for Corruption8/4/2003 c1 Mekora
hey look im reviewing! ;) i loved it. great story, one thats actually finished. lol. loved it again. dont know what else to say but you know me. you got me to want to read more so you know what, i am! see ya.
hey look im reviewing! ;) i loved it. great story, one thats actually finished. lol. loved it again. dont know what else to say but you know me. you got me to want to read more so you know what, i am! see ya.
7/17/2003 c1 
14InMemoryofPhil
...holy cow. i would do something about my paragraphs. u know, space 'em out a little by saving it as a webpage or an html document or something. & if u don't have that option, do what i do (cuz i don't have that option, either) add an extra space on your own. it's good so far, but i would fix that b4 u do anything else to make it easier to read.
14InMemoryofPhil...holy cow. i would do something about my paragraphs. u know, space 'em out a little by saving it as a webpage or an html document or something. & if u don't have that option, do what i do (cuz i don't have that option, either) add an extra space on your own. it's good so far, but i would fix that b4 u do anything else to make it easier to read.
7/17/2003 c1 lia
Hey thanks agian for the review. interesting story. watch your choice of vocab tho, because you repeated words like 'hundreds' twice in as many sentences. that can be monotunous. unles thats what you wanted. lia
Hey thanks agian for the review. interesting story. watch your choice of vocab tho, because you repeated words like 'hundreds' twice in as many sentences. that can be monotunous. unles thats what you wanted. lia
7/17/2003 c1 Tangle Elftree
Great story!
Plz fix the formatting tho.
Also, what did you mean I didn't answer any questions?
Great story!
Plz fix the formatting tho.
Also, what did you mean I didn't answer any questions?
7/9/2003 c1 55The Watched
Wow, I enjoyed reading this! You seem to know what you're doing and be inventive. It would be good as a stand alone or as a full story, so if it's the latter I can't wait to read more :)
(PS: I also figured out who died in Harry Potter, but it still made me cry! Am I mad?)
55The WatchedWow, I enjoyed reading this! You seem to know what you're doing and be inventive. It would be good as a stand alone or as a full story, so if it's the latter I can't wait to read more :)
(PS: I also figured out who died in Harry Potter, but it still made me cry! Am I mad?)
5/15/2003 c1 12Naamela
Hi, it's me, Scotia Li. Thankies for reviewing my story, so this one's right back at ya.
First of all, let me say that your writing style is really good. You start with a catching introduction, and don't let the readers' attention sag until the very last word. Very few authors can pull that off.
This particular work, however, was a little too much like George Orwell's _1984_ to suit my tastes (you've read it, right?). The TVs everywhere, the fugitive motive, even the name Clayton (Orwell's hero was named Winston)-a bit too close for comfort, but no big deal.
One last thing-use more paragraphs! It's hard to read!
Great short story. Get a title. And get more people to read it-they really should! ^-^
SCOTIA LI
12NaamelaHi, it's me, Scotia Li. Thankies for reviewing my story, so this one's right back at ya.
First of all, let me say that your writing style is really good. You start with a catching introduction, and don't let the readers' attention sag until the very last word. Very few authors can pull that off.
This particular work, however, was a little too much like George Orwell's _1984_ to suit my tastes (you've read it, right?). The TVs everywhere, the fugitive motive, even the name Clayton (Orwell's hero was named Winston)-a bit too close for comfort, but no big deal.
One last thing-use more paragraphs! It's hard to read!
Great short story. Get a title. And get more people to read it-they really should! ^-^
SCOTIA LI