact that she has a very hopeful countenance and so defines the aspect of first love.