for After the Rain6/19/2004 c1 
49recalcitrant
i think that this is a very impressive write. it has a unique style and a strong voice. good job.
i hope you will take some time to review some of my work as well.
49recalcitranti think that this is a very impressive write. it has a unique style and a strong voice. good job.
i hope you will take some time to review some of my work as well.
6/19/2004 c1 2schizophrenic-stranger
Hello, eCappuccino, aka Spirit Star. I just recently got into reading poetry. I really like this one; lots of images.
I actually also read your input in EphemeraL DreaMs' review board, "The Perfect War". I really liked that. You expressed many things that I wanted to, but just couldn't find the right words.
Anyway, back to my original review, this was a very interesting poem. I like deep poems.
~*~schizophrenic_stranger
born to be hanged
2schizophrenic-strangerHello, eCappuccino, aka Spirit Star. I just recently got into reading poetry. I really like this one; lots of images.
I actually also read your input in EphemeraL DreaMs' review board, "The Perfect War". I really liked that. You expressed many things that I wanted to, but just couldn't find the right words.
Anyway, back to my original review, this was a very interesting poem. I like deep poems.
~*~schizophrenic_stranger
born to be hanged
9/18/2003 c1 30The B.A.T
Wow... pretty deep, dontcha' know? So many powerful metaphors (I like how you alluded to the snake and such). I'm obsessed with the Creation aspects of religion, lol, so naturally, Adam and Eve rank pretty high up there for me, and it's cool to see their tale used to metaphor the many complicated issues today. And I'm wondering; are you muslim? You said paradise, and not heaven, so it made me wonder... But this was a pretty powerful poem. I'd like to say more, but that usually results in me deciphering each line piece by piece, and I already know it's stupid to regurgitate the message of the writer back to the writer, so I won't do that. And even explaining THAT, I took forever... *sighs* I'm hopeless. Well, here's something useful; you're going on my favorite author's list, how about that? :p
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman
30The B.A.TWow... pretty deep, dontcha' know? So many powerful metaphors (I like how you alluded to the snake and such). I'm obsessed with the Creation aspects of religion, lol, so naturally, Adam and Eve rank pretty high up there for me, and it's cool to see their tale used to metaphor the many complicated issues today. And I'm wondering; are you muslim? You said paradise, and not heaven, so it made me wonder... But this was a pretty powerful poem. I'd like to say more, but that usually results in me deciphering each line piece by piece, and I already know it's stupid to regurgitate the message of the writer back to the writer, so I won't do that. And even explaining THAT, I took forever... *sighs* I'm hopeless. Well, here's something useful; you're going on my favorite author's list, how about that? :p
-Yusef "The B.A.T." Pittman
9/5/2003 c1 Winter's Roar
Oh, wow, lovely images! This poem almost feels sharp to the reader, (if that makes any sense). I love your use of words, very descriptive. "you danced with the snake" YEAH, Brilliant image! I love all the underlying (sp) messages in this poem, wonderful work! hats off to you once again on a fantastic poem.
~ winter
Oh, just a thought…When i first read the lines, "and it rains, and it rains/ and it stings, and it stings" i thought it said and it sings and it stings. It just got me thinking you might want to play around with those two lines a little, change them up. Your point is emphasized (sp) enough without repeating yourself. Just a random thought. Anyways, fantastic work.
Oh, wow, lovely images! This poem almost feels sharp to the reader, (if that makes any sense). I love your use of words, very descriptive. "you danced with the snake" YEAH, Brilliant image! I love all the underlying (sp) messages in this poem, wonderful work! hats off to you once again on a fantastic poem.
~ winter
Oh, just a thought…When i first read the lines, "and it rains, and it rains/ and it stings, and it stings" i thought it said and it sings and it stings. It just got me thinking you might want to play around with those two lines a little, change them up. Your point is emphasized (sp) enough without repeating yourself. Just a random thought. Anyways, fantastic work.