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for To Save a Kingdom

3/12/2009 c2 earlkgm
the foreshadowing in the last sentence mad me sad. :(

but good use of it. :)
3/10/2009 c24 AJ southern
Aw so good and so sweet! Definately love this re-write! Sequel? Well done. : )
3/9/2009 c24 1Uniquely Proud
A great ending to a lovely story! :D
3/2/2009 c24 autumn-annette-19
Great story, keep up rhe good work.
12/30/2008 c24 DLETE THIS OLD
wow great story :)
12/26/2008 c24 terrorofthehighway

Not much characterisation or character growth, except in Drianna's case when she says no to Galen. And the whole Galen personality change is just so dramatic and unexpected its a Deux Ex Machina.

The Epilogue is just too fairytale like and not very appropriate- it doesn't gel with the rest of the story. An epilogue is to wrap up loose ends.

Drianna's improvement is also quite suspect. Why does she suddenly improve in both temperment and abilities during a few years? The whole story is not very emotional either- it doesn't draw the reader in.

And her mother says stuff like 'Tis' and mingles it with modern speech. It is not very realistic.

However- no major plot holes or grammar mistakes.
12/24/2008 c9 terrorofthehighway
Just started reading, and HAD to review here...

Sex is going to save a kingdom? What was she thinking? What's the point of having sex at this point in time? It is so anachronistic, that she gets involved just to A) shut him up, B) show that she loves him C) get laid?

She doesn't even say goodbye.

And as a noble, she should KNOW BETTER. Timmy would have told her in either case. Also, doesn't Havara have a practical side? Her personality is too idealistic for a girl who is supposed to be a leader. Why else would she hang around with Gadel?

If you change it, Gadel would say: "not here...dallying with a slave." Which would sound a lot better.

Also: not a lot of character development for Gadel here. Or anyone. And there are too few slaves (three) for a manor of the size described.

On another note: good writing.

Very disgusted with the sex.
12/18/2008 c24 justdazed
this is amazing. but is there a sequel?

im looking forward to read more of ur writings.:))
12/17/2008 c3 BOXCARZ
I'm really getting into this story! I'll read more later! I love this story a lot!
12/17/2008 c2 BOXCARZ
This story keeps getting better and better! You're an awesome author!
12/17/2008 c1 BOXCARZ
This is good
12/13/2008 c24 3Estelin
this was excellent. keep up the good work and writing.
12/10/2008 c24 Amora Lee
OMG I LOVED THIS STORY! I didn't think that I would like the parts where Drianna 'betrays' Gadel by falling in love with Shane, but Shane is definately the better choice. :D
10/27/2008 c24 Kaybookworm
W-O-W! I think that's all I can say. There were parts in your story that were a little discripive, (The Romace scenes) But every other part was wonderful. I kind of hope to see you come back and right again to! Great job!
8/14/2008 c23 atreyu love
Gadel lived, but he lived a sad life.

and him talking to Sprites?

i feel bad for him because he still loved her

even after all that happened.
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