7/1/2005 c18 DemonicK
Nicely done, and I'm sorry this took a while for me to get to. It seems so strange to me, as Sydney is suddenly accepting the Game Master in part... but the one thing I have to wonder is, is it just a crush, or is she actually starting to fall for that side of him that seems to be in love with her, and is therefore softer?
Also, perhaps I'm just seeing things, but I believe that Sydney also has feelilngs for Dom, even if she's unwilling to admit it. Perhaps he's just a friend to her, my best friend is a guy, so that doesn't seem so strange. Either way, the Game Master is setting up a real record of paranoia— first her long time friend, now Dom? That leads to ANOTHER question, of course. Why the hell is he so paranoid about her, especially when she seems to be accepting him more.
I know this is Romance (and trust me, this is the only Romance I think I've ever liked... and I've fallen in love with this one, no pun intended because its stupid). However, even though it's rated like that, this has so much suspense and surprise. It's just impossible to see what's going to happen next, and I like that. Sorry that so much of this was just parroting things back at you, but I'm just writing what I see. Hope it's mildly helpful, or at least interesting for you to read. Wonderful, but that shouldn't come as a surprise anymore! ^_~
Nicely done, and I'm sorry this took a while for me to get to. It seems so strange to me, as Sydney is suddenly accepting the Game Master in part... but the one thing I have to wonder is, is it just a crush, or is she actually starting to fall for that side of him that seems to be in love with her, and is therefore softer?
Also, perhaps I'm just seeing things, but I believe that Sydney also has feelilngs for Dom, even if she's unwilling to admit it. Perhaps he's just a friend to her, my best friend is a guy, so that doesn't seem so strange. Either way, the Game Master is setting up a real record of paranoia— first her long time friend, now Dom? That leads to ANOTHER question, of course. Why the hell is he so paranoid about her, especially when she seems to be accepting him more.
I know this is Romance (and trust me, this is the only Romance I think I've ever liked... and I've fallen in love with this one, no pun intended because its stupid). However, even though it's rated like that, this has so much suspense and surprise. It's just impossible to see what's going to happen next, and I like that. Sorry that so much of this was just parroting things back at you, but I'm just writing what I see. Hope it's mildly helpful, or at least interesting for you to read. Wonderful, but that shouldn't come as a surprise anymore! ^_~
6/30/2005 c18 1Raomina
This is a suspense-filled and exhilarating story. I think this is the first sci-fic I've read in fictionpress and I must admit it is pretty impressive. There is alot of action and all the scenes were really well-described. I can imagine all the game scenarios very vividly and I enjoyed all the adventures tremendously.
Your characters are unique individuals and the plot is very creative and interesting. Overall, I can say that this is a very well-written story.
I really like the romance in it and I hope it can progress further in the next chapters. Update soon!
This is a suspense-filled and exhilarating story. I think this is the first sci-fic I've read in fictionpress and I must admit it is pretty impressive. There is alot of action and all the scenes were really well-described. I can imagine all the game scenarios very vividly and I enjoyed all the adventures tremendously.
Your characters are unique individuals and the plot is very creative and interesting. Overall, I can say that this is a very well-written story.
I really like the romance in it and I hope it can progress further in the next chapters. Update soon!
6/30/2005 c18 SmartassHampster
wow Great story! i just read from beginning to end! its a GREAT great story! a little confusing at times, but most of it is cleared up at some point, or i assume will be. great job keep going
wow Great story! i just read from beginning to end! its a GREAT great story! a little confusing at times, but most of it is cleared up at some point, or i assume will be. great job keep going
6/30/2005 c18 Lily Pierce
*shivers* That's creepy... The scenario, I mean. Particularly where Dom ended up. I hope you'll update soon, so we can see what happens next!
*shivers* That's creepy... The scenario, I mean. Particularly where Dom ended up. I hope you'll update soon, so we can see what happens next!
6/28/2005 c18 6Banana Nut Muffin
OH MY FRICKIN'GOD Your story is SO awesome, it's so cool. Keep writting
OH MY FRICKIN'GOD Your story is SO awesome, it's so cool. Keep writting
6/26/2005 c18 Suze
Oh this scenario sounds really intriguing and a little wee bit dangerous. Ok a lot actually; it hasn't yet started and you've already got me biting my nails. I mean, even though we all know you end up in the white room when you die, your narration of the scenarios is so real that I can't help but be nervous for Sydney. And Dom just going like that - bam! - was such a shock.
I am thoroughly impressed by this story and will seriously declare it the best I've read on FP.com as yet. Of course, there are the typical romances with lots of fluff that garner thousands of reviews (of which I also am an avid reader), but your story possesses so much originality and it shows that you've put a great amount of thought into your plot. Now, if only I could be so f-ing brilliant.
I don't remember if I've said this, but I can't say it enough, this is pure professionally crafted material that is worth being published and sold by the millions. And then you could maybe launch a writing empire like JK Rowling or even Dan Brown (Forbes 100 here you come).
Ok so aside from the well-deserved flattery that I haven't dished out very often, I'd just like to end by saying that, well, I hope the next chapter is as good as I think it is. I read the chapter a few days ago and forgot to review but just a mere glimpse at the last chapter to refresh my memory has got me bubbling with excitement.
Excellent work!
Suze.
Oh this scenario sounds really intriguing and a little wee bit dangerous. Ok a lot actually; it hasn't yet started and you've already got me biting my nails. I mean, even though we all know you end up in the white room when you die, your narration of the scenarios is so real that I can't help but be nervous for Sydney. And Dom just going like that - bam! - was such a shock.
I am thoroughly impressed by this story and will seriously declare it the best I've read on FP.com as yet. Of course, there are the typical romances with lots of fluff that garner thousands of reviews (of which I also am an avid reader), but your story possesses so much originality and it shows that you've put a great amount of thought into your plot. Now, if only I could be so f-ing brilliant.
I don't remember if I've said this, but I can't say it enough, this is pure professionally crafted material that is worth being published and sold by the millions. And then you could maybe launch a writing empire like JK Rowling or even Dan Brown (Forbes 100 here you come).
Ok so aside from the well-deserved flattery that I haven't dished out very often, I'd just like to end by saying that, well, I hope the next chapter is as good as I think it is. I read the chapter a few days ago and forgot to review but just a mere glimpse at the last chapter to refresh my memory has got me bubbling with excitement.
Excellent work!
Suze.
6/26/2005 c18 2Dr. Skittish
I love it! Please, keep it up. :) I can't wait to see more interaction between the game master and syd.. Maybe she'll even warm up to him a bit more?
I love it! Please, keep it up. :) I can't wait to see more interaction between the game master and syd.. Maybe she'll even warm up to him a bit more?
6/26/2005 c18 Aragwen
Hey glad for your sudden inspiration. really good. cahpter and it wasn't that short! lot longer than some i've read. I really liked the end, with the WELCOME TO HELL sign. kinda gave you a sense of dread. and the fortune cookie's message. can't wait to see what will unfold!
Hey glad for your sudden inspiration. really good. cahpter and it wasn't that short! lot longer than some i've read. I really liked the end, with the WELCOME TO HELL sign. kinda gave you a sense of dread. and the fortune cookie's message. can't wait to see what will unfold!
6/26/2005 c18 silkensilverberries
hey..i'm not too sure if i like this new scenario, and i have to admit, i'm slightly confused. the game master said that only three players would be able to leave the mansion, and only three players would be accepted into the Order. are those two separate..things? or is it that if they leave the mansion, they get into the Order club thing? i dunno, i was confused by that.
i loved the beginning bit of the chapter with ..(oh damn, what is her name?)...sydney (i'm ashamed to say i had to look in the story text to find her name..i knew it started with an 'S' but i was thinking of the name of one of my characters - Solaris...) anyway, with sydney and the game master in the hall. i like him more and more everytime a scene with he and sydney comes up. i think those are my favourite parts of this story. :D just cuz i'm a hopeless romantic, though. the rest of this story is absolutely fantastic. :D i really really love your writing style. i really like reading about sydney's thoughts and feelings, because it seems to be a completely original way of ..feeling, i guess. i know that it's not, but it's a bit different to me..not that my emotions are any less complicated or (damn! i don't know what word i'm looking for here! eerrggh...) lol. anyway...enough of that. i'm starting to make no sense.
btw, i really, really loved the last chapter. it was so good. i kept thinking of Pirates of the Caribean. lol. that's what it reminded me of. it was so well written and described and everything. it was amazing. ;) awesome work.
thanks for updating so quickly and for providing me with such incredibly enoyable reading material! *hug* loves,
*ssb
hey..i'm not too sure if i like this new scenario, and i have to admit, i'm slightly confused. the game master said that only three players would be able to leave the mansion, and only three players would be accepted into the Order. are those two separate..things? or is it that if they leave the mansion, they get into the Order club thing? i dunno, i was confused by that.
i loved the beginning bit of the chapter with ..(oh damn, what is her name?)...sydney (i'm ashamed to say i had to look in the story text to find her name..i knew it started with an 'S' but i was thinking of the name of one of my characters - Solaris...) anyway, with sydney and the game master in the hall. i like him more and more everytime a scene with he and sydney comes up. i think those are my favourite parts of this story. :D just cuz i'm a hopeless romantic, though. the rest of this story is absolutely fantastic. :D i really really love your writing style. i really like reading about sydney's thoughts and feelings, because it seems to be a completely original way of ..feeling, i guess. i know that it's not, but it's a bit different to me..not that my emotions are any less complicated or (damn! i don't know what word i'm looking for here! eerrggh...) lol. anyway...enough of that. i'm starting to make no sense.
btw, i really, really loved the last chapter. it was so good. i kept thinking of Pirates of the Caribean. lol. that's what it reminded me of. it was so well written and described and everything. it was amazing. ;) awesome work.
thanks for updating so quickly and for providing me with such incredibly enoyable reading material! *hug* loves,
*ssb
6/25/2005 c18 3Vaeleska
Game Master. sigh. He might be a bastard, but he's a hot bastard.
Hahaha. Update soon!
LuVies,
SPam
Game Master. sigh. He might be a bastard, but he's a hot bastard.
Hahaha. Update soon!
LuVies,
SPam
6/25/2005 c18 blah
currently confused about what the game master wants. hope you reveal all soon?
currently confused about what the game master wants. hope you reveal all soon?
6/24/2005 c18 8Insanity and Delirium
wOW,I'm so glad you started posting this story again, i love it! Please post more!
wOW,I'm so glad you started posting this story again, i love it! Please post more!
6/24/2005 c18 that-is-so-barbie
Well, obviously the Game Master is one heck of a guy.
Well, obviously the Game Master is one heck of a guy.
6/24/2005 c18 6Birds and Boats
yay, they kissed again, that is so wonderful. I feel sorry for poor dom, the game master isn't really going to be that nice to him. The game master is getting his feelings mixed up in his work, tsk tsk, well ta, write soon
yay, they kissed again, that is so wonderful. I feel sorry for poor dom, the game master isn't really going to be that nice to him. The game master is getting his feelings mixed up in his work, tsk tsk, well ta, write soon