for The Spider's Web7/29/2005 c1 
11Treg
Heeyy! my name is valerie! and i always date the bad boysz! :) ehehe!... UNfortunatly i know this guy kevin.. He sorta my stalker.. wont leave me alone.. gosh.. and he's fat! like 350 pounds! jeez~!
11TregHeeyy! my name is valerie! and i always date the bad boysz! :) ehehe!... UNfortunatly i know this guy kevin.. He sorta my stalker.. wont leave me alone.. gosh.. and he's fat! like 350 pounds! jeez~!
7/24/2005 c18 syrith
UPDATE!
UPDATE!
7/20/2005 c18 Skye
I love it! What more can I say?
Please update soon!
I love it! What more can I say?
Please update soon!
7/19/2005 c18 Chantel
I played they crimson room series a long time ago! An the viridian room as well... Tough break
I played they crimson room series a long time ago! An the viridian room as well... Tough break
7/17/2005 c18 morikoT
plz update soon! i love ur work but this was a bit confusing...so dom is dead? is sydney still w/ the game master?
PLZ UPDATE SON!
plz update soon! i love ur work but this was a bit confusing...so dom is dead? is sydney still w/ the game master?
PLZ UPDATE SON!
7/14/2005 c18 11Enigmatic Huntress
This just keeps getting better! Pushing Gabby off the cliff was funny but where is Gabby? I haven't heard of her in ages. Sean being gay was a nice twist and I really like Melissa for some reason. I think Sean might have to be the one to warn her about the gamesmaster as he is the only one who so far realises how dangerous he actually is. I actually thought Dom might have been about to say he liked Val(they would make a good pair) but I guess with the way he responded after his and Sydney's kiss I was wrong. The fight scenes are always really well written and her and Dom's duel was cool. If a bit short. Why does GM call her his raven? Is it just a pet nickname or something more? Where did he say he hate her if he loves her and she saved him? The kiss was quite sexy and I really got caught in the moment. I want Syd and the Gm to end up together but the way he's acting(especially with putting poor Dom in hell) might be ruining his chances slightly. Hopefully when all the questions get answered and her memory regarding Gm comes back things might be a little clearer. The story about Syd's stalker was intersting as was how her and Val met. Syd can really be antisocial and cold at times, can't she? But that's what makes her such a multilayered, intersting character. I love characters with faults and her and Gm def have faults! I enjoyed the slight bonding that seemed to be going on between Melissa and Syd. They are alike in a way and seem to almost respect each other. After reading in your authors note about the forbidden game books- I am really sorry for my question. But it just means you think along the same lines as a much loved, well paid, published author. How can that been a bad thing? It just means you have the creative ideas needed to appeal to a market. Anyway, this is quite unique from the forbidden game anyway. The whole computer interective idea is fresh and I actually prefer this and your characters to those out of the forbidden game. Which since Lj is my fav author- that is saying a lot. Besides, Syd is completely different and cooler than Jenny and since your characters aren't that much alike to Lj's- you have nothing to be depressed or worry about. This is still gripping and I love the games twist this chapter brought. On equick question. Was it programed that whoever picked up the cookie would have been shot or is the Gamesmaster trying to teach Dom a lesson? Is it a bit of both? I know the whole hell thing is the Gm but I just wondered about the cookie. Hope you update asap, luv Kaitx
11Enigmatic HuntressThis just keeps getting better! Pushing Gabby off the cliff was funny but where is Gabby? I haven't heard of her in ages. Sean being gay was a nice twist and I really like Melissa for some reason. I think Sean might have to be the one to warn her about the gamesmaster as he is the only one who so far realises how dangerous he actually is. I actually thought Dom might have been about to say he liked Val(they would make a good pair) but I guess with the way he responded after his and Sydney's kiss I was wrong. The fight scenes are always really well written and her and Dom's duel was cool. If a bit short. Why does GM call her his raven? Is it just a pet nickname or something more? Where did he say he hate her if he loves her and she saved him? The kiss was quite sexy and I really got caught in the moment. I want Syd and the Gm to end up together but the way he's acting(especially with putting poor Dom in hell) might be ruining his chances slightly. Hopefully when all the questions get answered and her memory regarding Gm comes back things might be a little clearer. The story about Syd's stalker was intersting as was how her and Val met. Syd can really be antisocial and cold at times, can't she? But that's what makes her such a multilayered, intersting character. I love characters with faults and her and Gm def have faults! I enjoyed the slight bonding that seemed to be going on between Melissa and Syd. They are alike in a way and seem to almost respect each other. After reading in your authors note about the forbidden game books- I am really sorry for my question. But it just means you think along the same lines as a much loved, well paid, published author. How can that been a bad thing? It just means you have the creative ideas needed to appeal to a market. Anyway, this is quite unique from the forbidden game anyway. The whole computer interective idea is fresh and I actually prefer this and your characters to those out of the forbidden game. Which since Lj is my fav author- that is saying a lot. Besides, Syd is completely different and cooler than Jenny and since your characters aren't that much alike to Lj's- you have nothing to be depressed or worry about. This is still gripping and I love the games twist this chapter brought. On equick question. Was it programed that whoever picked up the cookie would have been shot or is the Gamesmaster trying to teach Dom a lesson? Is it a bit of both? I know the whole hell thing is the Gm but I just wondered about the cookie. Hope you update asap, luv Kaitx
7/11/2005 c18 Kiki
I read all 18 chapters before doing this & i gotta start by saying, "omg, omg, & OMG!" The plot flow is awsome, i love Sydney's character; it just seems so well thought out. It's really smart to set Sydney next to Val (i especially loved how they met ^.^ cookies!) Dom is cool, too. I gotta throw some support to Sean's... er ... position, i think it worked really well.And as for the Game Master, like every other girl reading this i'm sure, i'm somewhere b/w wanting to share a milke shake w/him & wanting to throw one on him. He's hot (in so many more ways than one) & a very strong driving character. For him, you get a whole box of cookies, pluse a tall glass of milk to wash it down w/& a pound of strawberrys (just for the record, it don't get much better! ^.^)What's more, i'm dying to find out about their past relationship. Is he her previous stalker? O.O Will they end up together? O.O Is he really worthy of her love? O.O To put it shortly...PLEASE, OH PLEASE! finish writing it so i can finish reading it & retain my sanity! If you do, i'll give u a cookie... *waves the tantalizing, freshly backed chewy pastrie in front of you* lol. you know u want it... ^.^ please, for me...
I read all 18 chapters before doing this & i gotta start by saying, "omg, omg, & OMG!" The plot flow is awsome, i love Sydney's character; it just seems so well thought out. It's really smart to set Sydney next to Val (i especially loved how they met ^.^ cookies!) Dom is cool, too. I gotta throw some support to Sean's... er ... position, i think it worked really well.And as for the Game Master, like every other girl reading this i'm sure, i'm somewhere b/w wanting to share a milke shake w/him & wanting to throw one on him. He's hot (in so many more ways than one) & a very strong driving character. For him, you get a whole box of cookies, pluse a tall glass of milk to wash it down w/& a pound of strawberrys (just for the record, it don't get much better! ^.^)What's more, i'm dying to find out about their past relationship. Is he her previous stalker? O.O Will they end up together? O.O Is he really worthy of her love? O.O To put it shortly...PLEASE, OH PLEASE! finish writing it so i can finish reading it & retain my sanity! If you do, i'll give u a cookie... *waves the tantalizing, freshly backed chewy pastrie in front of you* lol. you know u want it... ^.^ please, for me...
7/10/2005 c10 Enigmatic Huntress
This is excellent. I was wondering though if you have ever read the forbidden game by LJ Smith? Parts of this just reminded me of it. In a good way. But it's only small things because you actually have a really quirky, unique plot going here. Sydney is really cool. I am really digging her temper and the fact she's attracted to him but not allowing herself to believe it. The Games master is really sexy and mysterious. But I feel sorry for Sean. He seems like a nice, sweet guy and all he's done is care for her. But the Games Master is cutting him and threatening him because of it. I love any chapter that involves Game Master/Syd interaction. But although I love the Games master and he adds spice to every scene he is in - the way he wants to have her all to himself is alarming. If she finds out about his threats to Sean I can sense some serious problems arising. Yay! Gabby is annoying but sweet. She' so innocent to the Games Masters trickery and the way he used her for his plan. Bless. I am curious to find out how G M and Sydney know each other, though. What memories has she forgetten about? How is she is salvation? Your fight scene was really cool and well done by the way. A lot of time and care has obviously been put into this and it is very well written. I need to go to bed. But I'll read and review the rest tomorrow. Luv Kaitx
This is excellent. I was wondering though if you have ever read the forbidden game by LJ Smith? Parts of this just reminded me of it. In a good way. But it's only small things because you actually have a really quirky, unique plot going here. Sydney is really cool. I am really digging her temper and the fact she's attracted to him but not allowing herself to believe it. The Games master is really sexy and mysterious. But I feel sorry for Sean. He seems like a nice, sweet guy and all he's done is care for her. But the Games Master is cutting him and threatening him because of it. I love any chapter that involves Game Master/Syd interaction. But although I love the Games master and he adds spice to every scene he is in - the way he wants to have her all to himself is alarming. If she finds out about his threats to Sean I can sense some serious problems arising. Yay! Gabby is annoying but sweet. She' so innocent to the Games Masters trickery and the way he used her for his plan. Bless. I am curious to find out how G M and Sydney know each other, though. What memories has she forgetten about? How is she is salvation? Your fight scene was really cool and well done by the way. A lot of time and care has obviously been put into this and it is very well written. I need to go to bed. But I'll read and review the rest tomorrow. Luv Kaitx
7/9/2005 c18 9Bleeding Air
First off, the Game Master has a brilliant personality, and you’ve portrayed him wonderfully. He’s built up a wall in front of him, just like Sydney has. While Syd’s front is anger and ooh-i’m-all-tough-stuff, his is an infuriating yet “loveable” cocky, amused, mysterious front. It’s just too good how he sometimes lets his emotions slip, and usually when he does, Sydney misses it. I love how you’ve given them both delving personalities; they seem so much more realistic that way.
I am a BIG fan of the Game Master. He’s—WOW. lol. Seriously, I love his character. I love his personality, his “mysteriousness”, and even the way he dresses. You make him sound delicious, :b
The first time I read the story (yes, I’ve read it twice! I told you I would reread it! Whee!), Sydney annoyed me sometimes when she’d randomly burst. One minute she’s calm, the next she’s spitting fire. The second time I read the story, I kind of found it more amusing than anything. It shows that, around the GM, she’s unsure whether to hate him or love him, but she goes for the former of the two choices because it’s safer.
I’ve got to wonder though. Is the GM the kid from the car crash you mentioned in the first chapter? It doesn’t quite make too much sense, though, since the GM claims that she saved him in the past. I don’t see how she could have saved him :S or maybe I’m slow. Or! Do we not have enough hints thrown into the story to make an assumption? Dundun!
Okie. I don’t want to make this too long in case you’re eyes are staring to hurt. . . haha. Let me just say that Gabby is at times annoying, and then unbelievably cute. She’s still helping the GM, isn’t she? I think you mentioned that the cave event with the GM was only one of the plans. maybe you didn’t, and maybe I’m delusional. haha, iono! But also! Dom is sweet! I like him. Is he gonna suffer some evil fate? I hope so, ‘cause I’m weird like that. But he better come out okay (of course, after getting dragged around in the dirt)!
Ooh, and I can’t help but add, The Crimson Room is great fun. I’m so interested in the next chapter because CLUES and BEING TRAPPED is a fun scenario, especially if it’s related to the Crimson Room series.
9Bleeding AirFirst off, the Game Master has a brilliant personality, and you’ve portrayed him wonderfully. He’s built up a wall in front of him, just like Sydney has. While Syd’s front is anger and ooh-i’m-all-tough-stuff, his is an infuriating yet “loveable” cocky, amused, mysterious front. It’s just too good how he sometimes lets his emotions slip, and usually when he does, Sydney misses it. I love how you’ve given them both delving personalities; they seem so much more realistic that way.
I am a BIG fan of the Game Master. He’s—WOW. lol. Seriously, I love his character. I love his personality, his “mysteriousness”, and even the way he dresses. You make him sound delicious, :b
The first time I read the story (yes, I’ve read it twice! I told you I would reread it! Whee!), Sydney annoyed me sometimes when she’d randomly burst. One minute she’s calm, the next she’s spitting fire. The second time I read the story, I kind of found it more amusing than anything. It shows that, around the GM, she’s unsure whether to hate him or love him, but she goes for the former of the two choices because it’s safer.
I’ve got to wonder though. Is the GM the kid from the car crash you mentioned in the first chapter? It doesn’t quite make too much sense, though, since the GM claims that she saved him in the past. I don’t see how she could have saved him :S or maybe I’m slow. Or! Do we not have enough hints thrown into the story to make an assumption? Dundun!
Okie. I don’t want to make this too long in case you’re eyes are staring to hurt. . . haha. Let me just say that Gabby is at times annoying, and then unbelievably cute. She’s still helping the GM, isn’t she? I think you mentioned that the cave event with the GM was only one of the plans. maybe you didn’t, and maybe I’m delusional. haha, iono! But also! Dom is sweet! I like him. Is he gonna suffer some evil fate? I hope so, ‘cause I’m weird like that. But he better come out okay (of course, after getting dragged around in the dirt)!
Ooh, and I can’t help but add, The Crimson Room is great fun. I’m so interested in the next chapter because CLUES and BEING TRAPPED is a fun scenario, especially if it’s related to the Crimson Room series.
7/7/2005 c18 NinjutsuMaster
Wow...just wow...that was so cool. You must finish this story! Please? If you do I'll give you a...a...cookie! Yes, a cookie! Now finish it!
Wow...just wow...that was so cool. You must finish this story! Please? If you do I'll give you a...a...cookie! Yes, a cookie! Now finish it!
7/7/2005 c16 NinjutsuMaster
This is very well written and makes want to continue reading it without taking any breaks...um yeah...really good...:)
This is very well written and makes want to continue reading it without taking any breaks...um yeah...really good...:)
7/6/2005 c5 snazzyauthor
Ha, as promised, I'm leaving you another review three chapters later ^.^ I'm really loving this story. Chemistry between two people=good ^.^;; I'm a sap for chemistry between people. Once again, keep it up, your story is fantastic so far.
Ha, as promised, I'm leaving you another review three chapters later ^.^ I'm really loving this story. Chemistry between two people=good ^.^;; I'm a sap for chemistry between people. Once again, keep it up, your story is fantastic so far.
7/6/2005 c2 snazzyauthor
Ah... I'm only on the second chapter, but already this story is amazing. You know how to captivate a reader at the very beginning, and you know how to add subtle hints foreshadowing an unpredictable twist (i.e., the hint that "Game Master" gave Sydney before her hostage situation), both of which are very hard to accomplish. Keep it up!
Ah... I'm only on the second chapter, but already this story is amazing. You know how to captivate a reader at the very beginning, and you know how to add subtle hints foreshadowing an unpredictable twist (i.e., the hint that "Game Master" gave Sydney before her hostage situation), both of which are very hard to accomplish. Keep it up!
7/4/2005 c18 Fan
Ah I love your story! Please keep writing I am eager to read the following chapters!
Ah I love your story! Please keep writing I am eager to read the following chapters!
7/2/2005 c18 1Dakota17Fallen16
I wiked love it!omg like totally awsome suspence and nice cliffhanger...although i havn't really written nething to this ive been reading through quite a bit of stories and you have my rapt attention...wow i love the virtual reality thing...thats definatly cool...and um well like just write more pls...ok well then ill be here...waiting...being stupidly dumb...oo do ya think i should put on a story i already wrote to see how people will react to it?...ok ill stop bugging ya...but i mean seriously can you add more in with the game master...?..like thatd be cool...and how come the people killed go back into another game?...that confused me i figured theyd stay dead...do ya think u could explain that or something...thats from my 6 year old part of my mind...geh i wonder y...im 15 so im an unbearable teen ok well yea buh-byes (wow im slow)~~Andrea~~
1Dakota17Fallen16I wiked love it!omg like totally awsome suspence and nice cliffhanger...although i havn't really written nething to this ive been reading through quite a bit of stories and you have my rapt attention...wow i love the virtual reality thing...thats definatly cool...and um well like just write more pls...ok well then ill be here...waiting...being stupidly dumb...oo do ya think i should put on a story i already wrote to see how people will react to it?...ok ill stop bugging ya...but i mean seriously can you add more in with the game master...?..like thatd be cool...and how come the people killed go back into another game?...that confused me i figured theyd stay dead...do ya think u could explain that or something...thats from my 6 year old part of my mind...geh i wonder y...im 15 so im an unbearable teen ok well yea buh-byes (wow im slow)~~Andrea~~