for Oxford's Daughter and Edinburgh's Son4/10/2005 c10 
15Sahara Hayden
Wow! This story was incredible! I REALLY REALLY liked it. First off, you kept the action going, and held my attention. A lot of stories I've read don't have enough action and are all descriptions etc. and I get bored really easily. The plot was interesting, although it was really obvious that Mr. MacGregor loved Maragret from the very beginning. You created very strong characters as well. A job well done; capital!
15Sahara HaydenWow! This story was incredible! I REALLY REALLY liked it. First off, you kept the action going, and held my attention. A lot of stories I've read don't have enough action and are all descriptions etc. and I get bored really easily. The plot was interesting, although it was really obvious that Mr. MacGregor loved Maragret from the very beginning. You created very strong characters as well. A job well done; capital!
9/7/2004 c10 aims80 not logged in
Interesting story although that last chapter was pretty short. Good work overall though!
Interesting story although that last chapter was pretty short. Good work overall though!
11/27/2003 c1 43lronMaiden
yay PLEASE write more!
ps. lumanarann, back in those days, courting a girl was a serious matter that usually required the father's permission - get witht he times! hehehe
43lronMaidenyay PLEASE write more!
ps. lumanarann, back in those days, courting a girl was a serious matter that usually required the father's permission - get witht he times! hehehe
10/10/2003 c10 9lumanarann
cute ending-I love her father! he rocks!
but I was hoping she'd have one of those slap-the-slimy-worm-who-lied-to-you scenes and send Charles away with is tail between his legs. oh well. : )
overall cute story. I liked it.
9lumanaranncute ending-I love her father! he rocks!
but I was hoping she'd have one of those slap-the-slimy-worm-who-lied-to-you scenes and send Charles away with is tail between his legs. oh well. : )
overall cute story. I liked it.
10/10/2003 c9 lumanarann
Argg! you showed instead of telling again! don't tell us all that about when and why she loved him..or if you have to make it more subtle. I hate those paragraphs in romance stories. gr.
Why does he want permission to court her if they just kissed and declared love? usually it's 'I want permission to marry you.' but I admire that they want to give the relationship time. of course, that kiss indicates otherwise.
and please plz plz plz plz plz please! do not make this one of those 'I've loved you since I first saw you' stories! that's impossible! you can't love someone you have never met and know nothing about! that's ridiculous!
but I love his scottish accent and that poem is awesome!
Argg! you showed instead of telling again! don't tell us all that about when and why she loved him..or if you have to make it more subtle. I hate those paragraphs in romance stories. gr.
Why does he want permission to court her if they just kissed and declared love? usually it's 'I want permission to marry you.' but I admire that they want to give the relationship time. of course, that kiss indicates otherwise.
and please plz plz plz plz plz please! do not make this one of those 'I've loved you since I first saw you' stories! that's impossible! you can't love someone you have never met and know nothing about! that's ridiculous!
but I love his scottish accent and that poem is awesome!
10/10/2003 c8 lumanarann
you told instead of showing in this chapter; talking about Fred being angry etc. show us he's angry, don't come right out and say it. besides, what did he expect? any girl would be angry to discover her fiance is a snake.(sorry, I like animal analogies when I'm insulting people.)
why do all their servants have the same day off? not practical.
poor Margaret.
you told instead of showing in this chapter; talking about Fred being angry etc. show us he's angry, don't come right out and say it. besides, what did he expect? any girl would be angry to discover her fiance is a snake.(sorry, I like animal analogies when I'm insulting people.)
why do all their servants have the same day off? not practical.
poor Margaret.
10/10/2003 c7 lumanarann
I love it when they faint! it's so cute and ridiculous.
she's kind of an idiot, not to 'get his drift', but I guess she's just innocent.
why under the moon would Fred continue to give his cousin money if he knew about his cousin's lifestyle, which he must have if he could comfirm the rumors. and why was it only rumors about him skipping class..didn't his professors know?
this chapter had a lot of weird commas; your puntuation needs editing.
I told you Charles was a worm...and Fred too, for not telling her sooner.
I love it when they faint! it's so cute and ridiculous.
she's kind of an idiot, not to 'get his drift', but I guess she's just innocent.
why under the moon would Fred continue to give his cousin money if he knew about his cousin's lifestyle, which he must have if he could comfirm the rumors. and why was it only rumors about him skipping class..didn't his professors know?
this chapter had a lot of weird commas; your puntuation needs editing.
I told you Charles was a worm...and Fred too, for not telling her sooner.
10/10/2003 c6 lumanarann
Fred really is a worm too, to tell her best friend, think said friend won't tell the fiance the rumors about the man he's talking about, etc. (that was confusing, I know.)
why wouldn't he just tell her about Charles? she deserves to know! or at least tell her father, for crying onions!
P.S. Ewan McGregor is seriously cute...you should describe Fred somewhere in your story.
Fred really is a worm too, to tell her best friend, think said friend won't tell the fiance the rumors about the man he's talking about, etc. (that was confusing, I know.)
why wouldn't he just tell her about Charles? she deserves to know! or at least tell her father, for crying onions!
P.S. Ewan McGregor is seriously cute...you should describe Fred somewhere in your story.
10/10/2003 c5 lumanarann
I found this chapter confusing. How long have they been engaged..3 weeks? and yet her best friend doesn't know? don't they see each other at all outside of the balls?
why does Margaret like Charles..because he's handsome? you should develop her feelings for him a little more in previous chapters.
and ya, what a quick engagement! if I were her I'd be wondering why he didn't just wait to propose until he had a ring. she's really blind to his motives, and yet again, I didn't realize until this chapter just how infatuated she was.
I found this chapter confusing. How long have they been engaged..3 weeks? and yet her best friend doesn't know? don't they see each other at all outside of the balls?
why does Margaret like Charles..because he's handsome? you should develop her feelings for him a little more in previous chapters.
and ya, what a quick engagement! if I were her I'd be wondering why he didn't just wait to propose until he had a ring. she's really blind to his motives, and yet again, I didn't realize until this chapter just how infatuated she was.
10/10/2003 c4 lumanarann
WHAT? why on earth would she agree to marry such a worm? and with Fred there? I would have taken the oportunity to postpone the conversation.
I would change the 'kind of' to 'rather', or something else that fits the tone of your story better.
WHAT? why on earth would she agree to marry such a worm? and with Fred there? I would have taken the oportunity to postpone the conversation.
I would change the 'kind of' to 'rather', or something else that fits the tone of your story better.
10/10/2003 c3 lumanarann
I think Charles is a toad. he's too confident and obvious. I would slap him, not the other dude. Fred's cool.
I think Charles is a toad. he's too confident and obvious. I would slap him, not the other dude. Fred's cool.
10/10/2003 c2 lumanarann
this chapter needs filling out..and why did she let him read her book? she's crazy! and it must have been a very short story.
this guy likes to give sly glances, doesn't he?
this chapter needs filling out..and why did she let him read her book? she's crazy! and it must have been a very short story.
this guy likes to give sly glances, doesn't he?
10/10/2003 c1 lumanarann
I didn't like the sentence 'they heard footsteps..towards the parlor, which was where they were.' it was too awkward..you might change it to something like 'they heard footsteps coming towards them in the parlor.' overall pretty cute..I hate thimbles too. : )
I didn't like the sentence 'they heard footsteps..towards the parlor, which was where they were.' it was too awkward..you might change it to something like 'they heard footsteps coming towards them in the parlor.' overall pretty cute..I hate thimbles too. : )
10/9/2003 c10 sorcerer
this was a very sweet story, although maybe a confrontation between charles and margaret would have added some spark and substance. keep writing
this was a very sweet story, although maybe a confrontation between charles and margaret would have added some spark and substance. keep writing