for Unexpected11/13/2006 c1 
5Heatless Flame
Ouch. This was darkly written, but also well-written. Not much to say, it was far too short, but you displayed excellent description.
5Heatless FlameOuch. This was darkly written, but also well-written. Not much to say, it was far too short, but you displayed excellent description.
4/4/2003 c1 2Aissatou
Its very dark... It reminds me of the dark side to my story. I can tell that you are a very articulate person.. and I'm sure you can tell I can't even spell it correctly... O well I'm not too terribly stressed over my bad punctuation and gramar... I can certainly tell you now what you are doing when you are writing. Some how I have great confidence in you. keep writing and add more to it... your problem is that you can never finish things. When it comes to Your writing I.N.V.U
hey check your e-mail!
I hope you can review the second chapter of 80Hg... I hope to send it out this Sunday.
toodles; what ever you want to call me... most call me a s h l e y p.
p.s. IM me sometime... HexiGeussWho
hey LOOk I misspelled guess :)
2AissatouIts very dark... It reminds me of the dark side to my story. I can tell that you are a very articulate person.. and I'm sure you can tell I can't even spell it correctly... O well I'm not too terribly stressed over my bad punctuation and gramar... I can certainly tell you now what you are doing when you are writing. Some how I have great confidence in you. keep writing and add more to it... your problem is that you can never finish things. When it comes to Your writing I.N.V.U
hey check your e-mail!
I hope you can review the second chapter of 80Hg... I hope to send it out this Sunday.
toodles; what ever you want to call me... most call me a s h l e y p.
p.s. IM me sometime... HexiGeussWho
hey LOOk I misspelled guess :)
4/2/2003 c1 Hele
there's a lot of questions in this, and that makes it veryy effective. And sad too. I always find it difficult to review abstract scenes, because the only thing that you can comment on is the quality of the writing, rather than how the story holds together. It is well-written, though.
there's a lot of questions in this, and that makes it veryy effective. And sad too. I always find it difficult to review abstract scenes, because the only thing that you can comment on is the quality of the writing, rather than how the story holds together. It is well-written, though.
4/2/2003 c1 4K.D. Boyd
I liked this story. It was short, but to the point. It was kind of confusing. Why did...Oh! I get it. That was an even more wonderful story now that I get why the attacker had a woman's purse! That was too good. Please read some of my stories and tell me what you think about them. I hope you like mine as much as I liked yours!
^_^K.D. Boyd
4K.D. BoydI liked this story. It was short, but to the point. It was kind of confusing. Why did...Oh! I get it. That was an even more wonderful story now that I get why the attacker had a woman's purse! That was too good. Please read some of my stories and tell me what you think about them. I hope you like mine as much as I liked yours!
^_^K.D. Boyd
4/2/2003 c1 DoubleHelix
Well...I dont wanna be harsh or anything so I'll try and say this without offending you.
This really isnt a story. Theres not alot to it...you have absolutely no idea about anything. However I do feel you have something here that if you took time on you could mold very well...This would be a great start to some kind of story, perhaps telling this mans life and what led to his death and all. But otherwise...this is just something you give to someone so they can start a story...
Its hard to understand at some points due to your choice of words (but I cant bitch because I tend to have my own form of the English language (I use words that mean something totally diffrent then what I mean)
Do this for yourself, take this, add on to it, make it into a story. You got talent, dont write something short like this and count it as your work.
Well...I dont wanna be harsh or anything so I'll try and say this without offending you.
This really isnt a story. Theres not alot to it...you have absolutely no idea about anything. However I do feel you have something here that if you took time on you could mold very well...This would be a great start to some kind of story, perhaps telling this mans life and what led to his death and all. But otherwise...this is just something you give to someone so they can start a story...
Its hard to understand at some points due to your choice of words (but I cant bitch because I tend to have my own form of the English language (I use words that mean something totally diffrent then what I mean)
Do this for yourself, take this, add on to it, make it into a story. You got talent, dont write something short like this and count it as your work.