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for Define Thyself

9/12/2003 c1 killthisaccountitsdead
This is very, very good. There's just this thing that bothers me: in some places you have these minor grammatic/typing mistakes ("...of *thing* that could have been", "*this* strangled thoughts of your choked dreams", and so on). I know it might seem petty, but it really does ruin the fluency of the poem, reduces its classiness. You lack capitals, as well, and punctuation. i really did like it, but i think refining this would make it a lot more respectable and raise it above the usual level of writing on this site.

p.s. - the part with the angel in the last verse... sorta corny. but it may be just me, great hater of corniness that i am, though i admit that i have sinned...

p.p.s. - would appreciate it if you visit my page and bother to review.
5/18/2003 c1 3Vague Lenore
Amazing! Simply amazing! If there was ever a poem that expressed how I felt, this is it. Thank you!
5/18/2003 c1 20Gothic Rose
Wow! I like this alot. It's awesome x 4! Very, very nice. Check out my stuff if ye get the time. ^.^

-blitz*

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