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for Bad Outweighs the Good

4/1/2003 c1 33bex321
ooh! nice message, very sweet, but slow down on the actions scenes, it's a little hard to understand. a nice lil gem, nice use of foreshadowing.

torty

rtf,pp
4/1/2003 c1 1Icarus Sun
Very good. With a little bit more polishing, it could be stellar. It's hard to find pieces of good writing on FP sometimes, but your is an example that not everything posted is junk.

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