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for All About You Part II

6/28/2013 c17 Secrets
*sniff* that was *sniff* wonderful. So wonderful that I'm crying...ok kidding I'm not really crying;) hehehehe
6/28/2013 c14 Secrets
WTH dude? U've been using the same preview for 3 chap's already!
6/28/2013 c13 SecretS
It's John, isn't it?
6/28/2013 c12 Secrets
Omg cantvwait to read the next chapter!
6/26/2013 c3 Secrets
Omg omg she's gonna end up with Ashton this time right?
1/23/2013 c17 Beautiful Kaos
Well it was a good story but I have to say I was a little annoyed with all the review responses in every chapter. It seemed like there was more of them than the actual story. So yeah, other than that I enjoyed it.
12/3/2012 c17 brinalovesyouxx
Perfect! I never really liked Devon that much and when Ashton came into the picture, my vote was definitely for him.. All the way :) awesome job on the story and i look forward to reading more :D xx
9/18/2012 c17 Annabelle James
I love this story... I even read it in class! I dot read Fiction Press... Like EVER. But this story... SO worth it. I was Team Ashton the whole way!
8/14/2012 c17 AnonymousReads
Ashton is my favorite character i wish he was real, sophie is just a bit too naive for me to like her, i liked ryan better in the last one but that may just be because he was involved more, devon is well still have the same opinion of him as i did in the first one when i reviewed, lor and griffin were left hanging, and what happened to alicia? I did like this story especially the parts where ashton took care of her. I read it cause i thought it would be good and liked it because it had original plot and cool characters ashton i think i am in love with. Great story. :)
7/26/2012 c17 if.eyes.could.speak
Oh thank god Sophie ended up with Ashton. I absolutely hates Devon he was such a freakin prima Donna who only thought about himself. Anyway, I loved the story especially the second part!
7/10/2012 c17 The Quotidian Life
I prefer this ending much more over the other one. I guess I was a shipper for Ashton the whole time :) well written

6/28/2012 c8 Percabethgirl2645
What happened to ashton and Marsha?
12/21/2011 c17 Mirji
First off congratulations on finishing All About You and its sequel. Your stories are extremely well written. I do not think that I have seen any others on this site that were so well put together. You are an extrememly eloquent writer.

Now before I continue with my lovely review, I wanted to tell you that I normally don't review stories in general unless I have been floored by how outstanding it was or if there is something that I wanted to point out that I would think the author would find useful.

In your case, it's both.

These are just suggestions. You are the writer, therefore you do what you think suits you, your creativity and your story best.

First off, the use of the word "like". I found it very redundant with how much it was used. Granted it dropped dramamtically in the sequel. Apart from that it was used far too much. It makes you, as a writer, lose some creditability. Why? I speak from personal experience. In California (this is where I live) "like" is very often used because people just can't find the word they acctually want to use. It sounds natural because we're so used to it but if we were to listen closely, it sounds awkward. Same thing applies to writing only it stands out more. Every time I came across multiple "likes" in one sentence, I payed more attention to that and the sentence became awkward and just annoying. Also it goes against the characters' personalities. Sophie is described as intelligent and it's evident when you hear what she is thinking. But when she talks and uses "like", the reader questions her intelligence. Same thing applies to Ashton. It just seemed so out of character. Breigh or even Devon seemed more like the type.

The next thing I wanted to talk about was when you go into uneccessary detail about what people are wearing or what brand something is. You don't have to talk about every detail of the character's clothing. Only if the clothing is part of the character's personality. Take Ashton for example. You said he wore a leather jacket, that helped the reader in imagining him and develop his personality as a rebel. You don't have to give every insignificant detail. As for giving out brand names, it's very random and unecessary. The reader doesn't care.

Another thing that I noticed was that your endings, to both your stories, seemed rushed. They were still good, just rushed.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about your author notes. They. Are. Long. And they're all responses to your reviewers. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that you take your time to read each review and then respond to it. It shows much appreciation towards your readers and not many authors do that. I applaude you. But in all honesty, many times I considered giving up on your story because these responses are so long. Your responses take up more space than the actual content in the book. They take up space in the story and anyone looking for a story will think that this one is very long when in actuality, it's full of responses to reviewers. It's quite aggravating really and I am 100 percent sure that many other people thought so to. What I suggest you that you do is that you click on the "respond" icon next to each review and respond to them that way. Or you can private message those who have accounts.

I truly hope that you don't take this review as insulting because that was no where near my intention. When I review, I am as honest as I can be. I think you are an amazing writer and I only wanted to help. If you don't like my suggestions, then that is just fine because, like I said before, it is your story and your creativity. Here you are the only one incharge of it. I won't suddenly hate your story just because you didn't agree with me. Your story will still be outstanding and I will love it just as much.


10/24/2011 c17 4wakeyourdreamz
I abso-positively loved it!

I read the 'ending' this morning and then when it continued...I was like, oh wow, that was really weird. Cause that ending with her and Dev was perfect you know, it was how I completely expected the story to end, but, just quietly, I read a couple reviews to see how the story was and people were all 'I'm so glad she got with Ashton.." and I started reading and I was like, 'OHNOES' cause they were both such good guys...kind of, and how were you going to break Ashtons heart like that, but it was just like one big story with two happy endings! Kind of like two chapters in her life.

It was so great!

I love Ashton and Soph was such a great protagonist, her personality was darling~
9/8/2011 c17 WhispersOfmyHeart
loved it but hated devon for cheating i guess we all knew Ashton was the one deep down
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