for If I Said I Love You6/8/2006 c6 chevy-luv
This is a really good but sad story.
This is a really good but sad story.
9/12/2005 c11 leia
oh come on that is one hell of a cliffhanger! please updatesoon! brilliant story so touching!
oh come on that is one hell of a cliffhanger! please updatesoon! brilliant story so touching!
7/1/2005 c11 
2FluffynessPookykins
Ok, it is good and I like the story, but certain things are unrealistic, basically just what I mentioned in my last review. My sister had heart failure when she was young and she had to be in a hospital for a month and she didn't even need a transplant. Your Julie would not be able to have a normal "up and about" life let alone have sex if her heart condition were serious enough to need a transplant.
And you use lots of the same descriptive terms over and over again. For example "plush lips". I dont know about you but when I heat the word plush I think of home depot ('plush' carpets, "make sure when you install your sink that the rim is 'plush' with the counter top") plush means smooth and I think that if you exchanged the "plush" with the "smooth" a couple of times it would be better. Also you refer to nick's tongue as a velvety snake several times. And you describe all of their make-out sessions as wrestling matches. that sounds kinda violent to me. is he trying to kill her? maybe describing is as a dance or something would be better. there are a few others too.
But anyways, your overall writing style is very good and your romance under the circumstances is good. It isnt too fluffy or sappy, but it isnt cold and detetched either. And I like the little parts when nick is walking in the rain by himself. the story reminds me of a cross between the movies "Moulin Rouge" and "Return to Me".
well good luck
email me if you want me to elaborate, you want suggestions, or you want to bitch me out. selkie6 @ yahoo.com
best wishes
2FluffynessPookykinsOk, it is good and I like the story, but certain things are unrealistic, basically just what I mentioned in my last review. My sister had heart failure when she was young and she had to be in a hospital for a month and she didn't even need a transplant. Your Julie would not be able to have a normal "up and about" life let alone have sex if her heart condition were serious enough to need a transplant.
And you use lots of the same descriptive terms over and over again. For example "plush lips". I dont know about you but when I heat the word plush I think of home depot ('plush' carpets, "make sure when you install your sink that the rim is 'plush' with the counter top") plush means smooth and I think that if you exchanged the "plush" with the "smooth" a couple of times it would be better. Also you refer to nick's tongue as a velvety snake several times. And you describe all of their make-out sessions as wrestling matches. that sounds kinda violent to me. is he trying to kill her? maybe describing is as a dance or something would be better. there are a few others too.
But anyways, your overall writing style is very good and your romance under the circumstances is good. It isnt too fluffy or sappy, but it isnt cold and detetched either. And I like the little parts when nick is walking in the rain by himself. the story reminds me of a cross between the movies "Moulin Rouge" and "Return to Me".
well good luck
email me if you want me to elaborate, you want suggestions, or you want to bitch me out. selkie6 @ yahoo.com
best wishes
7/1/2005 c8 FluffynessPookykins
hm... quick question, if she needs a heart transplant that badly then why isnt she in the hospital? and also why would she have been able to have sex. That would have been very dangerous.
hm... quick question, if she needs a heart transplant that badly then why isnt she in the hospital? and also why would she have been able to have sex. That would have been very dangerous.
2/8/2005 c11 1SiobhanO
OMG! cliff hanger. this story is AMAZING. please please please let julie be okay. please update soon :)
1SiobhanOOMG! cliff hanger. this story is AMAZING. please please please let julie be okay. please update soon :)
7/2/2003 c11 obi's girl
WOW! This is such a great story! Very touching and well written, and let me tell you I read all the chapters in one read, I just couldn't stop. Great plot with great characters. I hope you update pretty soon because the suspence is killing me! Thanks and keep up the good work! :
WOW! This is such a great story! Very touching and well written, and let me tell you I read all the chapters in one read, I just couldn't stop. Great plot with great characters. I hope you update pretty soon because the suspence is killing me! Thanks and keep up the good work! :
6/9/2003 c11 10ikeeponfallin
she's not really gonna die is she?
i hope not...
ne who.. i really like this story! please continue soon!
10ikeeponfallinshe's not really gonna die is she?
i hope not...
ne who.. i really like this story! please continue soon!
6/9/2003 c11 Molly
Whoa!...Okay the only thing I can think of to make it better is to allow Julie to live... I think it would be horrible to kill her off... Then again I'm a sucker for happy endings...Keep on writing I wanna know what happens.
~Molly
Whoa!...Okay the only thing I can think of to make it better is to allow Julie to live... I think it would be horrible to kill her off... Then again I'm a sucker for happy endings...Keep on writing I wanna know what happens.
~Molly
6/9/2003 c11 Melissa
NO how could you leave it there? This is so good, Update soon, I can't wait very long. I'm an impatient person when it comes to good stories, and this one is amazing. Please post another chapter!
NO how could you leave it there? This is so good, Update soon, I can't wait very long. I'm an impatient person when it comes to good stories, and this one is amazing. Please post another chapter!
5/23/2003 c10 ikeeponfallin
*screams repeadedly* OMG! YAY! lol okay.. i'm calm now... lol but i'm so happy! that's great! it really is... update soon!
*screams repeadedly* OMG! YAY! lol okay.. i'm calm now... lol but i'm so happy! that's great! it really is... update soon!
5/12/2003 c9 ikeeponfallin
it's so sad that she's dieing... please tell me there's gonna be a plot twist and she's gonna find a doner...
it's so sad that she's dieing... please tell me there's gonna be a plot twist and she's gonna find a doner...
5/6/2003 c8 snowtiger13731
this is good! it's really deep and not just the average high school romance type thing. pls keep going. i'm sorry i haven't reviewed b4, well, actually, i don't know if i have, but i kinda missed this chapter somehow. update soon!
this is good! it's really deep and not just the average high school romance type thing. pls keep going. i'm sorry i haven't reviewed b4, well, actually, i don't know if i have, but i kinda missed this chapter somehow. update soon!