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1/9/2004 c1 39zelle
*holds breath*
Dear, that was gorgeous. Slightly creepy in all it's stealth, but it SPEAKS, man.
*applauds*
1/7/2004 c1 107A. Bush
I loved the visual words, i could see everything you described. Lovely
6/20/2003 c1 5PlayMateMisfit
wow,- i like and can relate. ^-^ keep thoughts on paper

~misfit
5/19/2003 c1 40Special K Birmingham
...so many images...

Beautiful images...

But horrible...

OK now I've finished my erratic punctuation.

Keri
4/30/2003 c1 8TDL
Very good. Strikingly familiar to how I feel at times, in both roles. Keep up the good work! =)

Toora!

~Tabitha, The Mad Hatter
4/30/2003 c1 6Noseman
In general I really enjoyed this poem. The imagery is as you said, a bit creepy. Which in a way is quite cool. It is hard to stir emotions like that in a poem. But the rhythm is a bit choppy. Maybe its just my reading of it but the constant short lines seemed to impose to choppy a rhythm for the images you were creating. Example... if I were writing about a battle I would use short and choppy because it conveyes a sense of quickness or urgentness. If I'm writing about a peaceful winter scene I'd go for smooth rhythm with elongated lines or stanzas to convey that sense of solitude and peace. Just something to bear in mind. Like I said. I may have read it wrong. Thats the only real problem with having to read another authors work...usually never get it right. Anyquestions just shoot me an email I think its on my bio page

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