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for In the Eye of the Beholder

11/10/2003 c10 keilian matrix
hehe, this is amusing, i love the way you write. it seems unfinished, and a bit surreal in some places, as if there isn't very much emotion on behalf of the characters. sappy endings are always a bit crazy, happily ever after, yeah right...continue writing, i want to find out what happens...
10/4/2003 c7 5Khamron
Okay, I thought this story was pretty darn good until about here, when Osric told his security officer to go and kill the farmer who asked for Acha's hand in marriage. The thing is, he didn't seem like that kind of guy at first. Osric sounded like the type who disapproved of how the slaves were treated and was an all-in-all good person; but now, he sounds like he's obsesses with getting Acha, so much that he'd kill for her. It's just a little disturbing...

I will go on to read the rest, now!
6/24/2003 c10 Kyalia
Well, good job with the universe... (good story, but I'm bad at this whole review deal)
6/24/2003 c9 Kyalia
Ah. More problems- I was wondering where the plot would go after this.
6/24/2003 c8 Kyalia
Well, that takes care of the problem.
6/24/2003 c7 Kyalia
Still going...
6/24/2003 c6 Kyalia
Now it's moving.
6/24/2003 c5 Kyalia
A little Cinderellaesque right now... still going...
6/24/2003 c4 Kyalia
The messiah bit is sort of Dune-ish.
6/24/2003 c2 Kyalia
Good character sketches- short chapters aren't necessarily a bad thing.
6/24/2003 c1 Kyalia
I love prologues, even if I can never write them...
6/12/2003 c10 jeanne
awesome story. update! update! update! now now now. jkjk. i loved your story.
6/9/2003 c10 1Kay131
I want to find out how Acha reacts when she finds out the king murdered her betrothed, and how she's going to fix things on her planet. What about her parents, too? How and where will they live?
5/19/2003 c1 54Werecat99
So far it's interesting. You have set the worlds well.
5/14/2003 c7 Hobbitman001


Seriously you can make this better. But please dont stop it or else im goin to have to finish it for u. Just add a little action or suspense to complicate things.
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