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for Ready for a fall

8/8/2003 c1 104Cyanotok
Note: This is not a flame. Flame's are only good for roasting marshmallows.

Cons: A few grammatical errors, but nothing too bad. Try to avoid adverbs like "good-naturedly". They can detract from the story itself. Where was the story? If it was there, I missed it, so enlighten me, please (that was not sarcastic).

Pros: Interesting the way you capture human behavior.

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