for Descendants12/3/2003 c11 Rance Drai
Sorry I haven't gotten back with you in so long. Been really busy. Your characters are developing well, though a bit of variety could be used. You also have no women that I can recall. Either explain that or add them. It seems a bit odd otherwise. By the way a new chapter of Conspiracy is up. Peruse at your own desire. It will be worth your time.
Thanks,
Rance (busy...) Drai
Sorry I haven't gotten back with you in so long. Been really busy. Your characters are developing well, though a bit of variety could be used. You also have no women that I can recall. Either explain that or add them. It seems a bit odd otherwise. By the way a new chapter of Conspiracy is up. Peruse at your own desire. It will be worth your time.
Thanks,
Rance (busy...) Drai
10/9/2003 c7 Rance Drai
Everything seems alright. The plot is fine, though it seems to move a bit fast as if you were in a hurry to get somewhere. Slow down and have fun with the story. The main characters could use a bit more exposition but you will get to that eventually I suppose. Thanks for your review of Raven of Heaven. It only gets better as you get further in so tell me what you think.
Thanks,
Rance (so busy) Drai
Everything seems alright. The plot is fine, though it seems to move a bit fast as if you were in a hurry to get somewhere. Slow down and have fun with the story. The main characters could use a bit more exposition but you will get to that eventually I suppose. Thanks for your review of Raven of Heaven. It only gets better as you get further in so tell me what you think.
Thanks,
Rance (so busy) Drai
9/9/2003 c3 
5Rance Drai
Hmm... The plot is quite similar to a cross of the Belgariad and the LoTR. At least so far. I will read further into it when I have time. At least at this point you are moving the plot a bit too fast. Do not prostittute the plot out too early. Makes the rest of the story dull. I will check back later.
Thanks,
Rance (is at school with little time) Drai
5Rance DraiHmm... The plot is quite similar to a cross of the Belgariad and the LoTR. At least so far. I will read further into it when I have time. At least at this point you are moving the plot a bit too fast. Do not prostittute the plot out too early. Makes the rest of the story dull. I will check back later.
Thanks,
Rance (is at school with little time) Drai
5/29/2003 c9 Goodbye Fictionpress.com
Excellent, I love this story! I hope you update soon so i can see more
Excellent, I love this story! I hope you update soon so i can see more
5/22/2003 c3 Rhiannon Arbassa
I like it so far, I've only read up to here. Keep it up, your talent in writing is wonderful!
I like it so far, I've only read up to here. Keep it up, your talent in writing is wonderful!
5/20/2003 c6 7Destin
I really liked it ! It was very good !
You did a great job with the plot , and the characters seem so well thought out ^_^
If you can , can you please read one of my stories. It would make me really happy ^_^
Please update soon !
-Destin Scar
7DestinI really liked it ! It was very good !
You did a great job with the plot , and the characters seem so well thought out ^_^
If you can , can you please read one of my stories. It would make me really happy ^_^
Please update soon !
-Destin Scar
5/15/2003 c4 12Naamela
Hey, it's me, Scotia Li. Returning your review for my story (the Quicksilver Medallion, remember?)...
I am SO glad you reviewed "Medallion," because now I get to read your story, and it's leaving me in absolute awe! And not for the typical reasons.
I mean, you probably have gotten a lot of reviews saying things like "Oh, the plotline is so nice" or "Your writing style is wonderful," so I'll try to stay away from the typical compliments here.
Here goes. The things that really impressed me.
One-a helicopter in a fantasy story. That's just so col. What's next: Bazookas? Portable missile launchers? Atomic bombs?
Two-you actually know how to make paragraphs within a character's speech, using quotation marks the right way. I applaud you. ^-^
Three-good knowledge of military tactics (especially the idea of guerrilla warfare at the prologue).
Four-the term "gladius" for sword. I'm a Latin student. Since I recognized it, I feel smart.
It's the little things that make me love a story. ^_~
I only have a couple of suggestions-one is the pace. It's a bit too fast to keep track of. The other is characterization, especially of Jallik. In fact, if you slowed down the pace, you could fit more characterization in.
This review was really long. Sorry.
I can't wait until you get new chapters up!
~~Scotia Li
12NaamelaHey, it's me, Scotia Li. Returning your review for my story (the Quicksilver Medallion, remember?)...
I am SO glad you reviewed "Medallion," because now I get to read your story, and it's leaving me in absolute awe! And not for the typical reasons.
I mean, you probably have gotten a lot of reviews saying things like "Oh, the plotline is so nice" or "Your writing style is wonderful," so I'll try to stay away from the typical compliments here.
Here goes. The things that really impressed me.
One-a helicopter in a fantasy story. That's just so col. What's next: Bazookas? Portable missile launchers? Atomic bombs?
Two-you actually know how to make paragraphs within a character's speech, using quotation marks the right way. I applaud you. ^-^
Three-good knowledge of military tactics (especially the idea of guerrilla warfare at the prologue).
Four-the term "gladius" for sword. I'm a Latin student. Since I recognized it, I feel smart.
It's the little things that make me love a story. ^_~
I only have a couple of suggestions-one is the pace. It's a bit too fast to keep track of. The other is characterization, especially of Jallik. In fact, if you slowed down the pace, you could fit more characterization in.
This review was really long. Sorry.
I can't wait until you get new chapters up!
~~Scotia Li