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5/30/2004 c18 Aurora-Heart
darn...lol...i hate cliff hangers...same thing about the dividers...lol...dinn really is falling for rio...n i hope rio has her wits about her when she goes to venrics chambers...emperor or not he's still a guy...n he plans to make rio his wife...i cant wait to c wut happens next...update asap!
5/30/2004 c17 Aurora-Heart
lol...i like the guys reaction to the marriage...especially dinn's...this chapter was really good but just one thing...when ur changin scenes from rio & venric to the guys...could u put some kind of divider like the star or something so it doesnt become confusing...cuz at first i got pretty confused...but other then that it was very good...this story is progressing very nicely
5/15/2004 c16 Aurora-Heart
o so they recognized the arrow...cant wait to c wut will happen next...grammar wise ur still mixin up ur past and present tense but otherwise there were very few spelling errors and a very good chapter...keep up the good work...cant wait to read the next chapter
5/6/2004 c15 Aurora-Heart
more bandits come to kidnap her? hm...n wut of this young man?...the next chapter should be very interesting...very good context and hardly any spelling mistakes...just a few grammatical errors...no biggy...great job...update soon!
5/6/2004 c14 Aurora-Heart
so thats her real name...its kinda unusual for her nickname to be rio...lol...but i like it...im looking forward to the next chapter...n the details with the mother...very gruesome...i could actually picture it...*shivers*...creepy...mantella is a little freaky herself too...well on to the next chapter
5/6/2004 c13 Aurora-Heart
some grammar mistakes and spelling errors...but it definitely kept me on the edge of my seat...i cant wait to see where rio ended up...sry it took me so long to review
4/12/2004 c1 7Lightness
youve got an interesting storyline and the grammar is spotless. yaay thats awesome. the story is fast paced and a lotta fun. nice job with all that stuff. ^_^.
theres some things that need to be worked on thou. the story could use a bit of character development and descriptions. you need to elaborate on the characters descriptions more.. all i know about them right now is their names and what color their hair is. youve introduced soo many characters so early in the story. thats not a bad thing at all. you just need to develop them more.. get into some of their thought process or something.. make them more rounded. also, theres too much dialogue (but i guess that happens when there are many characters so nevermind). oh also, itd be nice to have a little more background information about this world. theres obviously some magic involved but itd be nice to get into it some more.
okay. its only the first chapter. im sure ill get a better picture of this world as i go further in the story but this is what ive thought so far.
well bye for now. ill read more later (oh. feel free to critique my story as rashly as ive done yours. it will be muchly loved).
4/6/2004 c12 Aurora-Heart
yeah! i like this chpater...the doll was just a bit creepy but thats ok...n the bite mark or lack of one was cool...but now there's nothing 4 me to read when i hav a free minute *tear*...plaease update soon! i really wanna c wut happens next!
4/4/2004 c11 Aurora-Heart
that scene between rio n dinn was perfect...kimberly locke's song came on at that precise moment n it was absolutely perfect...the writing was magical...it was really cool...now for the decomposing skull...the hooded figure guy...he was just creepy...lol...as well as the souls scrteamin for help...i think i would ave gone screaming into dinns arms...lol...wishful thinking...he really seems like a great guy...wut color r his eyes?
4/4/2004 c10 Aurora-Heart
o wow...y do the guys hav to get the wrong idea?...that sux...now they think she's the enemy n when they find out she isnt their gonna feel really stupid...was it the scorpion bite that made the enemy speak through rio?...isnt the bite supposed to be poisonous n kill her?...just curious...well im gonna read the next chapter now cuz i got some free time...sry about doin separate reviews...i dnt mean to annoy u
4/4/2004 c9 Aurora-Heart
this is starting to get really comical...lol...i love how ur developing this story n its characters...n now i no about how old they are form the begining of this chapter...cant wait to c wuts gonna happen next...lovin this story!
4/4/2004 c8 Aurora-Heart
cool...finally dinn sees rio in all (or most) of her glory as a princess...yet he doesnt no it yet...im mtotally addicted to this story now...gotta continue...i wonder how dinn will break off this engagament...he rushes into things...i would say something but i dnt wanna offend the guys so ill keep my commetns to myself...great chapter
4/4/2004 c7 Aurora-Heart
aw...dinn kissed her...n jus like a typical guy he's denying that it meant anythin more than jus savin her life...u no he liked it...lol...their falling in love...i love romances...im gonna read the next chapter now...geat job!
4/4/2004 c6 Aurora-Heart
o boy! where'd rio go? this is gettin really good...really fast...clearly u hav an active imagination and ur work shows alot of creativity...i really like ur story n i cant wait to c wut happens next
4/4/2004 c5 Aurora-Heart
nice chapter...intriguing...i wonder wuts up wit rio's castle...n when all of the guys r gonna realize shes a princess...dinn's destiny princess actually...lol...now i really like that orb...someone should make one in real life...could u imaginewut we could do wit something like that?...find missing people...find fugitives...never have to worry about getting lost and askin for directions again...it eould b amazing...cant wait to c wut happens next...ciao
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