for Lies of the Heart12/25/2008 c1 Kalypsopurple
Hm... I'm currently reading the Executioners, and liked it so far. So I thought I'd give this a shot. Interesting beginning!
Hm... I'm currently reading the Executioners, and liked it so far. So I thought I'd give this a shot. Interesting beginning!
10/1/2007 c18 
2chasing givenchy
I never thought writing in first-person was actually quite hard. It's a lot like third-person-limited, but easier.
But I loved this story. I loved the humour, and I absolutely agree that this pretty relatable. (No, I'm not in my last year of high school or anything, but I've pretty much had the same experience with the bitches that our school breeds. Half the time whatever Do-I-Look-Like-I-Care thing I say to them, doesn't sound so menacing in retrospect.)
Natalie was beautifully believable, although hideously dense and naïve for her age; Sam is the one I relate to better. Anyway.
A couple of VERY interesting twists-in-the-tale, although they were all pretty predictable. Crush likes best friend, best friend doesn’t reciprocate, other best friend is actually head-over-heels, crush has a change of mind, I finally realize I'm an idiot and go for the first man who ever loved me— too obvious at times.
Normally I'd croak off like a bullfrog at the sight of so many clichés, but your style of writing, the typical teenager-ish-ness, the humour interspersed with the drama, is pretty much more sustaining than an extra-large mug of coffee. Personally I think I'm lucky to have read this as a nice, long continuous story. I hope you write more in the same league.
2chasing givenchyI never thought writing in first-person was actually quite hard. It's a lot like third-person-limited, but easier.
But I loved this story. I loved the humour, and I absolutely agree that this pretty relatable. (No, I'm not in my last year of high school or anything, but I've pretty much had the same experience with the bitches that our school breeds. Half the time whatever Do-I-Look-Like-I-Care thing I say to them, doesn't sound so menacing in retrospect.)
Natalie was beautifully believable, although hideously dense and naïve for her age; Sam is the one I relate to better. Anyway.
A couple of VERY interesting twists-in-the-tale, although they were all pretty predictable. Crush likes best friend, best friend doesn’t reciprocate, other best friend is actually head-over-heels, crush has a change of mind, I finally realize I'm an idiot and go for the first man who ever loved me— too obvious at times.
Normally I'd croak off like a bullfrog at the sight of so many clichés, but your style of writing, the typical teenager-ish-ness, the humour interspersed with the drama, is pretty much more sustaining than an extra-large mug of coffee. Personally I think I'm lucky to have read this as a nice, long continuous story. I hope you write more in the same league.
8/30/2007 c18 1arohalove
This is one of the best stories I have ever read on this site! You told everything so perfectly. I love the narrative, I love the characters (thank you for making the most perfect and realistic best friend in Sam. She's amazing!) and I especially love that your ending didn't disappoint or leave annoying loose ends. Where most people fizzle out by the conclusion, yours was completely satisfying. I want to say so much more but I've stayed up until 3 am reading this and must sleep now.
This is a favorite.
1arohaloveThis is one of the best stories I have ever read on this site! You told everything so perfectly. I love the narrative, I love the characters (thank you for making the most perfect and realistic best friend in Sam. She's amazing!) and I especially love that your ending didn't disappoint or leave annoying loose ends. Where most people fizzle out by the conclusion, yours was completely satisfying. I want to say so much more but I've stayed up until 3 am reading this and must sleep now.
This is a favorite.
8/26/2007 c18 CanesFanCatty
wow, this story was so great! I loved reading it, and the ending was fantastic!
:D
wow, this story was so great! I loved reading it, and the ending was fantastic!
:D
6/11/2007 c12 cringeynostalgia
Oh wow. I am now officially your biggest fan. X3 I adore how you make your main character so deliciously..real! It's quite hard to do, let me tell you! You've made her like a real person, with the boy obsession and jealousy, even playing her best friend to get the guy. It's not exactly the most noble thing to do, but that's why I love it! Main characters can't always be heroic and perfect and lovely! You are a master characterization..er. XD Off to read the rest!
Oh wow. I am now officially your biggest fan. X3 I adore how you make your main character so deliciously..real! It's quite hard to do, let me tell you! You've made her like a real person, with the boy obsession and jealousy, even playing her best friend to get the guy. It's not exactly the most noble thing to do, but that's why I love it! Main characters can't always be heroic and perfect and lovely! You are a master characterization..er. XD Off to read the rest!
4/21/2007 c18 9hilaryjojo
I read this whole thing in a day! I have to say it kind of made me want to quit at some parts but the main plot of the story, I liked so I kept reading and yeah, I liked the 'happily ever after' ending. lolz. even if it is more like a 'happy but not for the ever after' ending. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'll just stop now. Great story!
9hilaryjojoI read this whole thing in a day! I have to say it kind of made me want to quit at some parts but the main plot of the story, I liked so I kept reading and yeah, I liked the 'happily ever after' ending. lolz. even if it is more like a 'happy but not for the ever after' ending. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'll just stop now. Great story!
3/23/2007 c18 11Luv and Peace
O wow! Very very sweet story. I don't exactly know how i stumbled upon it, but i liked it. It's good stuff!
Keep writing!
11Luv and PeaceO wow! Very very sweet story. I don't exactly know how i stumbled upon it, but i liked it. It's good stuff!
Keep writing!
3/5/2007 c18 vivs8
i really really enjoyed this! Great work!
i really really enjoyed this! Great work!
12/25/2006 c18 iKosinR
aw! to be honest, i really felt like quitting this story halfway throughish because there was absolutely NO chemistry btwn nat and jeremy... um but the ending was PERFECTO! :)
aw! to be honest, i really felt like quitting this story halfway throughish because there was absolutely NO chemistry btwn nat and jeremy... um but the ending was PERFECTO! :)
12/23/2006 c18 Katt
I loved this. I basically read the whole thing in a day.
They're rather eloquent in their moment of extreme emotion, aren't they? It could do with some good sputtering here and there. Given that that's the only thing I noticed to comment on, your story has grand potential.
And I'm only slightly alarmed that I used to know someone named Matt Taylor. He was entirely unlike the one written into your story.
I loved this. I basically read the whole thing in a day.
They're rather eloquent in their moment of extreme emotion, aren't they? It could do with some good sputtering here and there. Given that that's the only thing I noticed to comment on, your story has grand potential.
And I'm only slightly alarmed that I used to know someone named Matt Taylor. He was entirely unlike the one written into your story.
12/23/2006 c18 3KeyshaYess
i was so freaking filled with emotions during his whole story.. its the bomb! =) and now i know why it was nominated as the one of the best love triangle stories.. cute :)
~kiiwiishortcake
3KeyshaYessi was so freaking filled with emotions during his whole story.. its the bomb! =) and now i know why it was nominated as the one of the best love triangle stories.. cute :)
~kiiwiishortcake